Tight Chut Ka Maja Kaise Le?

Santa Roz Biwi Ko Sex Ke Waqt Bolta Tha.
Santa: “Aur Tight Kar – Aur Tight Kar, Achhe Se Tight Kar”
Biwi Tang Aakar Ek Din Gusse Se Boli: “Bhosdi Ke Bahar Jaa Ke Ganne Ke Juice Ki Machine Main Dal Le, Tight Bhi Pura Hoga Aur Juice Bhi Jyada Niklega“

Mujhe Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikhayi De Raha

Ek Bar Santa Ki Eyes Mein Kuch Problem Aa Gayi, To Uska Eyes Ka Operation Karna Pada.
Operation Ho Gaya To Santa Ne Socha Ki Chalo Paisi Bachaye Jaye.
Doctor Ne Uski Aankho Ki Patti Kholni Shuru Ki, Aur Pucha
Doctor: “Kaisa Dikh Raha Hai Ab Aapko?”
Santa: “Doctor Saab Mujhe Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha”
Doctor Ne Uski Aankhein Saanf Ki Or Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Dr. Saab Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikh Raha”
Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Apni Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Apne Kapde Utare, Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha Ji”
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Bra And Panty Utarne Ko Kaha, Aur Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Nahi Ji Sab Kuch Kaala Kaala Hai”
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Santa Ke Samne Jake Apne Boobs Hilaye Aur Choot Mein Ungli Dale.
Nurse Ne Esa Kiya, Doctor Ne Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Doctor Saab Sach Mein Mujhe Kuch Najar Nahi Aa Raha”
Doctor Ne Santa Ko Zor Se Thappar Mara Aur Bola.
Doctor: “Bhonsdi Ke Kuch Bhi Nazar Nahi Aa Raha To, Tera Lund Kaisi Khada Ho Gaya Hai?“

Kaam Pura Dhyan Laga Ke Karna Chahiye

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Ne Apni Naabhi Ke Neeche Chidiya Ka Tattoo Banwaya Tha
Ek Din Pappu Ke Sath Sex Karne Ke Baad Usne Pappu Se Pucha.
Ladki: “Tumne Chidiya Dekhi?”
Pappu: “Nahi Mera Saara Dhyan Ghosle Mein Tha“

Ab Upvas Bhi Hoga Khaas

Kya Aap Bhi Pareshan Hai Ese Dialogs Se
“Aaj Nahi, Aaj To Mera Vrat Hai”
Gabraye Nahi, Ab Aise Dino Ke Liye Jaldi Hi Aa Raha Hai
Manforce Condom In Sabudana Flavor,
Only For Fasting Days,
Ab Upvas Bhi Hoga Khaas.

How To Make Younger Wife Pregnant

There Was An Elderly Man Who Wanted To Make His Younger Wife Pregnant.
So, He Went To The Doctor To Have A Sperm Count Done.
The Doctor Told Him To Take A Specimen Cup Home, Fill It, And Bring It Back The Next Day.
He Elderly Man Came Back The Next Day And The Specimen Cup Was Empty And The Lid Was On It.
Doctor: “What Was The Problem?”
Elderly Man: “Well, You I Tried With My Right Hand…Nothing. So, I Tried With My Left Hand…Nothing. My Wife Tried With Her Right Hand…Nothing. Her Left Hand…Nothing. Her Mouth…Nothing. Then My Wife’s Friend Tried. Right Hand, Left Hand, Mouth…Still Nothing.”
Doctor: “Wait A Minute. You Mean Your Wife’s Friend Too?”
Elderly Man: “Yeah, And We Still Couldn’t Get The Lid Off Of The Specimen Cup“

Nirmal Baba Ka Upaye Biwiyo Ke Liye

Ek Baar Ek Aurat Badi Pareshani Ki HaalaT Mein Nirmal Baba Ke Pass Gayi Aur Rote Hue Apna Dukhda Boli
Aurat: “Baba Ji Meri Madad Karo”
Nirmal Baba: “Kya Hua Bachha?”
Aurat: “Mera Pati Roj Rat Ko Ghar Late Aata Hai”
Nirmal Baba: “Ek Kam Karo, Ghar Ke Bahar Ek Board Laga Do”
Aurat: “Ji Kaisa Board?”
Nirmal Baba: “Yahi Ki, Raat Ko 9 Baje Sex Shuru, Pati Ghar Ho Ya Na Ho“

Pakistani Urdu Vs India Ki Hindi & Punajbi

Bhai Jan Aap Mujhe Pareshan Kar Rahe Hain / Yaar Tune Kya Meri Gaand Leni Kar Rakhi Hai /yaar Tu Ki Bund Leni Kitti Aa
Maine Apko Kya Keh Diya / Maine Konsa Teri Gaand Mar Li / Mein Ki Teri Bund Marli
Main Apko Abhi Theek Karta Hoon / Ruk Abhi Teri Bahan Ko Lund Deta Hun / Dena Haan Teri Bhen Nu Lun
Ye Sab Kisne Kiya / Ye Kisne Maa Chudvayi Hai / Aa Kine Ma Chudai Aa
Main Apko Pasand Nahi Karta / Main Teri Gaand Bhi Nahi Maarta / Main Teri Bund Vi Ni Marda
Aap Mere Sath Itna Free Kyun Ho Rahein Hai / Abe Mere Lund Pe Kyu Chadi Jaa Raha Hai / Lun Te Ki Chari Janaa
Aap Bahut Chalak Insaan Ho / Tu Bahut Bada Bahan Ka Lund Hai / Tu Pura Haraam Da E

Buro Kamo Ki Saza Itni Jaldi Nahi Milti

Ek Baar Ek Callgirl Jisne Sex Karne Ke Record Tode The,
Achanak Zindagi Se Tang Aakar Suicide Karne Ke Liye Station Gayi,
Aur Taangein Pasaar Kar Patri Par Baith Gayi,
Aur Agle Din Subah Paper Ki Headline Thi “Train Lapata Hai“

Dimag Ho Aisa To Kaise Na Mile Choot

Ek Baar Ek Aadmi Apne Dost Ke Ghar Jata Hai.
Par Uska Dost Ghar Par Nahi Hota Kisi Kam Se Bahar Market Tak Gaya Hota Hai.
Aadmi Uski Biwi Se Puchta Hai: “Aapke Pati Kab Tak Aa Jayenge?”
Aurat Bolti Hai: “1 Gante Tak Aa Jayenge”
Aadmi: “Chalo Thodi Der Yahi Pe Unka Intzar Kar Leta Hoon”
Aadmi Wahi Sofe Pe Beth Jata Hai, Thodi Der Baad Dost Ki Biwi Se Bolta Hai.
Dost: “Babhi Ji, Agar Aap Mujhe Apna Ek Boob Dikhayengi To Mein Aapko 500 Rupaye Dunga”
Pahle To Aurat Sochti Hai Ki Sala Kya Bakwas Kar Raha Hai, Fir Socha Ki Sirf Ek Boob Hi To Dikhana Hai.
Aurat Apna Ek Boob Dikha Deti Hai Aur 500 Rupaye Le Leti Hai.
Thodi Der Baad Aadmi Phir Puchta Hai: “Agar Aap Mujhe Apne Dono Boobs Dikhayengi To Mein 500 Rupaye Aur Dunga”
Aurat Ye Sunkar Jaldi Se Dono Boobs Dikha Deti Hai Aur 500 Rupaye Le Leti Hai.
Aadmi Phir Bola: “1500 Rupaye Aur Dunga Agar Inhe Chussne Do To”
Aurat Ne Socha Choosna Hi To Hai 1500 Rupaye Bhi Mil Jayenge.
Aurat Ne Jaldi Se Apni Shirt Utari Aur Boli: “Ye Lo Choos Lo”
Aadmi Choosne Laga Use Aur Maja Aaya. Thodi Der Choosne Ke Baad Phir Kaha.
Aadmi: “2500 Rupaye Dunga Chut Bhi Dikha Do”
Aurat Ne Socha Ki Sirf Dikhani Hi To Hai 2500 Rss Mill Jayenge, Khoob Achi Shopping Karungi, Aurat Ne Jeans Utaar Ke Apni Chut Bhi Dikha Di.
Lekin Aadmi Ka Usko Dekhte Hi Sex Karne Ka Man Karne Laga Aur Bola.
Aadmi: “Babhi Ji, Bas Ek Khawish Aur, Agar Aap Sex Karne De To 5000 Rupaye Aur Dunga”
Aurat Ne Socha Chalo Ghar Par Bhi Koi Nahi Hai Aur Taste Bhi Change Ho Jayega Aur Paise Bhi Mil Jayenge, Vese Bhi Kisi Ko Kya Pata Lagna Hai
Aadmi Ne Tassali Baksh Us Se Chudayi Ki Aur Sex Karke Paise Dene Ke Baad Bola
Aadmi: “Acha Lagta Hai Unko Der Ho Jayegi Mein Phir Kabhi Aa Jaunga”
Aurat Khushi Se Boli: “Haan Ji Jaroor-Jaroor Aaiyega”
Aadmi Ke Niklte Hi Thodi Der Baad Aurat Ka Pati Aa Jata Hai Aur Puchta Hai.
Pati: “Mere Kisi Dost Ne Aakar Tumhe 10000 Rupaye To Nahi Diye, Jo Usne Mujhse Kal Udhar Liye The, Bol Raha Tha Ki Aaj Ghar De Jaunga“

Punjabi Shayari For Girlfriend

Chal Ni Kudiye Kachi Khol,
Mumme Tere Gol-Gol,
La Ke Kapde Aaja Kol,
Nange Ho Ke Kariye Ghol,
Ghase Marange Forty-Four,
Munda Hoye Gol-Matol,
Nam Rakhange Sunny Deol.

Fauji Aisi To Nahi Hote?

Gaanv Mein Ek Ladki Bhagi Bhagi Ghar Ke Ander Aayi Aur Apni Maa Se Boli
Ladki: “Maan Foji Aa Raha Hai”
Maan: “Beti Andar Aaja Fojiyon Ki Niyat Kharab Hoti Hai”
Ladki: “Magar Maan Foji Sardar Hai”
Maan: “To Phir Bakriyan Bhi Andar Lele”
Ladki: “Maan Foji Novjyot Singh Sidhu Hai”
Maan: “To Phir Bakriyon Ke Sath Sath Murgiyan Bhi Andar Lele“

Kya Se Kya Bana Diya Sajaan Tune Mujhe

Bacha Kuch Sochta Hua Apni Maa Ke Kamre Mein Aya Aur Puchha
Beta: “Mummy, Didi Ko Sab Log Maal Kyun Kehte Hai?”
Mummy: “Beta, Shadi Ke Pehle Main Bhi Maal Thi Tere Papa Ne Ghis-Ghis Kar Maal Se L Nikalkar Maa Bana Diya“

Kaam Karna Koi Asaan Thode Hai

Office Mein Nayi Secretary Aayi, Aate Hi Usne Boss Se Pucha
Secretary: “Sir, Mujhe Roz Kitne Ghante Bethna Padega?”
Boss: “Do Option Hai – Bagal Ke Cabin Mein 10 Ghante, Ya Phir Mere Ghante Pe 10 Minute“

This Is Old Man Is So Nice

A Blind Man Was Walking Down The Street With His Dog.
They Stopped At The Corner To Wait For The Passing Traffic.
The Dog, At This Point, Started Pissing On The Mans Leg.
As The Dog Finished The Man Reached Into His Coat Pocket And Pulled Out A Doggie Treat And Started Waving It At The Dog.
A Passerby Saw All The Events Happening And Was Shocked.
He Approached The Blind Man And Asked How He Could Possibly Reward The Dog For Such A Nasty Deed.
The Blind Man Replied “Oh I’m Not Rewarding Him, I’m Just Trying To Find His Head So I Can Kick His Fuckin’ Ass“

Biwi Se Syanpanti Nahi Karni Chahiye

"Bahut Se Log Apni Biwiyo Se Syanpanti Karte Hai Aur Sochte Hai Ki Budhu Banaye, Par Is Biwi Ne To Haal Behaal Kar Diye"

Ek Aadmi Fauj Mein Tha Aur Har Mahine Biwi Ko Paise Bheja Karta Tha
Ek Bar Us Ne Apni Biwi Ko Khat Likha: “Is Mahine Salary Ke Badle 100 Kiss Bhej Raha Hoon”
Biwi Bhi Puri Tez Thi Palat Ke Jawab Bheja: “Aap Ki Salary Ke Badle 100 Kiss Milay, Hisab Bhej Rahi Hoon:
Doodh Wala 2 Kiss Mein Hi Maan Gaya,
Teacher Ko 7 Deni Padi,
Sabzi Wala 7 Main Nahi Mana To 9 Dene Padi,
Kiryanewala 9 Kiss Se Nahi Mana To Usko 5 Aur Di,
Makaan Malik To Roz 6-7 Le Hi Jata Hai,
Aap Chinta Mat Karna, Mere Pass Approx 35 Aur Hai, Yeh Mahina Aaram Se Kat Jayega.”

Yaar Ese Na Kar Chusne De

Ladki: “Jaanu Mere Muh Mein Daalo, Main Choosungi”
Ladka: “Nahi Nahi, Tum Kha Gayi To Main Kya Karunga?”
Ladki: “Yaar Itne Kanjus Na Bano, Tum Doosri Cornetto Le Lena“

Who Was In Charge?

Once Time All The Organs Of The Body Were Having A Meeting, Trying To Decide Who Was In Charge.
The Brain Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Run All The Body’s Systems, So Without Me Nothing Would Happen”
The Heart Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Pump The Blood And Circulate Oxygen All Over The Body, So Without Me You’d All Waste Away.”
The Stomach Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Process Food And Give All Of You Energy.”
The Rectum Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I’m Responsible For Waste Removal.”
All The Other Body Parts Laughed At The Rectum And Insulted Him, So In A Huff, He Shut Down Tight.
Within A Few Days, The Brain Had A Terrible Headache, The Stomach Was Bloated, And The Blood Was Toxic.
Eventually The Other Organs Gave In. They All Agreed That The Rectum Should Be The Boss.
The Moral Of The Story? The Asshole Is Always In Charge.

Din Raat Dikhe Bas Mujhe Ek Hi Cheez

Pappu Ne Santa Se Puchha: “Papa, Mummy Ke Do Aur Cow Ke Chaar Kyu Hote Hai?”
Santa: “Madarchod, Kaha Se Sikh Ke Aaya Hai Ye Sab Tu”
Pappu: “Papa, Main To Taangon (Legs) Ki Baat Kar Raha Hoon, Apko To Din Raat Bas Chuchi Hi Dikhti Hai“

Use With Caution

A Man In Hurry By Mistake Uses Ladies Toilet In A Five Star Hotel.
He Sits Down And Notices 4 Buttons- WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, He Presses WW & He Is Gently Sprayed With Warm Water,
Then WA, A Blast Of Warm Air Dries Him.
Then PP, A Powder Puff Which Left Him Smelling Fresh.
Feeling Pampered He Presses APR.
Next Day He Wakes Up In Hospital.
He Asked the nurse: “What Happened To Me, All I Remember Is I Pressed APR”
A Nurse Smiled And Said “APR Meant Automatic Pad Remover Your Cock And Balls Are In This Jar, If You Want, Take Them.”

Tharki Aunti, Pappu Ki Deewani

Jawan Ladka Apni Jawan Aunti Ke Sath Scooter Par Ja Raha Tha,
Jab Bhi Aunti Ke Boobs Uski Kamar Par Lagte To Wo Kahta,
Ladka: “Na Pappu Na Ye Aunti Hai”
Ghar Aa Ke Aunti Ne Use Pucha: “Tu Kis Pappu Se Baatein Kar Raha Tha?”
Ladke Ne Sharmate Hue Kaha: “Mera Baar-Baar Khada Ho Raha Tha To Main Isko Samjha Raha Tha Ke Pappu Khada Na Ho Ye Aunti Hai”
Aunti Khushi Se Boli: “Hat Pagal, Tu Pappu Ko Na Rok, Aunti To Main Teri Hoon Pappu Ki To Nahi“

In Order To Get Good Job

According To William Sexfear Research
In Order To Get Good Job In Good Company A Boy Require 100% Talent.
Where As Girls Require Only 4% Talent .. Remaining Is ( 36 ) )24( ( 36 ) = 96 %

Jaisi Karni Vaisi Hi Bharni Ka Example

Pankaj Naam Ke Ek Ladke Ki Shadi Nahi Ho Rahi Thi, To Usne Apna Dimag Lagaya Aur Poore Sheher Mein Shor Machwa Diya Ke Uske Do Lund Hai.
Fatafatt Kafi Sare Rishte Aane Lage, To Usne Ek Khubsurat Si Ladki Pasand Karke Shadi Kar Li
Suhag Raat Ko Patni Puchati Hai: “Arrey Apka Doosra Lund Kahan Hai?”
Pankaj Ne Dimag Lgaya Aur Bola: “Wo Doosra Lund Pados Wale Sharmaji Le Gaye Hai.”
Patni Ne Bhi Kaha Chal Koi Baat Nahi Aur Dono Ki Aram Se Zindagi Beetne Lag Gayi
Kuch Dino Ke Baad Pankaj Ko Kisi Kaam Se Shahar Se Bahar Jana Pada, Teen-Chaar Din Ke Baad Aata Hai To Biwi Uske Aate Hi Ladna Shuru Kar Deti Hai.
Pankaj Bechare Ko Samajh Nahi Aati Aur Vo Hairan Hokar Puchta Hai: “Arrey Hua Kya Hai?”
Biwi Gusse Se Bolti Hai: “Mene Aap Jaisa Chutiya Dusra Nahi Dekha”
Pankaj Ke Tote Udd Gaye Aur Usne Pucha: “Kyu Mene Kya Kiya?”
Biwi: “Aap Ne Chota Wala Lund Apne Paas Rakh Liya Aur Badewala Sharma Ji Ko Kyon Diya?“

Fass To Bechara Fir Bhi Gaya

Ek Aadmi Ek Aisi Bus Mein Ghus Gaya Jisme Saare Sardar Hi Bethe Hue The,
Jaisi Hi Vo Ek Seat Pe Betha, Sath Wale Sardar Ne Usko Kaha: “Chal Bhai Ek Joke Suna”
Aadmi Bechare Ki To Ye Sunte Hi Fat Gayi, Ki Joke Kaise Sunau?
Saare Joke To Sardaro Pe Hi Hote Hain, Agar Maine Sunaya To Ye Log Mujhe Marne Lagenge.
Usne Mana Kar Diya Ki Mujhe Koi Joke Nahi Aata.
To Sardar Bola: “Saale Joke Sunaa Nahi To Abhi Peetna Shuru Kar Denge”
Bechara Aadmi Dar Gaya Aur Usne Apna Dimaag Laga Ke Joke Sunana Shuru Kar Diya,
Woh Bola: “Ek Bihari Tha”
Uska Ye Bolna Hi Tha Ki 3-4 Sardaro Ne Use Thappad Marne Shuru Kar Diye,
Aur Bole: “Bhosdi Ke Sardaar Saare Mar Gaye, Jo Tune Iss Joke Mein Bihaari Ko Ghusa Diya.”

Shayari Pyare Se Dost Pe

Chahat Hai Tu,
Hasrat Hai Tu,
Umeed Hai Tu,
Takdir Hai Tu,
Imaan Hai Tu,
Yaar Hai Tu,
Armaan Hai Tu.
Short Form… “C.H.U.T.I.Y.A” Hai Tu.

Cricket Ka Deewana Shayar

Mere Lund Ki Bowling Ne Uski Choot Ka Wicket Gira Diya,
Mere Lund Ki Bowling Ne Uski Choot Ka Wicket Gira Diya,
Lekin Taqdir To Dekho…
Uske Baap Ne Abortion Karwa Ke Meri Ball Ko No-Ball Kara Diya.

Tum Logo Ka Hi To Hai

Pappu Ek Din Sadak Par Khada Hokar Peshab Kar Raha Tha.
Ek Ladki Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Se Boli: “Tujhe Sharam Nahi Aati?”
Pappu: “Sharm Wali Kon Si Baat Hai, Aap Ke Liye Hi To Isko Utha Rakha Hai, Hamne Kon Sa Gaand Mein Lena Hai“

Laga Rah Mere Dost Laga Rah

Jahaan Dosti Waha Pyar,
Jaha Pyar Waha Ishq,
Jaha Ishq Waha Mohabbat,
Jaha Mohabbat Waha Chudai,
Jaha Chudai Waha Dard,
Jaha Dard Waha Zandu Baam,
Ab Sirfrs 19 Rupaye Mein Laga Rah.

Ladki Ke Nakhre Chudne Tak

16 Saal Ki Ladki Ke Set Hone Se Chudne Tak 16 Nakhre:
1. Tumne Suna Nahi, Mera Peecha Mat Karo
2. Main Koi Aisi Vesi Nahi Ek Sharif Ladki Hoon
3. Bas Ek Baar Hi I Love You Bolungi
4. Thik Hai Par Sirf Ek Baar Hi Milungi
5. Main Aa To Gayi, Par Kuch Karna Nahi
6. Yaar Sharam Kar Lo, Koi Dekh Lega
7. Bus Uper Uper Se Kar Lo Jo Karna Hai
8. Oye Please Yaar Jeans To Mat Utaro
9. O.K. Udaas Mat Hovo Kar Lo. Bus Ek Baar Hi Karungi
10. Yaar Light Band Kar Do Badi Sharam Aa Rahi Hai
11. Ye To Bahut Lamba Hai, Ander Hi Nahi Jayega
12. Suna Hai Pahli Baar Karne Pe Bada Dard Hota Hai
13. Please Aram Aram Se Karna Zor Se Mat Dalna
14. Ooi Maaa, Bohat Dard Ho Raha Hai Plz Bahar Nikalo
15. Aah Aah Oooh, Please Thoda Sa Aur Ander Dalo Na
16. Bahar Na Nikalo Ander Hi Rahne Do.

Lal Killa Lal Kyun Hai?

Pappu Aur Uski Girlfriend Ek Din School Ke Ground Mein Bethe Thhe
Girlfriend Ne Kuch Sochte Hue Pappu Se Puchha: “Yaar, Ye Lal Killa Lal Kyun Hai?”
Pappu Bhi Majak Ke Mood Mein Tha Bola.
Pappu: “Kyunki, Rajnikant Ne Paan Kha Kar Us Par Pichkari Mari Thi, Ab Ye Mat Puchhna Ki Taj Mahal Safed Kyun Hai“

Randi Ki Atamkatha Shayarana Andaaz Mein

Main Aayi Shehar Mein Logo Ne Mujhe Ghoora,
Bra Kholi Aur Mera Doodh Pee Gaye Poora,
Ramu Chacha Aaye Aur Mera Daam Bol Diya,
Kuch Kahu Uske Pehle Mera Nada Khol Diya,
Unki Ye Harkat Mujhe Lagi To Bahut Achi Thi,
Agle Hi Pal Unke Hath Mein Meri Kachhi Thi,
Bed Pe Chadar Bichi Rang Birangi Thi,
Kuchh Hi Palon Mein Main Poori Nangi Thi,
Unke Paas Na Koi I-Pill Na Koi Nirodh Tha,
Mere Man Mein Sirf Isi Baat Ka Virodh Tha,
Usne Pakad Ke Mujhe Zor Se Bed Pe Gira Diya
Bina Kuch Kahe Apna Pura Andar Mere Dal Diya
Dard To Hui Mujhe Bahut Par Pee Gayi Main Thodi Thodi
Chacha Ne Ab Dekh Mujhe Kaha Beta Ban Ja Ab Tu Godi
Chudne Se Pehle Jitna Main Darr Aur Gabra Rahi Thi
Ab Utna Aur Jyada Main Uska Apne Ander Le Rahi Thi
Lund Meri Choot Ki Waadiyo Mein Jane Kaha Kho Gaya,
Ab Niche Dekhiye Kahi Aapka Bhi Khada To Nahi Ho Gaya.

Baniye Logo Ki Delivery Itni Sasti Kyu?

Ek Hospital Ke Aage Ek Note Pe Likha Tha Yahan Normal Delivery 500/- Rupaye Mein Hoti Hai Aur Baniye Ki 10/- Rupaye Mein,
Ek Pandit Ne Ye Note Pada Aur Hairan Hokar Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Aur Puchha.
Pandit: “Hamari Itni Mehengi Aur Baniye Ki Itni Sasti Kyun?”
Doctor: “Kyun Ki Hamein Baniye Ki Delivery Mein Jayda Kaam Nahi Karna Padta Hai”
Pandit: “Wo Kaise ?”
Doctor: “Hum Dilevery Ke Samaye Choot Ke Aage 1/- Ka Sikka Dikhate Hai, Aur Baccha Apne Aap Bahar Aa Jata Hai“

What A Tester

In An Alcohol Factory The Regular Taster Died And The Director Started Looking For A New One To Hire.
A Drunkard With Ragged – Dirty Look Came To Apply For The Position.
The Director Of The Factory Wondered How To Send Him Away! They Tested Him
They Gave Him A Glass With A Drink – He Tried It And Said, “It’s Red Wine, A Muscat, Three Years Old, Grown On A North Slope, Matured In Steel Containers.” That’s Correct Said The Boss.
Another Glass. “It’s Red Wine, Cabernet, Eight Years Old, A Southwestern Slope, Oak Barrels” “Correct”
Now, The Director Was Astonished – Amazed
He Winked At His Secretary To Suggest Something. She Brought In A Glass Of Urine.
The Alcoholic Tried It ! “It’s Of A Blonde -26 Years Old- Pregnant ! Probably Third Month Now – And If You Don’t Give Me The Job, I’ll Tell Who The Father Is !“
He Got The Job

Kis Desh Ki Police Sabse Bhadiya Hai?

Ek Baar America, Japan Aur India Ke Police Officers Mein Behas Ho Gayi, Ki Kon Sabse Bhadiya Hai.
Har Koi Apne Desh Ki Police Ko Behtar Bata Raha Tha, Akhir Ye Faisla Hua Ki Competition Rakha Jaye.
To Competition Mein Ek Sher Ko Jungle Main Chod Diya,
Aur Chaar Ghante Baad America Ki Police Ko Sher Pakadne Ke Liye Bheja.
America Police Ne 10 Ghante Ke Andar Sher Ko Pakad Liya.
Sher Ko Phir Jungle Main Choda Gaya Aur Japan Police Ko Pakadne Ke Liye Bheja.
Japan Ki Police Ne 5 Ghante Main Sher Ko Pakad Liya.
Sher Ko Phir Se Jungle Main Chod Diya Aur Indian Police Ko Bheja Gaya.
Indian Police 2 Din Tak Laut Ke Nahi Aayi.
To Sabhi Officers Unko Dhundne Ke Liye Jungle Main Ghus Gaye.
Ghane Jungle Mein Dekhte Hai Ki Indian Police Ek Gidad Ko Ulta Latka Kar Maar Rahi Thi
Aur Bol Rahi Thi: “Kabool Kar Bahan Ke Laude, Ki Main Hi Sher Hoon“

Apne To Apne Hote Hai

Jhuke Lund Ke Bhi Sapne Hote Hai,
Chut Milne Ke Bhi Nagme Hote Hai,
Agar Khada Na Ho Apka Kabhi Chodne Mein,
To Hamein Yaad Karna Kyun Ki Apne To Apne Hote Hai.

Esa Kyu Hai Fir?

Question Of The Year.
Jab Mohobbat Or Jung Mein Sab Jayaz Hai,
To Mohobbat Mein Hone Wale Chunnu Munnu Na-Jayaz Kyun?

IPL Ke Maze Lo I-Pill Ke Sath

Six And Sex:
Utha Ke Maro To Six,
Lita Ke Maro To Sex,
Bahar Gaya To Six,
Andar Gaya To Sex,
Dono Haath Upar To Six,
Dono Per Upar To Sex
Enjoy IPL With I-Pill..

Difference Between Foreigner And Indian After Whiskey

Whats The Difference Between Foreigner And Indian After Two Pegs Of Whiskey?
Foreigner Says: “Good Night Sweet Dreams”
Indian Says: “Bhai Ab Batao Kiski Maan Chodni Hai“

Ladiyo Ke Liye Sujhav, Baba Saxidas Ji Ka

"Hamare Baba Ji Hamesha Ladko Ko Hi Shiksha Dete Rahte Hai, Par Aaj Unhone Pahli Bar Ladkiyo Ko Ek Sujhav Diya Hai, Batana Jarur Ki Kaisa Laga ;)"

Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Kahna Hai Ki Ladkiyo Ko Apni Shave Regular Karte Rahna Chahiye
Ab Aap Ladkiya Soch Rahi Hongi Ki Kyu?
Isliye Ki Agar Baal Jyada Badd Jayenge To Unmein Jue Pad Sakti Hai
Ab Agar Jue Padengi To Unka Dil Udhar Khujli Karne Ka Bhi Karega
Khujli To Hath Se Karni Padegi, Aur Jab Udhar Hath Lagega To Maja Bhi Aayega
Aur Jab Maja Aayega To Fir Aur Maja Lene Ka Dil Karega.
Hath Se Jab Dil Bhar Jayega To Fir Koi Boy Friend Banane Ka Dil Karega.
Aur Aage To Aap Ladkiya Sayani Hi Ho.
Isliye Agar Pyaar Vyaar Ke Chakkar Se Bachna Hai To Regular Shave Karti Raha Karo.

Ladki Ne Shayad Sprite Pee Thi

Ladka Apni Premika Ko Lekar Ek Hotel Mein Gaya
Khana Peena Khane Ke Baad Jab Sone Ki Baari Aayi To Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Kaha
Ladka: “Hello Darling, Nind Nahi Aa Rahi Hai Sex Ho Jaye?”
Ladki Gusse Se: “Abe Bhonsdi Ke Meri Choot Mein Kon Sa Teri Maan Loriyan Gaa Rahi Hai, Jo Tujhe Nind Aa Jayegi, Muthh Maar Aur So Ja”
Ladki Ne Shayad Sprite Pee Thi, Isliye Sidhi Baat No Bakwas …. :p

Khwaishein Chotte Bachho Ki

"Teen Bachho Ki Story, Jo Aap Logo Ko Sochne Pe Majbur Kar Degi Ki Aaj Ke Time Mein Akhir Ho Kya Raha Hai?"

Teen Bache, Karib 12-12 Saal Ke, Ghar Ke Bahar Khel Rahe The,
Wahi 2 Gaadiyan Ek Lancer Aur Dusri Honda City Khadi Thi.
Pehle Bache Ki Khwaish Badi Thi, Bola: “Main Chahta Hoon Ki Mere Chandi Ke Baal Uge, Taaki Use Tod Kar Main Ye Lancer Kharid Sakun”
Dusra Kaafi Pahuncha Hua Tha, Bola: “Main Chahta Hoon Ki Mere Sone Ke Baal Uge, Taaki Use Tod Kar Main Ye Honda City Kharid Sakun”
Teesra Chup Tha, Dono Ne Vajah Puchhi: “Abe Tujhe Chandi Ke Baal Chahiye Ya Sone Ke?”
Teesra Bola: “Na Main Sone Ke Baal Chahta Hoon, Na Chandi Ke, Main Apni Body Ke Ek Khas Hisse Pe Baal Chahta Hoon, Wo Baal Meri Behan Ke Paas Hai Aur Ye Dono Gaadiya Usi Ki Hain“

A Man With His Tool In A Woman’s Mouth

A Great Thinker Once Said:
A Man With His Tool In A Woman’s Mouth ….

Can Be A Dentist.
Shame On Your Dirty Thinking.

Divorced But Still Virgin

On The Wedding Night.
Wife: “Hey Be Gentle Please .. Its My First Time On Bed”
Husband Shocked: “What? But You Have Been Divorced Three Times”
Wife: “Yes”
My 1st Husband Was A “Philosopher” He Only Talked About It.
2nd Was “Gynecologist” He Just Kept Looking At It.
3rd Was “Engineer” He Needed A Year To Design A New Way To Do It.
And You Are A “Politician” So This Time I Know I Am Going To Be “Fu-Ked” Like The Whole Country.

Jaisa Baap Vaisa Beta

Ek Din Santa Ne Bade Dukhi Mann Se Apne Baap Ko Dukhda Sunaya.
Santa: “Papa, Mene Biwi Ko S.M.S Kiya Ke Main Aaj Raat Ko Ghar Pahunch Jaunga”
Ghanta Singh: “Firr??”
Santa: “Main Ghar Aaya To Wo Kisi Aur Ke Sath Bister Pe Thi”
Ghanta Singh Kuch Sochte Hue: “Beta, Dil Chhota Na Kar Sms Nahi Mila Hoga“

 

Beware Of Doctors

A Lady Died Of Aids Because Her Doctor Made A Mistake In Prescription.
He Wrote, Make Frequent Changes In ‘Males‘ Instead Of ‘Meals‘ Beware Of Doctors.

Hindu Ladke Se Shadi Karne Ke Fayde

Muslim Ladki Ke Fayde Ek Hindu Ladke Se Shaadi Karne Ke.
Burkhe Se Aajadi,
7-8 Deliveries Se Rahat,
Talak Ka Koi Khatra Nahi,
Saaf Daadi Wala Pati Aur Puri Lulli.

Warning On A T-Shirt Of A Girl

Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
“Statutory Warning: Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside“

Aye Meri Jaan, Itna Sa Kahna Maan

Chodumal Khan Saab Ji Ki Shayari Apni Premika Ke Liye
Shikwa Na Kar, Gilla Na Kar,
Bas Itni Si Baat Hai Mere Yaar..
Jab Main Daalu, Tu Hilla Na Kar.

Light Chale Jaane Par Reaction

Light Chale Jaane Par:
U.K: “Oh No”
U.S.A: “Whats This”
Germany: “Oh Shit”
Europe: “Hey Shit Man”
India: “Inki Behen Ko Chodu, Abi To Aayi Thi“

Definition Of A Lesbian?

Question: “What Is The Definition Of A Lesbian?”
Answer: “Just Another Damn Woman Trying To Do A Man’s Job“

Ladkiya Aur Jyada Sunder Aur Sexy Kaisi Lag Sakti Hai?

Pappu Ek Din Apni Girlfriend Ko Ghar Lekar Aya Aur Uska Sex Ka Mood Ban Gaya.
Ab Problem Ye Thi Ki Vo Usko Directly Sex Ko Bol Nahi Sakta Tha,
Dimag Lagaya To Ek Idea Aya, Apni Girlfriend Ko Samjhate Hue Bola
Pappu: “Agar Tum 500gm Weight Ek Minute Mein Kam Kar Do To Tum Jyada Sundar Aur Sexy Lagogi”
Girlfriend Hairani Se: “Ye Kaise Ho Sakta Hai?”
Pappu: “Bas Apne Kapde Utaar Do“

Grammer Wali Madam Ka Period

Teacher: “Bachon Aaj Hum Grammer Padhenge, To Batao Ek Aurat Ek Khidki Se Jhank Rahi Hai, Ye Kya Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Ye Ek Vachan Hua”
Teacher: “Good, Ab Batao Ki – Bahut Si Aurtein Khidkiyon Se Jhank Rahi Hai?”
Pappu Kuch Sochkar Bola: “Mam, Ye To Randi Bazar Hua“

Taxes On Rape

Judge: “You Are Accused Of Rape, So You Are Fined Rs.11461”
Man: “My-lord Why Exactly Rs11461?”
Judge: “Rs.10000 For Rape, 4% Vat And 10.2% Entertainment Tax“

Insulting SMS For Your Friend

Ek Ladka Ladki Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Tha,
Ladki Achanak Zor Se Hansi,
Ladka: “Kya Hua Jaan?”
Ladki: “Jaanu Tumhara To Ek Hi Tatta Hai”
Ladka: “Nahi Jaan Dusra Abhi SMS Padh Raha Hai“

Yaad To Aayegi Hi

Suhag Raat Ko Pati Ne Patni Ki Taange Uthai, To Patni Rone Lagi
Pati: “Kya Hua?”
Patni: “Kuch Nahi Hamra Padosi Deepak Yaad Aagya, Uska Bhi Yehi Style Tha......

Hijde Ko Tadpana Achi Bat Nahi Hai

Ek Hijda Bazar Se Guzar Raha Tha.
Achanak Uski Gand Mein Kisi Ne Ungli Dal Di, Aur Turant Hi Nikal Di
Hijda: “Haye Haye Ye Miss Call Kisne Maari“

Motapa Kaise Kam Kare, 3 Din Mein 20 Killo

"Aaj Ke Time Mein Sab Motape Se Pareshan Hai, Apne Rathee Ne Bhi Wajan Kam Karne Ki Sochi Aur Vakiye Hi Wajan Kam Kar Liya, Par Kaisi?"

Hamara Pyara Dost Rathee Bahut Mota Tha Aur Apne Wajan Ko Lekar Bahut Pareshan Tha.
Usne Bade Bade Tarike Apnaye, Gym Gya, Medicines Khayi Par Koi Farak Na Pada.
Ek Din Usne News Paper Mein Add Dekhi, Ki “Teen Din Mein 20 Killo Wajan Kam Kare, Fees Sirf 5000 Rs”
Rathee Bada Hairan Hua Ki Esa Kaise Ho Sakta Hai, Man Mein Shanka Lekar Udhar Ja Pahuncha.
Jake Manager Se Mila Aur Pucha: “Arey Esa Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Ki Aadmi Ka Teen Din Mein 20 Killo Wajan Kam Ho Jaye?”
Manager Muskura Ke Bola: “Aap Is Bat Ki Chinta Na Kare, Join Kare Aur Khud Dekh Le”
Rathee Ne Socha Ki Chalo Itne Paise Barbaad Kiye Hai Ek Baar Aur Sahi, Usne Ye Soch Ke Fees Bar Di.
Ek Aadmi Aya Aur Usne Uske Sare Kapde Utarva Ke Nanga Kar Diya, Aur Use Ek Kamre Mein Chhod Aya.
Do Minute Bad Kamre Mein Ek Nangi Par Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Ladki Aayi
Rathee Ka Usko Dekhte Hi Khada Ho Gaya Aur Uske Muh Se Laar Tapkane Lagi.
Ladki Boli: “Agar Tumne Mujhe Pakad Liya To Tumhe Apne Saath Sex Karne Ka Moka Dungi”
Ye Kahte Hi Ladki Kamre Mein Bagne Lag Gayi Aur Rathee Usko Pakadne Ke Liye Uske Piche Piche.
1 Ganta Race Chalti Rahi Par Rathee Us Ladki Ko Na Pakad Paya Aur Thak Kar Behosh Ho Kar Gir Gaya.
Thodi Der Baad Hosh Aaya Utha Aur Bahar Nikal Ke Usne Apna Wajan Tola To Dekha Ki 5 Killo Wajan Kam Ho Gaya.
Rathee Khush Hua Aur Ghar Aa Gaya, Agle Din Fir Vahi Pahuncha Aur Man Mein Socha Ki Aaj Is Ladki Ko Pakad Hi Lunga.
Fir Race Shuru Ho Gayi, Rathee Uske Piche Piche Bhag Raha Tha Aur Is Bar Ladki Ke Kafi Najdik Pahunch Paa Raha Tha
Par Ladki Aur Tez Bhagne Lag Gayi, Is Bar 2 Gante Bhaag Kar Rathee Thak Har Kar Beth Gaya.
Bahar Aya Check Kiya To 5 Killo Aur Wajan Kam Ho Gaya Tha. Rathee Bahut Hi Khush Ho Gaya Aur Ghar Aa Gaya
Agle Din Usne Kasam Kha Li Thi Ki Aaj To Is Ladki Ko Pakad Ke Hi Rahunga.
Agle Din Vo Nanga Hokar Kamre Mein Pahuncha Aur Ladki Ka Intezar Karne Lag Gaya.
Tabhi Ek 7 Foot Ka Kala Habshi (Neegro) Kamre Mein Aya, Jiska Lund Bahut Hi Mota Aur 12 Inch Ka Tha.
Rathee Ko Dekh Ke Habshi Muskura Ke Bola: “Beta Agar Mene Tujhe Pakad Liya To Main Teri Tasalli Se Gaand Marunga”
Bas Fir Kya Tha Rathee Aage Aage Aur Habshi Piche Piche, Rathee Pure Josh Ke Sath Bhag Raha Tha.
3 Gante Tak Ye Chalne Ke Baad Rathee Puri Tarha Thakne Ke Baad Gir Kar Behosh Ho Gaya.
2 Gante Baad Jab Hosh Aya To Bahar Nikla Aur Wajan Tolne Gaya To Dekha Ki Sidha 10 Killo Wajan Kam Ho Gaya Thha.

Poor Rosemary

Rosemary Divorced Mr.Lele.
B’coz She Was Sick Of Telling Her Name, Roz Meri Lele,
Imagine Her Tough Luck, She Was Re-Married To Mr. Marlow.

Girlfriend Ke Saath Kya Kar Raha Tha

Ladka Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath,
Kamre Ke Andhar,
Table Ke Upar,
Pankhe Ke Neeche,
De Tacatac… Tacatac…
De Tacatac… Tacatac…
Salo Tennis Khel Raha Tha, Jaruri Nahi Har Jagha Sex Hi Kare.

When Is That The Skin Meets Skin?

When Is That The Skin Meets Skin,
Hair Meets Hair And Balls Disappear,
Dirty Mind Its When You Blink Your Eyes.

Sabka Dene Ka Apna Apna Style Hai

Kuch Ladkiyan Khade Ho Kar Deti Hain,
Kuch Ladkiyan Beth Kar Deti Hain,
Kuch Ladkiyan To Dono Tarah (Khade Aur Beth Kar) De Sakti Hain,
.
.
.
You Dirty Mind …. Jhadoo

Achieving Your Target

Achieving Your Target In Studies Is Just Like Being Pregnant.
Everyone Congratulates You On The Outcome,
But No One Knows How Many Times You Got Fu-Ked.

Bhagwaan Ke Naam Par Roti Milegi?

Pet Ki Aag Bhujane Ke Liye Akhir Kya Kya Nahi Karna Padta, Aur Kahte Hai Pet Ki Bukh Ke Aage Aur Koi Bukh Nahi Rukti."

Bikhari Ne Ek Aadmi Ke Ghar Ka Darwaja Khatkataya Aur Bola
Bhikari: “Babuji, Bhagwaan Ke Naam Par Roti Milegi?”
Babuji: “Akela Hoon Ghar Pe Koi Aurat Nahi Hai”
Bhikari: “Babuji, Taqleef Pet Mein Hai Lund Mein Nahi, Roti Maangi Hai Choot Nahi“

Films Ke Naam Ka Chakkar

Santa Banta Ek Din Film Se Related Baat Kar Rahe The To Achanak Se Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha.
Santa: “Deepa Mehta Ne Ek Film Lesbeens Par Banayi Naam Rakha Fire Ab Wo Gay Ke Upar Film Bana Rahi Hai Socho Uska Naam Kya Hoga?”
Banta: “Pata Nahi”
Santa: “Backfire“

Kam Se Kam Bachho Ki To Sharam Kar Lo

Ye Tab Ki Baat Hai, Jab Pappu 5th Class Mein Thha.
Uski Class Ki Ek Teacher Pregnant Thhi, Usko Dekh Ke Ek Din Pappu Bola
Pappu: “Madam Aapko Beta Hone Wala Hai Ya Beti?”
Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Ye Baat Mujhe Kaisi Pata Hogi?”
Pappu: “Madam Mujhe Pata Hai Aapko Kya Hone Wala Hai, Aapko Ladka Hone Wala Hai”
Teacher Hairani Se: “Arey, Tujhe Ye Baat Kaisi Pata?”
Pappu: “Mam Vo Jab Aap Chair Pe Pair Utha Ke Beth Ti Ho To Ander Se Uski Mooche Dikhti Hai“

Dalna Hai To Dalo Nahi To Rahne Do

"Yaar Tum Logo Ki Marji Hai Dalo Chahe Na Dalo. Acha Lage To Dal Dena Nahi To Rahne Dena, Aurat Ho Ya Mard Bas Dal Do... Par Kya?"

Tumhara Farz Hai Dalna,
Tumhra Haq Hai Dalna,
Acha Lage To Dalo,
Bharosa Ho To Dalo,
Jaha Marzi Dalo,
Jisko Marzi Dalo,
Orat Ko Dalo – Ya Mard Ko Dalo … “Vote“

Husbands Are Like Owls

Teena: “What Do You Think About Husbands?”
Meena: “They Are Like Owls”
Teena: “Why?”
Meena: “They Can See The Good Things In A Wife Only At Night“

Bachte Bachte Bachha Ho Hi Gaya

Naukrani Apna Sara Samaan Pack Karke Apne Ghar Jaa Rahi Thi,
Jate Hue Apni Maalkin Se Mili Aur Boli.
Naukrani: “Malkin Main Gaanv Jaa Rahi Hun, Main Pregnent Hoon”
Malkin: “Mubarak Ho, Klawati”
Naukrani: “Sahab Ko Bol Dena, Ke Unka Nasbandi Ka Opration Sahi Nahi Hua“

Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Mein Liya Hai?

Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Mein Liya Hai?
Woh Mota Sa, Jiske Aas-Paas Baal Hote Hai
Naram-Naram Sa Hota Hai
Aur Uper Ek Cover Bhi Hota Hai
Nahi … ? ? ? ? ?
Jooth Kyu Bolte Ho Yaar?
Kabhi Bhutta Nahi Khaya Kya?

Janu Koi Takleef To Nahi Hui Na?

"Kayi Log Suhagrat Par Biwi Ke Sath Karte Hue Bada Dhayan Rakhte Hai, Ese Hi Is Shaks Ne Rakha, Par Jab Agle Din Biwi Se Pucha To Kya Jawab Mila?"

Suhagrat Pe Patni Ke Sath Bade Aram Aram Se Sex Kiya Taki Use Koi Takleef Na Ho
Agle Din Usne Apni Biwi Se Puchha.
Pati: “Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui”
Patni: “Nahi, Bohat Maza Aaya, Dard To Tab Hota Tha Jab Main School Mein Thi“

Always End The Relationship Like This

Girlfriend: “I Want To End Our Relationship, I Am Going To Return Everything You Gave Me”
Boyfriend: “Ok, Then Let’s Start With Kisses“

Khadi Rahne Wali Cheeze Khadi Hi Rahti Hai

Ek Old Couple Paris Mein Ghumne Ke Liye Gaye.
Waha Bada Hi Romantic Mahol Tha, Jise Dekh Ke Budhe Ko Feelings Aa Rahi Thi.
Achanak Se Biwi Boli: “Pehle Eiffel Tower Chale Ya Hotel Ke Room?”
Husband: “Hotel Ke Room Mein Chalte Hai, Eiffel Tower To Kal Bhi Khada Rahega“

Ladki Ka Naam To Bada Hi Pyara Hai

Santa Banta Ek Din Park Mein Bethe The To Achanak Se Santa Ek Ladko Ko Dekh Ke Bola.
Santa: “Yaar Bantya, Wo Ladki Kitni Sundar Hai”
Banta: “Mujhe Uska Naam Pata Hai”
Santa Hairani Se: “Achha Kya Naam Hai Uska?”
Banta: “Wo Bank Mein Kaam Karti Hai, Uske Counter Ke Upar Uska Naam Likha Tha… Chaalu Khaata“

Choice Is In Your Hands

After Marriage Rs.6000 Per Month,
Or Condom Rs.3.30,
Or 10 Minutes In Bathroom Rs.0.00,
Choice Is In Your Hands.

Koi Pathar Se Na Mare, Is Deewane Ko

Pappu Ne Ek Din Bazar Mein Ek Ladki Dekhi Aur Uske Piche Piche Jane Laga, Taki Dekh Sake Vo Kahan Rahti Hai
Kuch Dur Jane Ke Bad Ladki Ko Ehsas Ho Gaya Ki Pappu Uska Picha Kar Raha Hai To Vo Gusse Se Boli.
Ladki: “Sale, Mere Piche-Piche Ghumega To Patthar Fenk Ke Marungi”
Pappu Bhi Pura Harami Tha Bola: “Achha, Tu Sirf Patthar Uthane Ke Liye Jhuk To Sahi, Teri Gaand Hi Maar Dunga“

Bachho Shor Mat Karo

4th Class Ke Bacho Ko Ek Miss Pada Rahi Thi, Par Bache Kafi Shor Macha Rahe Thhe
Tang Aakar Miss Bacho Se Boli
Miss: “Shor Mat Karo Warna Khada Kar Dungi”
Sub Bache: “Miss Pehle Mera… Pehle Mera… Pehle Mera…“

How To Recharge A Sex Card?

Question: “How To Recharge A Sex Card?”
Answer: “Open Bra, Press Nipple, Scratch Panty, Insert P3nnis, A Sound “Uee Maa” Confirm Sex Card Recharge Successfully Valid For 9 Month“

Savita Aunty Ki Billi

Chota Ladka Bhaga Bhaga Ghar Aya Aur Apni Maa Se Bola
Ladka: “Mummy Mummy Savita Aunty Ki Billi Ne Daru Pee Lee”
Mummy Hairan Hote Hue: “Arrey, Tumhe Kaise Pata?”
Ladka: “Wo Papa Aunty Se Keh Rahe The Savita Teri Pussy Bahut Nasheeli Hai“

Height Of Facebook Update

Height Of Facebook Update:
“Suhaag Raat Hain Ghunghat Utha Raha Hoon Main”
…………………….. 25 Likes,
And…………….. 1 Comment,
“Keep On Updating We Are Online“

Fir Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?

Shadi Ke Agle Din Muslim Ladke Se Uske Dosto Ne Pucha
Dost: “Kaisa Raha?”
Ladka Rote Hue: “Yaaro, Kabhi Apne Relatives Mein Shadi Mat Karna, Zara Sa Zor Lagaya To Boli Aamir Bhai Aaram Se“

Make Me Feel Like A Wife

A Hot Girl Removes Her Jeans Tells To Her Boyfriend,
Girl: “Make Me Feel Like A Wife”
The Boy Also Removes His Jeans And Says,
Boy: “Wash Both The Jeans“

Sex Ka Maja Kis Din Aaya?

Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?”
Biwi SHarmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The“

Aye Mere Dost Jara Dhayan Se

Upar Mat Dekh Sitaare Gir Jayenge,
Niche Mat Dekh Pathar Pighal Jayenge,
Samne Mat Dekh Koi Sharma Jayega,
.
.
.
Par Piche Jarur Dekh Varna Koi Gand Mar Jayega.

Kissing At The Top, Fire At The Bottom

Kissing At The Top, Holding At The Middle & Fire At The Bottom.
Do You Know The Answer?
What ?
Don’t Think Dirty…
.
.
.
Its A “Cigarette“

Bechari , Dono Taraf Se Fasi

Ek Ladki Rote Hue Apne Pita Ji Ke Pass Aayi Aur Boli
Ladki: “Papa, Bhaiya Ne Aapko Gaali Di, Betichod”
Baap Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Aane De Saale Ko, Uski Behen Chod Dunga”
Ladki: “Chalo Papa Rehne Do, Dono Taraf Se Chudai To Meri Hi Hogi“

Feeling Bored? Wondering What To Do?

Feeling Bored?
Wondering,
What To Do?
Open The Zip,
Enter Your Hands In Between Your Zip,
.
.
.
Take Out Your Book From Your Bag And Study.

Gunah Karne Se Kaise Bache

Maa Pareshani Ki Halat Mein Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli
Maa: “Dr Saab, Kunwari Beti Ka Abortion Karwana Hai.”
Doctor: “Gunah Ke Kaam Kyun Karti Ho?”
Maa: “Doctor Sahab, Mene Ise Samjhaya Tha Gunah Se Behtar Hai Condom Use Kiya Karo“

Faansi laga li..?????

Sabta: Yaar tune jiss ladaki ko swimming pool me-
dubane se bachaya tha
usne faansi laga ke
suicide kar liya..
Banta: Pagal hai kya? Usse to maine hi sookhane ke liye
Taanga tha..

Pakistani Ladkiyon Ke Boobs Bade Kyon Hote Hain?

Pakistani Ladkiyon Ke (    .    ) (    .    ) Boobs Bade Kyon Hote Hain?
Kyun Ki….
Wo Aate-Jaate Har Ek Ko Kehti Hain
“Aa Daab – Aa Daab“

Do You Sell Viagra Here?

A Middle Aged Man, About 5 Foot 8 Inches Tall, Walks Into A Walmart And Asks Where The Pharmacy Counter Is.
He Is Directed To It. When He Reaches It, He Asks To See The Pharmacist.
The Pharmacist Comes And The Man, Looking Around Furtively, Asks Quietly: “Do You Sell Viagra Here?”
The Pharmacist Answers Firmly: “Yes, Sir. We Certainly Do.”
The Man Then Asks: “Do You Think I Could Get It Over The Counter?”
The Pharmacist Thinks For A Moment And Then Says: “Perhaps, If You Took Five Or Six Pills At Once You Might.“

Raat Ko Hamesha Kapde Utaar Ke Sona Chahiye.

"Dosto Kabhi Socha Hai Ki Rat Ko Hamesha Kapde Utar Ke Sona Chahiye, Par Kyu?"

Raat Ko Hamesha,
Kapde Utaar Ke Sona Chahiye.
Mera Matlab Rassi Se,
Kyun Ke Baarish Ka Kuch Pata Nahi Hota.

Andhere Mein Kabhi Car Thik Mat Karo

Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Workshop Mein Kaam Kar Rahe The,
Santa Ek Car Ke Niche Gus Kar Usko Thik Kar Raha Tha.
Achanak Light Chali Gayi, Santa Bola.
Santa: “Chote, 10 No. Ka Pana De”
Banta: “Aaaaaahhh Oye Madarchod Hath Mein De“

Jako rakhe saiyan.mar sake na koy

Reporter to Pathan: Plateform par khade sabhi Pathan ek sath kaise mar gaye ?
Pathan : Ek Elaan huwa ki Train Plateform par aa rahi hai sabhi jaan bachane ke liye patari par kud gaye.
Reporter : Toh pathan ji aap akele kaise Bach gaye ?
Pathan : Mai Suside karne ke liye patari pe leta huwa thha elaan sunkar patari par se uthkar plateform par aakar let gaya thha

The Helping Hand

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Jo Mila Ladki Ko Mila..

Jo Mila Ladki Ko Mila.
Hont Mile Chuswane Ko,
Mumme Mile Dabwane Ko,
Phuddi Mili Chudwane Ko,
Gand Mili Marwane Ko.
Aur Aapko Kya Mila Janab ???  Sirf Lund !
Aur Wo Bhi Sirf Hilane Ko???
So Hilate Raho

Ladies Ke Pass Wo Kya Hai?

Ladies Ke Paas Wo Kya Hai Jo Round Shape Mein Hai,
Left & Right Side Hai,
Chalte Hue Hilti Hai,
Uska Name B Se Start Hota Hai?
Socho
?
?
?
Bangles, Soch Badlo Desh Badlega.

Hey Mere Bhagwan Ye Kya Ho Gaya

Banta Bhaga Bhaga Santa Ke Ghar Aya Aur Hanfte Hue Santa Ko Bola
Banta: “Santa, Mene Abhi Teri Biwi Ko Gashtiyon (Call Girls) Ke Adde Pe Dekha Tha, Jara Dhayan Rakha Kar”
Santa Rote Hue: “Haye Mere Bhagwan, Meri Gharwali Ko Choot Lene Ki Aadat Kab Se Pad Gayi?“

Intelligent Boyfriend

A Boy With A Girlfriend Entered A Jewellery Shop On A Saturday & Choose A Diamond Ring Worth 8 Lakhs For Her Girlfriend,
He Gave A Cheque And Said He’ll Collect The Ring On Monday After The Cheque Is Cleared.
On Monday Jeweler Called The Boy And Said,
Jeweler: “There’s No Money In Your Bank A/C”
Boy: “I Know But You Can’t Imagine What A Weekend I Had With My Girlfriend“

Haaye Re Tensions Hi Tensions

Ek Aadmi Ki Biwi 3 Din Se Beemar Thhi, Bechara Tension Mein Thha
Ghar Se Dawayi Lene Ke Liye Nikla To Baarish Shuru Ho Gayi, Tension Aur Bad Gayi
Baarish Ruki To Jaisi Hi Ghar Se Nikla To Bike Puncture Ho Gayi, Bechara Fir Tension Mein
Bike Ko Puncture Lagvaya To Thodi Door Jane Ke Baad Ek Aurat Ne Use Awaj Di, Usko Tension Hui Ki Ye Kon Hai Jisne Awaj Lagayi
Usne Aurat Se Pucha To Usne Bataya Ki Vo Pregnant Hai Usko Hospital Le Jao, Bechara Aur Tension Mein Aa Gaya
Fir Bhi Insaniyat Ke Nate Usne Uski Help Ki Aur Hospital Le Gaya, Pata Chala Doctor Abhi Nahi Aya, Bechare Ki Tension Aur Bad Gayi
Doctor Jab Aya To Usne Operation Karne Se Mana Kar Diya Ki Iske Pati Ko Lao, Aadmi Ko Aur Tension Ho Gayi
Par Usne Apna Faraz Nibhate Hue Kaha Ki Main Hi Iska Pati Hun, Ab Tension Ye Thhi Ki Bachha Hoga Bhi Nahi
Doctor Ne Usko Aake Kaha Ki Ladka Hua Hai, Ab Vo Jaisi Hi Jane Laga To Aurat Ne Awaj De Ke Kaha Patidev Kaha Ja Rahe Ho. Sun Ke Tension Extreme Ho Gayi
Usne Kaha Ki Maine To Operation Ho Jaye Isliye Kaha Tha Ki Pati Hun, Par Aurat Ne Kaha Ki Yahi Mera Pati Hai, Tension Se Sir Fatne Ko Ho Gaya
Usne Kaha Ki Doctor Mera Test Kar Lo, Doctor Ne Test Kiya To Pata Chala Ki Vo To Baap Hi Nahi Ban Sakta Tha, Ye Sochkar Uski Tension Hadd Se Jyada Badd Gayi
Jaisi Hi Bahar Aya To Socha Ki Ghar Mein Jo Do Bache Hai Fir Vo Kiske Hai, Bas Is Tension Se Vo Vahi Behosh Ho Gaya
So Dosto Aaj Ke Time Jidhar Bhi Jao Tensions Hi Tensions Hai, So Jara Dhayan Se Jiyo

Sachii Ghatna Daheradun Ki

Ek Sachhi Ghatna Jise Soch Kar Insan Ki Rooh Tak Kaap Jati Hai,Lekin Zalimon Ke Hath Tak Nahi Kaape
Daheradun Ki 17 Saal Ki Ladki, Jisne Abhi-Abhi 12th Pass Ki Thi,
Aur Abhi Jo Din Uske Enjoy Karne Ke Khelne Kudne Ke The,
Uske Sage Mama Aur Mami Ne Behla Fusla Kar Patakar Usse

Engineering Ka Form Bharva Hi Diya.

Ise Kahte Hai Kismatwala

Ladka Shaadi Ke Pehle Apni Hone Wali Biwi Ko Doctor Ke Paas Virginity Test Ke Liye Le Gaya.
Test Ke Baad Doctor Khush Hote Hue Ladke Ko Bola: “Congrates, You Are So Lucky, Mera Badi Mushkil Se Andar Gaya“

What Is Long & Hard, Has A Hole At The Tip

What Is Long & Hard, Has A Hole At The Tip And When You Insert It Into A Wet, Hairy & Tight Hole Makes You Feel Better?
Vicks Inhaler

Where Is My Car?

A Man Walks Out Of A Bar, Stumbling Back And Forth With A Key In His Hand. A Cop On The Beat Sees Him, And Approaches.
Cop: “Can I Help You, Sir?”
Man: “Yesssh! Sssshomebody Ssshtole My Car!”
The Cop Asks: “Where Was Your Car The Last Time You Saw It?”
Man: “It Wasssh At The End Of Thisssh Key!”
The Cop Next Looks Down And That The Man’s Member Is Being Exhibited For All The World To See.
He Asks The Man: “Sir, Are You Aware That You Are Exposing Yourself?”
The Man Looks Down Woefully And Without Missing A Beat, Moans: “Ohhh God . . . They Got My Girlfriend Too!!!“

Santa Banta Bhi Kamaal Hai, Kuch Nahi Sochte

Santa Banta Ka Ek Din Movie Dekhne Ka Program Bana.
Jaisi Hi Cinema Pahunche To Santa Ne Ticket Counter Par House Full Ka Board Dekha Aur Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Maa Ki Choot Band Ho Gayi Sali”
Banta Ne Ye Suna Aur Bola: “Oye Aaja Aaja Koi Baat Nahi, Bahan Ki Choot Black Mein To Mill Rahi Hai Na“

Gotiya Hamare Lund Se Jyada Kali Kyu Hoti Hai?

Baba Ji Ka Ek Bhakat Bada Hi Ajeeb Sa Prashan Leke Baba Saxidas Ji Ke Pass Gaya.
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Mujhe Aaj Tak Ek Baat Nahi Samajh Aayi Aur Main Bada Pareshan Hun, Kripya Aap Uska Jawab De Dijiye”
Baba Ji: “Bolo Beta, Kya Sawal Pareshan Kar Raha Hai Tumko?”
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Gotiya Lund Se Zyada Kali Kyo Hoti Hai?”
Baba Ji Pahle Muskuraye Aur Apne Bhakt Ki Taraf Pyar Bhari Najro Se Dekh Kar Bole
Baba Ji: “Beta, Kyunki Wo Lund Ko Maze Leta Dekh Kar Jalti Rehti Hai.“

My Mom Is Better Than Yours

Two School Kids Were Arguing In The Playground.
First Boy: “My Dad Is A Better Snooker Player Than Your Dad”
Second Biy: “No He Ain’t, My Dad Got The Highest Score Last Week.”
First Boy Think For A Moment And Said: “Ok, Ok, But My Mom Is Better Than Your Mom.”
Second Boy Said With A Smile On His Face: “Yeah, Alright, My Dad Also Says The Same Thing.“

Chooss Chooss Chooss

Chooss Chooss Chooss
Maze Le Le Kar Chooss
Bari Bari Ek Ek Kar Ke Chooss
Ya Dono Ko Ek Saath Chooss
Masal Masal Ke Choos
Kyon Kay
Kahin Aamon (Mango) Ka Season Khatam Na Ho Jaye.

Kheli Khayi Patni Ka Example

Suhag Raat Ke Din Pati Apni Patni pe Rob Dalne Ke Liye Bola.
Pati: “Bolo Tume Chand Ki Sair Karvau Ya Taaron Ki?”
Patni Bhi Kheli Khayi Thi Sun Ke Boli
Patni: “Pahle Rocket To Dekh Loon Baad Mein Decide Karungi“

Bhagwan Bhi Pareshan Ho Gaye

Bhagwan Ne Srishti Ki Rachna Karne Ke Baare Mein Socha Aur Issi Purpose Se Adam Aur Eve Ko Banaya,
Unhone Adam Ko Bulaya Aur Kaha: “Ab Tumhare Liye Ek Vishesh Karye Hai, Jise Tumhe Hi Poora Karna Hoga”
Adam: “Prabhu, Aap Aadesh Kare, Aapke Aadesh Ka Palan Hoga”
Bhagwaan: “Adam, Tum Dharti Par Jaao”
Adam: “Ye Dharti Kya Hai? Prabhu”
Bhagwan Adam Ko Dharti Ke Baare Mein Samjhate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tumhe Dharti Par Jana Hoga Aur Waha Seedhe Bharat Mein Jana”
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Bharat Kya Hai? Iske Baare Mein Bataye?”
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Bharat Ke Baare Mein Batate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Adam, Tum Bharat Mein Pahunch Kar Himalay Par Pahunch Jana”
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Himalay Kya Hai?”
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Himalay Ke Baare Mein Batate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Adam, Himalay Par Phunch Kar Ek Nadi Paar Kar Lena”
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Nadi Kya Hoti Hai?”
Bhagwaan Aaram Se Adam Ko Nadi Ke Baare Mein Vistaar Se Batate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tum Uss Nadi Ko Paar Karke Ek Gufa Mein Ghuss Jana”
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Gufa Kaisi Hoti Hai?”
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Gufa Ke Baare Mein Ache Se Samajha Dete Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tumhe Uss Gufa Mein Ek Aurat Milegi”
Adam: “Ye Aurat Kya Hoti Hai? Prabhu”
Bhagwaan Phir Se Adam Ko Aurat Ke Baare Mein Poora Samajhate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tum Uss Aurat Ke Sath Sex Karna Taki Bachhe Paida Ho”
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Sex Kya Hota Hai, Aur Isse Bachhe Kaise Paida Honge?”
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Sex Ke Baare Mein Vistaar Se Samjhate Hai Aur Use Bharat Jane Ke Liye Ravana Kar Dete Hai.
Adam Bhi Prithvi Par Bhagwaan Ke Bataye Anusaar Pahunch Jata Hai, Lekin Kuch Der Baad Adam Phir Se Bhagwaan Ke Paas Aa Jata Hai,
Bhagwaan Pehle Se Hi Gusse Mein Baithe The, Aur Gusse Mein Aakar Bole
Bhagwaan: “Kya Hua Abb Kyu Wapis Aaye Ho, Kya Wo Aurat Tumhe Gufa Mein Nahi Mili?”
Adam: “Aurat To Mil Gayi Prabhu Par Ek Samasya Hai?”
Bhagwaan: “Kya Samasya Hai?”
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Sir Dard Kya Hota Hai?

Reason Behind The Names

A Boy Goes To His Mother One Day With A Puzzled Look.
Boy: “Mom, Why Is My Bigger Brother Named Thunderstorm?”
She Told Him: “Because He Was Conceived During A Mighty Storm.”
Then He Asked: “Why Is My Sister Named Cornflower?”
She Replied: “Well, Your Father And I Were In A Cornfield When We Made Her.”
Boy: “And Why Is My Other Sister Called Moonchild?”
Mom Replied: “Because We Were Watching The Moon Landing While She Was Conceived.”
Thoughtfully, Mother Paused And Asked Her Son: “But Why Are You So Curious, Broken Rubber?“

Woh Mangti Thi Mein Deta Na Tha

Ladke Aur Ladki Ki Shayari Jo Aapka Lund Khada Karva Dengi, Pade Ye Purani Double Meaning Shayari Ek Naye Andaaj Mein"

Woh Mangti Thi Mein Deta Na Tha,
Jawaab Uske Kisi Bhi Sawaal Ka.
Ek Din Uss Ne Manga To Khara Ho Gya,
Rongata Rongata Meray Jazbat Ka
Ek Din Wo Boli Peeche Se Nahi Age Se Karo,
Tum Deedar Mere Husn-E-Shabaab Ka
Bada Dard Hota Hai Jab Ander Jaata Hai,
Kaano Mein Ik Ik Lafz Mere Yaar Ka.
Fir Mene Pyar Se Diya To Choot Gaya
Haath Se Mere Laal Phool Gulaab Ka
Uss Ne Kaha Ke Kar Lo Mager Kisi Ko Na Batana
Bus Chupa Rahe Yeh Afsaana Hamare Pyar Ka

Dada Ji Kya Padd Rahe Ho?

Ek Pote Ne Apne Dada Ji Ko Koi Kitaab Padte Hue Dekha Aur Pucha
Pota: “Dada Ji, Kya Padd Rahe Ho?”
Dada Ji: “History Ki Book”
Pote Ne Kitaab Ke Title Ko Dekha Aur Hairan Hote Hue Dada Ko Bola.
Pota: “Par Ye To Sex Ki Kitab Lagti Hai”
Dada: “Abe Bhonsdi Ke, Mere Liye To Ye History Hi Hai Na“

Gandu Pati, Mera Ya Tera?

Ek Aurat Ne Rote Hue Apni Sath Wali Padosan Ko Dukhda Sunaya.
Aurat: “Mujhe Bachcha Nahi Ho Raha”
Padosan: “Tumhara Pati Gandu Hoga?”
Aurat: “Mera Pati Kya, Mujhe To Tumhara Pati Bhi Gandu Hi Lagta Hai“

Sardar Ji Pakde Gaye…. Kyun??

Ek Bar Ek Political Rally Mein Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Khub Jamkar Pityai Kari
Baad Mein Logo Ne Jab Reason Pucha To Santa Rote Hue Bola.
“Udhar Ek Ladki Apni Chati Pe Sticker Laga Ke Ghoom Rahi Thi “Press” Bus Maine Waha Se Press Kar Diya.”

Is That For Sale?

A Well-Stacked Young Advertising Secretary Wore Tight Knit Dresses That Showed Off Her Figure, Especially When She Walked.
Her Young, Aggressive Boss Motioned Her Into His Office One Afternoon And Closed The Door.
Pointing To Her Tightly Covered Derriere, He Asked: “Is That For Sale?”
“Of Course Not!” She Snapped Angrily, Blushing Furiously.
Boss Replied Quietly, “Then, I Suggest You Quit Advertising It.“

Nam Ka Chakkar, Bada Hi Ganchakkar

Hamare Khas Dost Rathi Ji Ne Public Toilet Mein Peshab Karte Hue Paas Wale Ka Lund Dekha.
Uske Lund Par Likha Tha Rathi, Apne Jaat Bhai Ko Dekh ke Khush Hote Hue Puchha.
Rathi: “Bhai Sahab Aap Bhi Rathi Hai?”
Aadmi: “Nahi Main Brahmin Hoon”
Rathi: “Phhir Aap Ke Lund Par Rathi Kyu Likha Hai?”
Aadmi: “Chutiye, Khada Hoga Tab Dekhna, Uspar Likha Hoga RAmnarayan tripaTHI“

Nam Ka Chakkar, Bada Hi Ganchakkar

Hamare Khas Dost Rathi Ji Ne Public Toilet Mein Peshab Karte Hue Paas Wale Ka Lund Dekha.
Uske Lund Par Likha Tha Rathi, Apne Jaat Bhai Ko Dekh ke Khush Hote Hue Puchha.
Rathi: “Bhai Sahab Aap Bhi Rathi Hai?”
Aadmi: “Nahi Main Brahmin Hoon”
Rathi: “Phhir Aap Ke Lund Par Rathi Kyu Likha Hai?”
Aadmi: “Chutiye, Khada Hoga Tab Dekhna, Uspar Likha Hoga RAmnarayan tripaTHI“

Tharki Doctor Chala Tha Marij Ka Ilaaz Karne

Badi Dukhi Si Halat Mein Ek Marij Sex Ke Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.
Marij: “Doctor Sahab, Mera Khada Nahi Hota”
Doctor Ne Apni Ek Sunder Si Nurse Ko Bola.
Doctor: “Nurse Idhar Aao, Apni Bra Utaro”
Doctor Ne Fir Marij Se Puchha: “Ab Use Dekho, Khada Hua?”
Marij: “No”
Doctor: “Nurse, Apni Panty Utaro”
Doctor: “Ab?”
Marij: “No”
Doctor: “Ab Tum Bahar Jao Mera Khada Ho Gaya Hai“

Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do

Ek Bar Bahut Bade Hotel Mein Shadi Ho Rahi Thi, Udhar Apne Santa Ji Bhi Masti Maar Rahe The.
Achanak Se Sath Mein Khadi Ek Ladki Ko Toilet Jana Thha Usne Santa Se Puchha.
Ladki: “Sardar Ji, Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do”
Santa Ne Sharamte Hue Jawab Diya: “You Naughty Girl Pahle Tum Dikhao Fir Mein Dikhaunga“

Confident Vs Confidential

A Young Boy Asks His Dad.
Boy: “What Is The Difference Between Confident And Confidential?”
Dad Smiled And Says: “You Are My Son, I’m Confident About That. Your Friend Over There, Is Also My Son, That’s Confidential!“

Bed Zara Majboot Banana

Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi To Vo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola.
Aadmi: “Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai”
Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola: “Ji Chinta Na Kijiye, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Nahi Tutega.“

Sex Ke Deewane Log

Ek Ladka Apni Girlfriend Se Sex Karne Ke Liye Apni Pent Utarta Hai.
Girlfriend Uska Lund Dekhte Hi Boli: “Tumhara To Bilkul Tumhare Bhai Jaisa Hai”
Ladka Muskurate Hue: “Haan, Tumhari Bahan Bhi Yehi Kehti Hai“

Sex Ka Aanad Kitna Achha Hota Hai

Ghar Mein Koi Na Hone Ki Wajah Se Malik Ne Apni Naukrani Ko Pakad Liya Aur Sex Karne Lag Gaya.
Thodi Der Tak Sex Karne Ke Baad Nokrani Boli: “Malik Anand Aa Raha Hai”
Malik Ne Ye Suna Aur Woh Aur Tez Tez Karne Laga.
Nokrani: “Mallllikkk Ananddd Aaaa Rahaa Hai”
Malik Aur Jyada Tezi Se Karne Lag Gaya.
Itne Mein Ek Awaj Aayi
Anand: “Main Aa Gaya, Papa“

Tu Kall Kyo Nahi Aayi?

Punjab Ke Ek Sarkari School Ke Teacher Ne Class Mein Ek Ladki Se Puchha.
Teacher: “Tu Kall Kyu Nahi Aayi Thi?”
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Sir, Kal Mujhe Tattiya Lag Gayi Thi”
Teacher Hairan Hote Hue: “Phir Kya Hua? Hame Bhi To Tatte Lage Hai Par Hum To Roj Aate Hai”

Andheri Rat Mein Sex Ka Sawad

Ek Ladka Aur Ladki Raat Ko Jungle Mein Sex Kar Rahe Hote Hai.
Ladki Ko Maja Dene Ke Liye Ladka Uski Choot Ko Chatne Lag Gaya.
15 Minute Baad Ladka Bola: “Agar Torch Hoti To Mazza Aa Jata”
Ladki Boli: “Mujhe Bhi, Kyun Ki 15 Minutes Se Tum Ghass Hi Chaat Rahe Ho“

Gaand Marwane Ki Service

Jay Nama Ka Banda To Aap Sabko Yaad Hi Hoga.
Vo Lund Ki Talash Mein Idhar-Udhar Ghumta Rahta Tha,
Ek Din Use Gand Marvane Ki Badi Talab Lagi Hoti Hai, Aur Vo Lund Ke Liye Idhar Udhar Bhatak Raha Hota Hai.
Ghumte-Ghumte Uski Nazar Ek Board Par Padti Hai, Jis Par Likha Hota Hai, “Aaiye, 500 Rupaye Mein Gand Marvaye”
Usko Padhte Hi Jay Ki Aankhon Mein Chamak Aa Jati Hai,
Sochta Hai Ab To Yahi Aaya Karunga Roz-Roz Kisi Ko Khojne Mein Bahut Samay Barbaad Hota Hai.
Jay Counter Par Ja Kar Bola Hai: “Mujhe Achhi Tarah Gand Marvani Hai”
Counter Par Baitha Aadmi Usse 500 Rupaye Le Leta Hai, Aur Counter Ki Khidki Band Kar Deta Hai.
Jay Bahar Chaar Ghante Intzaar Karta Hai, Lekin Counter Ki Khidki Nahi Khulti,
Jab Usse Raha Nahi Jata, To Gusse Mein Khidki Par Ja Kar Chillata Hai.
Counter Par Baitha Aadmi Khidki Kholta Hai Aur Puchta Hai: “Bataiye Main Aapki Kya Sewa Kar Sakta Hoon”
Jay Gusse Se Bhara Bolta Hai: “Suna Nahi, Mujhe Gand Marvani Hai”
Counter Par Baitha Aadmi Hairani Se Puchta Hai: “Kya Kaha, Phir Se Marvani Hai, Abhi Tak Man Nahi Bhara Kya?“

Aadmi Waha Ja Nahi Sakta?

Teacher Ne Class Mein Santa Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Aisi Konsi Jagha Hai Jise Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai, Par Phir Bhi Vo Wahan Nahi Ja Sakta?”
Santa Kuch Soch Ke: “Madam Ji, Ladies Toilet“

Khan Ko Chutiya Banati Hai Sali.

Khan Fauj Mein Tha, Kafi Time Ke Baad Ghar Aya To Dekha Ki Biwi Ek Chote Se Bache Ko God Mein Bitha Ke Doodh Pila Rahi Hai.
Khan Gusse Se Biwi Ko Bola: “Mere Bina Tu Pregnant Kaise Ho Gayi?”
Biwi Usko Bevkoof Banate Hue: “Ji, Main Roj Aapki Id Photo Ko Dekh Ke Mannat Mangti Thi”
Khan Gusse Se: “Sali, Mujhe Chutiya Samjhti Hai, Photo To Passport Size Ka Hai, Usmein Samaan Kidhar Hai?“

Isharo Ki Language Ki Problem

Pappu Bachpan Mein Bada Hi Shaitan Tha, Aur Badi Sharate Kiya Karta Tha
Ek Din Uske Rishtedari Mein Ek Shadi Thi, Santa-Preeto Iss Sharat Par Shaadi Mein Lekar Jate Hai Ki Wo Kisi Se Bolega Nahi,
Pappu Sharat Maan Kar Shadi Mein Aa Jata Hai, Aur Sharat Ke Mutabik Kisi Se Nahi Bolta,
Lekin Thodi Hi Der Mein Ek Aadmi Pappu Ki Shikayat Lekar Santa-Preeto Ke Paas Aa Jata Hai Aur Bolta Hai,
Aadmi: “Aapka Bachha Bahut Hi Gande-Gande Ishare Kar Raha Hai”
Santa: “Kis Tarah Ke Ishare Kar Raha Tha?”
Aadmi: “Pehle To Usne Hath Mein Lund Bana Kar Dikhaya, Phir Hath Mein Chut Bana Kar Dikhayi Aur Uske Baad Hath Se Chodne Ka Ishara Karne Laga”
Santa Ne Pappu Ko Bulaya Aur Usko Bahut Danta Aur Pucha: “Kya Gande-Gande Ishare Kar Raha Tha Be Tu?”
Pappu: “Main To Hath Se Lund Bana Kar Inse Puch Raha Tha Ki Aap Ladke Walo Ki Taraf Se Ho Kya?”
Jab Ye Kuch Nahi Bole To Mene Chut Bana Kar Pucha Ki Aap Ladki Walo Ki Taraf Se Ho Kya?
Jab Ye Dono Baar Mein Kuch Nahi Bole Tab Mene Inse Ishare Mein Pucha: “Jab Ladka Aur Ladki Kisi Bhi Side Se Nahi Ho To Yaha Kya Gand Marvane Aaye Ho?“

Oh Poor Embarrassed Lady

A Young Woman Had Given Birth In The Elevator Of A New Delhi Hospital, And Was Embarrassed About It.
One Of The Doctors, In An Effort To Console Her, Said: “Dont Feel Bad, Two Years Ago A Lady Delivered In The Front Yard Of The Hospital.”
The New Mother Burst Out Crying: “I Know, That Was Me, Too.”

Sex Ke Liye Konsa Time Sahi Hai?

Ek Aurat Sex Se Related Problem Leke Doctor Ke Pass Gayi.
Aurat: “Doctor Saab, Sex Ke Liye Konsa Time Sahi Hai?”
Doctor Kuch Sochkar: “Dophar 2 Se 4 Baje Tak”
Aurat Ne Hairan Hokar Puchha: “Wo Kyun?”
Doctor: “Kyunki Us Waqt Clinic Mein Koi Nahi Hota“

Ijjat Bachana Bahut Hi Mushkil Hai

Sholey Movie Mein Se Udaya Gaya Ek Aur Scene
Basanti Ke Piche Daku Pade Hue The, Usne Chilla Ke Dhanno Ko Kaha
Basanti: “Bhaag Dhanno Bhaag Meri Ijjat Khatre Mein Hai”
Dhanno: “Tujhe Apni Ijjat Ki Fikar Hai, Idhar Meri Bhi To Ijjat Khatre Mein Hai”
Basanti Hairani Se: “Arey Dhanno Kaise?”
Dhanno: “Daku Godo Par Hai Na“

Mallika Sherawat Ki Problem

Mallika Sherawat Badi Dukhi Si Hokar Apne Family Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli.
Mallika Sherawat: “Doctor Saab, Aajkal Bahut Thak Jati Hun, Lagta Hai Khoon Kam Ho Gaya Hai”
Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Pucha: “Periods Ke Waqt Kitna Loss Hota Hai?”
Mallika Sochte Hue: “Kam Se Kam 4-5 Lakh Rupaye Ka To Ho Hi Jata Hai“

Ab Roz Roz Condom Lagane Se Chutti

Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho
So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi
Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola
Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun”
Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“

Bhabhi Ji Se Double Meaning Baat Nahi Karni Chahiye

Ek Naai Ki Dukaan Ke Upar Ghar Tha.
Ek Din Ghar Ki Ek Aurat Ne Bahar Ki Taraf Apni Sadi Sukhne Ke Liye Dali.
Dukan Mein Andhera Ho Gaya To Naai Ne Jor Se Awaaz Lagayi.
Naai: “Bhabhi  Ji, Sadi Uper Utha Lo Mene Baal Kaatne Hai“

Qurbani Dene Se Kya Milega?

Ek Molvi Samne Bethe Kuch Budhe Logo Ko Updesh De Raha Tha
Molvi: “Qurbani Doge To Jannat Mein Jaaoge, Wahan Khoob Hoor Pariya Milengi”
Piche Betha Ek Budha Bola: “Par Molvi Ji, Vaha Viagra Kon Dega?“

Bandar Ne Sher Ki Gaand Mar Li

Ek Baar Sher Ke Man Mein Sex Karne Ki Aa Gayi To Wo Bander Ko Bola.
Sher: “Aaja Gand Maarna Khelte Hai”
Bander: “Pehle Main Marunga“
Sher Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bola: “Theek Hai”
Bander Ne Ek Ghante Tak Sher Ki Tasalli Se Maari Aur Maarne Ke Baad Bhaag Gaya.
Sher Ko Bada Gussa Aya Aur Vo Bhi Uske Piche Bhaag Liya.
Dhundte Dhundte Sher Ek Gaanv Mein Pahucha.
Wahaa Ek Aadmi Nahane Ki Taiyari Mein Apne Kapde Aur Newspaper Table Par Rakh Kar Nahane Chala Gaya.
Bander Ne Dekha Aur Uske Kapde Pahne Aur Newspaper Padne Ka Natak Karte Hue Table Par Beth Gaya.
Itne Mein Sher Bhaga-Bhaga Aaya Aur Bahar Bethe Bander Se Puchha.
Sher: “Aapne Kisi Bander Ko Jate Hue Dekha Hai?”
Bander: “Wahi Bander Na, Jisne Aapki Gaand Mari Hai?”
Sher Ke To Tote Udd Gaye Aur Hairani Se Bola: “Ji, Par Aap Ko Kaise Pata Chala”
Bander: “Akhbar Mein Headline Hai – Bander Ne Sher Ki Maar Li.“

Gareeb Hun To Kuch Bhi Bol Dega Kya?

Apne Baap Ke Marne Ke Baad Uska Beta Uski Jagha Gaanv Ka Chaudhary Bana
Ek Bar Vo Gaanv Mein Ghumne Nikla To Usko Ek Aadmi Dikha Jiski Shakal Us Se Milti Thi
Uska Majak Udhane Ke Liye Chaudhary Bola: “Lagta Hai Tumhari Maa Hamari Haveli Mein Naukrani Thi”
Aadmi Ne Badi Hi Ijjat Se Muskura Ke Jawab Diya
Aadmi: “Ji Nahi, Par Mere Pita Ji Aapki Haveli Mein Kaam Karte The“

Gaand Mar Dunga Sali Ki

Pathan Miya Biwi Mein Jagda Ho Raha Tha Aur Baat Gali Gloch Tak Aa Gayi Thi.
Pathan Tang Aakar Gusse Se Chillaya
Pathan: “Chup Kar Ja Haramjadi Nahi To Gaand Mar Dunga“
Biwi Rote Hue: “Yahi To Problem Hai, Aage Ki Sochte Nahi Ho Bas Piche Pade Rahte Ho“

Zindagi Luta Di Sirf Tere Liye.

Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.
Ek Din Minister Ka Najane Kya Mood Bana Or Usne Patni Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.
Minister: “Sach Sach Batao Tumne Hamare Sath Kitni Baar Bewafayi Ki Hai?”
Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: “Ji Sirf 3 Baar”
Minister Man Hi Man Mein Khush Hua Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki, Fir Bhi Usne Pucha
Minister: “Kab Kab”
Patni: “Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka Operation Hua Tha To Main Shehar Ke Sabse Bade Dr. Ko Manane Gayi Thhi”
Minister: “Hmm”
Patni: “Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein Band The Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The To Judge Ke Pass Gayi Thi”
Minister: “Aur Teesri Bar”
Patni Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur Aapke Pas 76 Mlas Kam The…“

Eent Ka Jawab Pathar Se Diya

Ek Baar Ek Amir Aadmi Apni Biwi Ko Five Star Hotel Mein Khana Khilane Le Jata Hai,
Order Dene Ke Kafi Der Baad Bhi Jab Khana Nahi Aaya To Tang Aakar Usne Waiter Ko Jaldi Khana Lane Ko Bola.
Waiter Abhi Leke Aata Hun Kah Kar Chala Jata Hai Par Phir Aadha Ganta Gujar Jata Hai
Ab Aadmi Tang Aakar Utha Aur Apni Biwi Ko Lekar Kisi Aur Hotel Mein Khana Khane Le Jane Laga.
Tabi Waiter Bill Lekar Aaya Aur Bola: “Sir Aapka Bill”
Aadmi Hairan Hokar: “Khana To Mene Khaya Nahi Phir Ye Bill Kis Baat Ka?”
Waiter Bola: “Khana Khao Ya Na Khao, Khana To Tayaar Hai”
Baat Jagde Tak Pahunch Jati Hai To Hotel Ka Manager Ye Sun Kar Aa Jata Hai Aur Bolta Hai,
Manager: “Sir, Khana Khao Ya Na Khao Par Khana To Tyaar Hai”
Aadmi Ye Sun Kar Manager Ko Do Thappad Maarta Hai Aur Bola: “Sale, Hotel Ke Malik Ko Bula”
Hotel Ka Malik Aajata Hai Aur Puchta Hai: “Aapne Mere Manager Ko Kyun Mara?”
Aadmi Bola: “Isne Meri Biwi Ko Cheda Tha”
Itna Sun Kar Manager Hairan Hokar Bola: “Mene Aapki Biwi Ko Kab Cheda?”
Aadmi: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ched Ya Mat Ched Wo To Tyaar Hai“

Moke Ka Fayda Is Tarha Se Uthaye

Rohit Mishra Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha.
Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi.
Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: “Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?”
Malik Bola: “Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha Apne Paas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.”
Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya.
Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo.
Rohit Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe Laga Ke Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai.
Wo Boli: “Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.”
Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha.
Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha.
Rohit Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya,
Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye.
Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski Behen Sab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The.
Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke Baad,
Rohit Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Jab Rohit Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi.
Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline Ki Dibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola
Baap: “Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun“

Moke Ka Fayda Is Tarha Se Uthaye

Rohit Mishra Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha.
Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi.
Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: “Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?”
Malik Bola: “Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha Apne Paas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.”
Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya.
Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo.
Rohit Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe Laga Ke Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai.
Wo Boli: “Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.”
Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha.
Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha.
Rohit Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya,
Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye.
Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski Behen Sab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The.
Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke Baad,
Rohit Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Jab Rohit Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi.
Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline Ki Dibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola
Baap: “Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun“

Doctor Ka Gussa Najayaz Tha

Santa Badi Roni Si Surat Bana Kar Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya
Rote Hue Doctor Ko Apni Problem Batane Laga
Santa: “Main Sidha Khada Hokar Halka Sa Jhuk Kar…
Apni Left Leg Ghutne Se Modkar Sidha Karta Hoon…
Fir Right Leg Ko Ghutne Se Modkar Sidha Karta Hoon…
Tab Kamar Mein Bahut Dard Hota Hai…”
Doctor Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Mein Bola: “Achha, Par Aisa Tu Apni Gaand Marwane Ke Liye Karta Hai?”
Santa: “To Bhosdi Ke Underwear Kaise Pehnu“

Baba Saxidas Ji Ki Beemari Aur Ilaaj

Ek Baar Baba Saxidas Bahut Hi Bimaar Pad Gaye Aur Unko Kaafi Doctors Ko Dhikhaya Par Koi Farak Nahi Pada.
Baba Ji Ke Ek Khaas Chele Ko Yaad Aaya Ki Baba Ji Ke Khas Hakeem Ji Hai, Unko To Abhi Tak Dikhya Hi Nahi Gaya.
Usne Hakeem Ko Bulvaya Aur Baba Saxidas Ki Halat Ke Bare Mein Bataya.
Hakeem Ne Baba Ji Ko Check Kiya Aur Bataya Ki Sex Na Karne Ki Vajah Se Andkosh Mein Virya Jam Gya Hai,
Aur Iska Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai Ki Baba Ji Kam Se Kam Teen-Chaar Din Jam Kar Sex Kare.
Ab Smasya Thi Ki Baba Ji Ko Ye Baat Kon Bataye, Himmat Kar Ke Chela Baba Ji Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Chela: “Baba Aapko Jo Bimaari Hui Hai Wo Bilkul Hi Theek Ho Jayegi”
Baba Saxidas: “Kya Dvaai Bataai Hai?”
Chela: “Baba Aapko Sirf Teen-Chaar Din Sex Karna Padega”
Baba Saxidas: “Ye Nahi Ho Sakta Main Baal-Brahmchari Hun”
Chela: “Lekin Baba Apni Health Ke Liye Ek Dava Ke Tor Par To Kar Hi Sakte Ho”
Baba Saxidas: “Nahi Ye Kaam Main Kisi Bhi Surat Mein Nahi Kar Sakta”
Chela Wapas Chala Jata Hai Aur Bada Pareshan Ho Jata Hai, Par Achanak Se Hi Usko Ek Idea Aata Hai Aur Wo Bhukh Hadtaal Par Beth Jata Hai.
Baba Ji Ko Ye Bat Pata Chali To Unhone Use Apne Pass Bulvaya.
Baba Saxidas: “Tum Bhukh Hadtaal Kyo Kar Rahe Ho?”
Chela: “Baba Ji Aap Apna Ilaaj Nahi Karwa Rahe To Ham Apne Praan Tyaag Denge”
Baba Saxidas: “Achha Theek Hai Main Apna Ilaaj Karwa Leta Hoon Par Uske Liye Kuch Sharte Hai”
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Aap Apni Sharte Bata De”
Baba Saxidas: “Jo Bhi Ladki Mere Sath Sex Ke Liye Lekar Aao Wo Andhi Honi Chahiye Taki Wo Hamein Dekh Na Sake”
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji”
Baba Saxidas: “Aur Wo Ladki Behri Bhi Honi Chahiye Taki Hamari Awaaz Ko Na Sun Sake”
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Wo Ladki Andhi Aur Behri Hogi”
Baba Saxidas: “Aur Wo Ladki Gungi Bhi Honi Chahiye Taki Kisi Bhi Tarah Is Sex Ke Bare Mein Kisi Ko Bata Na Sake”
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Wo Ladki Andhi, Behri Aur Gungi Hogi”
Baba Saxidas: “Ek Aur Sabse Jaruri Shart Bhi Hai Hamari”
Chela: “Wo Kya Hai Baba Ji?”
Baba Saxidas Chele Ko Ankh Marte Hue Bole: “Ladki Ek Dam Jhakkas Maal Honi Chahiye”

Sach Bolne Wala Nauker

Maalik Guuse Se Chillata Hua Naukar Ko Bola.
Maalik: “Tum Bathroom Mein Sidha Guss Aye, Kya Tumhe Pata Nahi Tha Ki Main Naha Raha Hun?”
Naukar Ghabrate Hue Bola: “Saab Ji Galti Ho Gayi, Main Samjha Tha Ki Madam Naha Rahi Hai“

Police Se Bachne Ki Tarkib, Khas Ashiqo Ke Liye

Police Ne Park Mein Do Ladke Aur Ek Ladki Ko Pakda,
Aur Pakad Ke Police Station Le Aaye Aur Inspector Ke Aage Pesh Kiya.
Inspector Ne Ek Ladke Se Puchha: “Kya Nam Hai Tera Aur Tu Udhar Kya Kar Raha Tha?”
Ladka Darte Darte Bola: “Sir, Mera Naam Rathee Hai Aur Main Bansuri Baja Raha Tha”
Inspector: “Ok, Tum Jao”
Fir Dusre Ko Bulaya Aur Us Se Puchha: “Tera Kya Naam Hai Be Aur Tu Udhar Kya Kar Raha Tha”
Ladka Ghabrate Hue: “Sir Ji, Mera Naam Nilesh Hai Aur Main Bhi Bansuri Baja Raha Tha”
Ispector: “Hmm, Chal Tu Bhi Ja”
Ab Inspector Ne Ladki Ko Bulvaya Aur Pucha: “Tum Bhi Bansuri Baja Rahi Thi Kya?”
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Nahi Ji, Mera Hi Naam Bansuri Hai“

Jasoos Pati Ki Jasoosi Kam Na Aayi

Ek Aadmi Apni Patni Par Bahut Shak Karta Tha Ki Uska Kisi Aur Ke Sath Chakkar Hai.
Lekin Patni Aisi Nahi Thi Phir Bhi Wo Aadmi Apni Patni Ko Roz Satata Aur Kehta,
Pati: “Main Bhi Bahut Bada Jaasoos Hun, Tera Pakka Bahar Kisi Ke Sath Chakkar Hai”
Preshan Ho Kar Patni Ne Apne Pati Ko Sabak Sikhane Ki Sochi, Usne Ek Jawan Pados Ke Ladke Se Dosti Ki,
Aur Pati Ki Chutti Wale Din Dopehar Ke Samaye Use Bula Kar Bathroom Mein Chupa Diya Aur Khud Rasoi Mein Aata Gunthne Lagi.
Aata Gunthte-Gunthte Bheech Mein Wo Apne Pati Ke Paas Aayi Aur Boli
Patni: “Mere Hathon Mein Aata Laga Hai Aur Mujhe Bohat Jor Se Peshab Aaya Hai, Jara Meri Salwaar Ka Nala Khol Do”
Pati Ne Uski Salwaar Ka Nala Khol Diya. Patni Bathroom Mein Chali Gayi, Thodi Dair Baad Phir Aayi Aur Apne Pati Se Boli,
Patni: “Mera Nala Bandh Do”
Pati Ne Salwaar Ka Nala Bandh Diya, Uske Baad Patni Boli,
Patni: “Bhonsdi Ke Apne Aap Ko Bada Jasoos Samjhte Ho, Ab Kaha Gayi Tumhari Jasoosi?”
Pati Hairan Ho Gaya Aur Usne Puchha: “Kyu Kya Hua?”
Patni Uska Majak Udate Hue: “Tumne Apne Hath Se Meri Salwaar Kholi, Main Bathroom Mein Apne Yaar Se Chudva Ke Aayi, Phir Tumne Hi Apne Hathon Se Meri Salwaar Bandhi, Tumhe Kuch Pata Chla Ki Main Apne Yaar Se Chud Aayi?“

Aalsi Pati Ke Bahane

Nayi Nayi Shadi Hone Ke Do Din Baad Pati Office Se Aya To Patni Aate Hi Boli.
Patni: “Sunte Ho Jara Washing Machine Ka Plug Badal Do Kaam Nahi Kar Raha”
Pati Bola: “Main Electrician Hun Kya?”
Patni Agle Din Phir Pati Ko Bolti Hai.
Patni: “Sunte Ho Jara Toonti Tapak Rahi Hai Thoda Ise Kas Do”
Pati Bola: “Main Koi Plumber Hoon Kya?”
Agle Din Fir Patni Bolti Hai
Patni: “Darwaja Kafi Hill Raha Hai Ismein Do Keel Hi Thok Do”
Pati Bola: “Main Koi Carpenter Hoon Kya?”
Agle Din Jab Wo Ghar Aata Hai To Dekhta Hai Ki Washing Machine, Tonti Aur Darwaja Teeno Hi Theek Ho Chuke The,
Aur Uski Patni Ne Use Koi Kaam Karne Ko Nahi Kaha To Wo Apni Patni Se Puchta Hai,
Pati: “Ye Teeno Cheezein Kaise Theek Hui?”
Patni Boli: “Samne Wale Padosi Ka Ladka Kisi Kaam Se Idhar Aaya Tha To Wo Bola Ki Wo Teeno Cheezon Ko Theek Kar Sakta Hai Par Uske Badle Mein Mujhe Use Chut Deni Padegi Ya Phir Achha Sa Cake Bana Kar Khilana Padega, Wo Hi Ye Teeno Cheezein Theek Kar Ke Gaya Hai”
Pati Bola: “Hmm, To Fir Tumne Use Kon Sa Cake Bana Kar Khilaya?”
Patni Boli: “Cake? Kaisa Cake? Main Koi Cook Hoon Kya?“

What Is That?

Rambha Has Big,
Simran Has Small,
Girls Have,
Boys Do Not Have,
What Is That?
The Answer Is Alpabet ‘R‘

Jaat Paat Mein Kya Rakha Hai?

Ek Baar Teen Aadmi Jinko Apni Jaati (Cast) Maloom Nahi Thi, Sawami Lunnacharya Ke Paas Jate Hai Aur Bole.
Sawami Ji Hum Teeno Ko Hamari Jaati Maloom Nahi Hai, Kripa Karke Hamari Jaat Bata Dijiye.
Ab Apne Sawami Ji The To Tharki Hi, Kafi Dino Se Koi Aurat Nahi Fasi Thi To Socha Ki Aj Inse Hi Kam Chala Leta Hu
Sawami Ji Bole Ki Tum Teeno Apne Kapde Utar Kar Khade Ho Jaao.
Sabse Pahle Ka Number Aaya, Sawami Bole: “Beta, Tere Aage Baal Nahi Hai, Piche Khadde Mein Baal Hai To Tu Khandelwal Hai”
Ab Dusre Ka Number Aaya, Sawami Ji Bole: “Beta, Tere Khadde Mein Baal Nahi Hai Aage Baal Hai To Tu Agrawal Hai”
Ab Teesre Ka Number Aaya, Sawami Ji Ne Dekha Ki Na Uske Aage Baal Hai Aur Na Hi Peeche.
To Sawami Ji Ne Uski Gaand Marna Shuru Kar Diya, Wo Aadmi Bola: “Sawami Ji, Bahut Dukhta Hai”
To Sawami Lunnacharya Bole: “Beta, Fir Tu Gupta Hai“

Raat Ko Sex Achha Hota Hai?

Pati Ko Neend Nahi Aa Rahi Thhi Aur Bechaini Se Karvate Badal Raha Tha.
Akhir Raha Na Gaya To Biwi Se Bola.
Pati: “Janu, Mujhe Neend Nahi Aa Rahi Hai, Thoda Sa Sex Ho Jaye?”
Biwi Khud Kisi Baat Pe Pareshan Thi, Ye Sun Kar Bhadak Kar Boli.
Biwi: “Kyu Madharchod, Meri Chut Mein Kya Neend Ki Goliya Bhari Hai Jo Tujhe Neend Aa Jayegi?“

Then Who Are You?

A Lady On Phone: “Hello Sushl , Sir I Want To Meet & Talk To You. You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids.”
Stunned & Shocked Man Screamed: “Oh My God, I Am Married And So Careful With Modern Prevention Tactics And How Could This Happen To You? You Can Ruin Me, Are You Sonam?”
Lady Replied: “No”
Man: “Anjali”
Lady: “No, No”
Man: “Rashii?”
Lady: “No, No, No”
Man: “Harsha?”
Lady: “No, No, No, No”
Man: “Priya?”
Lady: “No…………………….Ooooooo”
Lady In Confusion: “Sir, I Am The Class Teacher Of Your Son“

Arrey Wah, Aaj To Bhudapa Pension Mil Hi Gayi

Pati Khushi Khushi Ghar Aya Aur Biwi Ko Awaj Dekar Bola.
Pati: “Arey Rahul Ki Maa Sunti Ho, Mujhe Seene Ke Safed Baal Dikhane Pe Bhudapa Pension Mili Hai”
Biwi: “Pant Ki Zip Khol Ke Dikha Dete To Viklaang Bhatta Bhi Mil Jaata“

Sachi Dosti Ka Ek Example

Golu & Molu Bahut Achhe Dost Thhe Par Achanak Ek Hi Din Dono Mar Jate Hai Aur Ikathe Narak Mein Pahunchte Hai.
Golu Ne Molu Ko Dekha Aur Hairan Hote Hue Pucha.
Golu: “Abe Tu Kaise Mara?”
Molu: “Thand Se, Aur Tu?”
Golu: “Mene Aatam Hatya Ki”
Molu: “Kyu Be, Tu To Achha Bhala Tha Aur Khusi Se Jee Raha Thha?”
Golu: “Yaar, Mujhe Laga Meri Biwi Ka Kisi Se Affair Hai, Ek Din Shaq Hone Pe Chaapa Maara Par Koi Nahi Tha, Sharm Ke Mare Maine Aatm-Hatya Kar Li”
Molu Ne Golu Ko Zor Se Thapad Mara Aur Bola.
Molu: “Bhonsdi Ke Agar Fridge Khol Ke Dekha Hota, To Na Tu Sharm Se Marta Aur Na Mein Thand Se“

Nari To Hai Nark Ka Dwar

Kisi Bahut Bade Vidwan Aur Bramhchari Ne Kaha Hai
Nari Nari Mat Kar Murkh, Nari To Hai Nark Ka Dwar.
Nari Nari Mat Kar Murkh, Nari To Hai Nark Ka Dwar.
Kush Bhi Hogi To Kya Degi, Mal Mutra Ka Dwar.
Plz Ladkiyon Naraz Mat Hona It’s Just A Joke But I Like That Dwar Very Much.

Allah Meharban To Gadha Pehalwan

Do Mulle Aapas Mein Padosi The, Ek Din Ek Ne Dusre Se Puchha
Pahla Mulla: “Yaar, Tumhare 10 Bachhe Kaise?”
Dusra Mulla: “Kuch Nahi Sab Allah Ka Hath Hai”
Pahla Mulla Uske Niche Dekh Kar Bola: “Abe Lungi Theek Kar, Allah Ka Hath Dikh Raha Hai“

Tharki Pandij Ji, Sawad Kam Lo

 

Ek Moti Aurat Mandir Mein Mannat Mangne Gayi.
Usne Mandir Mein Matha Tekne Ke Baad Pandit Se Kaha.
Aurat: “Pandit Ji, Main Aaj Idhar Bahut Badi Aas Leke Aayi Hun”
Pandit: “Haan Ji Mene Dekha, Jab Aap Matha Tek Rahe The

Achhi Aur Buri Ladki Mein Farak

What Is The Difference Between Good Girl And Bad Girl?
Good Girl Ghar Ja Kar Soti Hai Aur Bad Girl So Kar Ghar Jati Hai.
Good Girl Mandir Jati Hai Aur Bad Girl Mandir Ke Pichhe Jati Hai.
Good Girl Bolti Hai “Dinner Ke Liye Shukriya”, Bad Girl Bolti Hai “Subha Nashte Mein Kya Hai”
Good Girls Loosen A Few Buttons When It’s Hot, Bad Girls Make It Hot By Loosening A Few Buttons.
Good Girls Never Consider Sleeping With The Boss, Bad Girls Never Do Either, Unless He’s Very, Very Rich.
Good Girls Say, “No, Bad Girls Say, “When?”
Good Girls Only Own One Credit Card And Rarely Use It, Bad Girls Only Own One Bra And Rarely Use It.

Bhaag D.K. Bhaag

Ek Ladke Ka Naam Deepak Kumar Tha. Is Liye Sab Use D.K. Keh Kar Bulate The.
Ek Baar Usne Apne School Ki Race Mein Participate Liya.
Uske Pitaji Bhi Race Dekne Aaye The. Jaise Hi Race Shuru Hui Uske Pitaji Chilane Lage: “Bhag D.K. Bhag D.K.”
To School Ki Principal Boli: “Ye English Medium School Hai Yaha Par Sirf English Bolo”
To Uske Pitaji Kuch Sochne Ke Baad Bole: “Run D.K. Run D.K. Run D.K.“

Darr Ke Aage Hi Jeet Hai

Santa Banta Ek Din Samunder Ke Kinare Ghoom Rahe The.
Achanak Se Ek Nangi Angrejan Ladki Unke Aage Aa Gayi.
Santa Ne Use Dekha Aur Dekhte Hi Dar Ke Baag Gaya.
Banta Ghar Aya To Usne Dare Hue Santa Se Puchha
Banta: “Oye, Tu Nangi Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Bhag Kyun Gaya Tha?”
Santa Rote Hue: “Maa Kahti Hai, Nangi Ladki Ko Dekhne Se Patthar Ban Jaoge, Aur Mera Ek Hissa Kadak

Priye Tumhe Kya Ghum Hai?

Ek Mota Bijli Wala Apni Biwi Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Tha.
Par Uski Patni Khush Nahi Dikh Rahi Thhi, Kuch Der Ye Dekhne Ke Baad Usne Pucha.
Mistri: “Bolo Priye Tumhe Kya Ghum Hai?”
Patni: “Swami Ji, Load Jyada Aur Voltage Kam Hai“

Ek Dhamaka Offer

Dhamaka Offer… Dhamaka Offer… Dhamaka Offer…
Purana Underwear Do, Aur Naya Underwear Le Jao.
Naye Underwear Ke Sath Sath, Ek Lund Bhi Free Le Jaye,
Pehle 50 Khush Naseebon Ki Gaand Bhi Free Mein Maari Jayegi.

Bachhe Bahlana Itna Asaan Nahi Hai Ab

Ek Doctor Muslim Bache Ke Khatne Ke Liye Aaya.
Bachhe Ka Dhayan Bhatkane Ke Liye Doctor Ne Usko Bola.
Doctor: “Beta, Wo Dekho Upar Sone Ki Chidiya”
Bachha Gusse Se Bola: “Chidiya Gayi Maa Chudane, Tu Niche Dekh, Tatte Mat Kaat Diyo“

English Juban Ki Problem

Ek Dakiye Ki Nokari Ke Akhiri Din Thha, Vo Ek Ghar Mein Chithi Dene Gaya.
To Ghar Ki Malkin Ne Use Ander Bulaya Nashta Karvaya Aur, Khane Ke Baad Bister Pe Le Jake Tasalli Baksh Sex Kiya.
Uske Baad Usne Use 100/- Rupaye Diye.
Dakiya Bechare Ne Hairan Pareshan Ho Kar Aurat Se Pucha: “Hey Bhagwaan, Ye Sab To Bahut Achha Raha, Lekin Ye 100/- Rupaye Kisliye?”
Aurat Ne Muskurate Hue Jawab Diya: “Vo Aaj Aapki Naukri Ka Akhiri Din Tha To Mene Apne Pati Se Pucha Tha Ki Aapke Liye Kya Karna Chahiye”
To Pati Bole: “Fuck Him, Use 100/- Rupaye Dedo, Par Nashte Ka Vichar Mera Tha“