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Sunday 30 October 2011

Ungali Ka Sawad

Shadi Ki Pehli Raat Pati Apni Patni Ki Choot Ke Andar Ek Ungli Dalta Hai.
Patni Sharmate Hue Kehti Hai: “Ek Ungli Aur Dalo Na
Pati: “Kyun Tune Seeti Bajani Hai?

Desh Ne Tarakki Kaya Khak Karni Hai

Ek Pagal Nanga Bazaar Mein Khulla Ghum Raha Tha. Uska Lund Bahut Bada Tha
Ek Lady Ne Dekha Aur Boli: “Yeh Mulk Taraqi Kya Khak Karega, Saare Kaam Ke Aadmi Toh Pagal Hain

Jadugarani Mummy

Pehla Bacha: “Meri Mummy Jadu Karna Jaanti Hai Jab Wo Papa Key Lund Ko Pakadti Hai To Lund Bahut Bada Ho Jata Hai“.
Doosra Bacha Bola: “Ye Kaun Si Badi Baat Hain Meri Mummy Jab Mere Dad Ke Lund Per Bethti Hai Toh Sara Lund Gayab Ho Jata Hain.

Gunn Toh Milenge Hi

On The First Wedding Night.
Husband: Look Darling Before Marrige I Had Affair With 20 Girls”
Wife Replied: “Janu Kundli Milli Hai To Gunn To Millenge Hi Na

“Handle With Care

Ek Din Ek Sardar Ne Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Jiski T-Shirt Par Likha Thha
Handle With Care
Agle Din Usne Apni Jeans Ke Aage Likhva Liya
Candle With Hair

Esi Baatein Bhoolni Nahi Chahiye

Girlfriend & Boyfriend Hotel Mein Sex Karne Ke Liye Gaye
Jaisi Hi Vaha Jake Ladki Ne Jeans Utari To Panty Mein Se Hariyali Najar Aayi
Ladke Ne Gabrate Hue Puchha: “Abe Ye Kya Hai??
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Oh Shittt, Raat Ko Mooli Nikalana Hi Bhool Gayi

Bachhe Ka Naam Kya Hoga

Sex Ke Waqt Ladki Apni Tange Faila Ke Boyfriend Se Puchti Hai.
Ladki: “Hamare Bache Ka Naam Kya Hoga?
Ladka Condom Pehan Ke Bola: “Iske Baad Bhi Ho Gaya To Jaadu Rakhenge

Chinki Ka Idea, What An Idea Sir Ji

Chinki Ne Apne Boyfriend Ko Gusse Mein Aake SMS Kiya
Balance Nahi Hai? Ek Bhi SMS Nahi Kar Rahe Ho? Nasbandi Karva Lo, Sarkar 1200/-Degi.
Fir Balance Dal Lena Aur Khub Message Karna
What An Idea Sir Ji

Saturday 29 October 2011

Baba Ji Ki Goliyaan

Doctor Ek Budhe Ko Bata Raha Thha: “Baba Ji Aapki Niche Ki Dono Goliyan* (Balls) Nikaalni Padengi
Budha: “Nikal De Beta Jab Bandook Hi Nahi Chalti To Goliyaan Kis Kaam Ki

What Is The Best Family Planning Slogan?

Q: What Is The Best Family Planning Slogan On A Municipal Bus?
A: Kirpya Karke Aage Se Nahi Peeche Se Chadiye.

Mobile Stuck In Vagina

One Day A Girl Visit His Family Doctor And Said:  “My Cellphone Got Stuck In My Vagina Since Last 4 Days And Its In Vibration Mode.
Doctor: “Ok, I Will Remove It Easily By A Small Operation.”
Girl Shout: “No, No Just Recharge The Battery.

Sher Ka Pinjra 10 Rs Ka

Ek Banda Zor Zor Se Chila Ke Product Bech Raha Thha
Sher Ka Pinjra 10 Rs Mein Lo, Sher Ka Pinjra 10 Rs Mein Lo
Logo Ne Uske Pass Ja Kar Daikha To Vo Underware Bech Raha Thha

Hairaan Karun Ya Pareshan Karun

Shadi Ki Raat Santa Says: “Bataao Hairan Karu Ya Pareshan Karu?”
Jeeto: Dono.
He Shows His Tiny 1 Inch Penis & Says: Kyun Dekh Ke Hairani Hui?
Jeeto Surprised: Ji Hui.
Santa: Ab Pareshan Karoon?
Jeeto: Ji Karo

Santa: Yeh Erect Hai!

Do You Talk To Your Wife After Sex?

Question To A Husband: “Do You Talk To Your Wife After Sex?
Answer: Depends, If I Can Find A Phone.

Sardar Ji Aur 3 Ladkiyaan

Ek Train Mein Teen College Ki Ladkiya Bethi Thhi,
Ek Punjabi Jatt Aaya Aur Bola: “Aapka Naam?
Pehli Boli: Salma Behan
Doosri Boli: Sarita Behan
Teesri Boli: Meena Behan
Fir Ladkiyo Ne Poocha: “Aapka Naam?

Jatt Bola: “Shinda Behan Chod

What Is Condom?

Ek Din Ek Bete Ne Apne Daddy Se Puchha: “Daddy Condom Kya Hota Hai?
Daddy: “Chal Bhaag Mujhe Nahi Pataa
Beta: “Tabhi To Hum 11 Bhai Behan Hai

Mera Number Kab Aayega

A Police Man Saw Santa Fucked A Girl In The Car,
Policeman: “Kyon Santa Gi Akele-Akele Mera Number Kab Aayega?
Santa: “Bas, Ladki Ke Baad

Master Se Badla

Masterji: “Pappu, A,B,C,D, Se Shuru Hone Wala Ek Sentence Banao?
Pappu: “Sir….
Masterji: “Haan Haan Batao Ghabrao Nahi.
Pappu: “Apki Behan Chod Dunga

Lund Agar Aur Khubsurat Hota To Kya Hota?

Ek Ladki Bhagwan Se Prathna Kar Rahi Thhi Aur Mang Rahi Thhi.
Ladki: “Hey Bhagwan! Please Ladko Ka Lund Thoda Khubsoorat Banado
Bhagwan Ji Parkat Hue Aru Gusse Se Bole.
Bhagwan Ji: “Itna Ganda Banane Par To Chooss Leti Ho, Achha Banane Par Toh Kha Hi Jaogi

Wednesday 26 October 2011

Truth About Kumble & Sachin

Why Sachin Married An Elder & Kumble Married A Divorced Woman?
Answer: “Batsmen Love Looseballs & Spinners Love Used Balls

Girlfriend Ki Tariff Shayrana Andaz Mein

Chodumal Sahab Ne Apne Dost Ki Girlfriend Ki Tarif Karte Hue Sher Arz Kiya
Hatho Mein Jaam Hai, Galon Pe Gulfaam Hai,
Bhonsdi Ke Tujhe Kya Zarurt Hai Dudh Ki Jab,
Teri Girlfriend Ke Sine Par Do-Do Dairy Farm Hai

A Different Kind of Fantasy

One Day A Nun Was Standing On The Side Of The Road Waiting For A Cab.
A Cab Stopped And Picked Her Up. During The Ride She Noticed That The Driver Was Staring At Her.
When She Asked Him Why, He Said, “I Want To Ask You Something, But I Don’t Want To Offend You.
She Said, “You Can’t Offend Me. I Have Been A Nun Long Enough That I Have Heard Just About Everything.
The Cab Driver Then Said, “Well, I’ve Always Had A Fantasy To Have A Nun Give Me A Blow Job.
She Said, “Well, Perhaps We Can Work Something Out Under Two Conditions. You Have To Be Single, And You Have To Be Catholic.”
Immediately The Cab Driver Said, “Oh, Yes! I’m Single And I’m Catholic!
The Nun Said, “Okay, Pull Into That Alley.
The Cab Driver Pulled Into The Alley And The Nun Went To Work. Shortly Afterwards, The Cab Driver Started Crying.
The Nun Said, “My Child, What’s The Matter?
He Said Tearfully, “Sister, I Have Sinned. I Lied, I Lied…I’m Married And I’m Jewish!
The Nun Replied, “That’s Okay. My Name’s Jai And I’m On My Way To A Costume Party!

Tauba Tauba, Ghor Kalyug

Bus Stop Ke Khadi Ek Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Ek Ladka Uske Pass Gaya Aur Bola.
Ladka: “Apni Chut Do Na
Ladki Kuch Nahi Bolti Hai
Ladka Fir Kehta Hai: “Apni Chut Do Na
To Ladki Fir Kuch Nahi Bolti Hai
To Ladke Ko Gussa Aa Jata Hai Aur Bola: “Madherchod Gungi Hai Kya, Bol Nahi Sakti
Ladki Gusse Se: “Tum Apahij Ho Kya Chod Nahi Sakte

Chudayi Ke Do Important Rules

Baba Saxidas Ne Chudakkad Logo Ke Liye Chudayi Ke Do Important Rules Bataye Hai
Pehli Baar Iss Tarah Se Chodo Jese Dusri Baar Kabhi Milegi Nahi,
Dusri Baar Iss Tarah Se Chodo Jese Pehle Kabhi Choda Hi Nahi.
Jo Bhakat Is Rule Ko Apnayenge Vo Sex Ka Bharpoor Ananad Uthayenge

Adaab Arz Hai, Iss Shayari Par

Boy To Girl:
Ghulab Aisa Ho Jiss Mein Kaatein Na Ho,
Larki Ki Chut Aisi Ho Jis Mein Jhaate Na Ho.
Girl To Boy:
Gulab Khareedne Wale Kaatein Nahi Dekhte,
Ladki Ko Chodne Wale Jhaate Nahi Dekhte

Call Girl Ka Janaza

Ek Call Girl Ka Janaza Nikla, To Usse Dekh Ke Ek Admi Bola.
Aadmi: “Chalo Acha Hua Aakhir Aapas Mein Dono Milli To Sahi
Kisi Ne Pocha: “Kon Dono?
Wo Bola: “Uski Tangain

Nonveg Song, Santa Aur Uski Wife Ka

Santa Touched Preeto’s Boobs & Sung
Piyo Glass Full Doodh, Wonderful Doodh
Preeto Touched His Penis & Said
Thanda Matlab Chota Coke

Sunday 23 October 2011

Gaandu ka dimag

Ek Bus Mein Roj Ek Khubsurat Si Ladki Jaati Thhi,
Ek Din Ek Hatta Katta Neegro Bus Mein Chada Aur Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Uski Iccha Hui Ki Iske Sath Sex Karu.
Par Usko Samajh Na Aya Ki Vo Kya Kare, So Usne Bus driver Se Puchha Ki Mene Iske Sath Sex Karna Hai Koi Idea Do.
Bus driver Bola: “Ye Ladki Jesus Ko Manti Hai Aur Har Sunday Church Mein Jati Hai, Tu Jesus Ke Kapde Aur Mask Pahan Ke Isko Mill Aur Jo Bolega Vo Ye Kar Legi.
Neegro Ko Idea Pasand Aya Aur Usne Aisa Hi Kiya, Ladki Jab Prayer Kar Rahi Thhi To  Neegro Peeche  Se Nikal Ke Aya Aur Bola
Neegro: “I Am God, Mene Tumhari Prayer Suni Aur Main Usko Pura Bhi Karunga Par Pahle Tumhe Mere Sath Sex Karna Hoga
Ladki Ne Kuch Socha Aur Maan Gayi Par Boli: “Main Sirf Anal Sex Karungi Kyunki Main Apni Virginity Barkar Rakhna Chahti Hu
Neegro Ne Socha Ki Something Is Better Then Nothing, To Vo Maan Gaya.
Dogy Style Mein Sex Ka Pura Maja Lene Ke Baad Aadmi Ladki Par Se Utra Aur Bola.
Ha Ha I M The Neegro
Ladki Ne Bhi Apne Chehre Se Mask Utara Aur Boli
Ha Ha I Am The Bus Driver
"Bus driver was a GAY"

Ek Sansani Khej Khabar

Ek Ladka Aur Ladki Raat Ke Andhere Mein,
Jhariyo Ke Piche Chupp Ke, Daba Daba Ke,
Chuskiya Le Le Ke, Chus Chus Ke Frooti Pee Rahe Thhe
Tum Logo Ne Kya Socha Thha? Bas Vohi Kaam Bachha Hai?

Pathan Ki Suhagrat Aisi Rahi

Ek Pathan Ki Shadi Hui, To Agle Din Uske Dosto Ne Puchha
Dost: “Kaho Pathan Sahab, Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?
Pathan Khush Hote Hue: “Amma Kya Bataye, Pahli Baar Kisi Nangi Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Teen Bar Muth Maari

Kare Koi Aur Bhare Koi

Ek Chuha Jungle Mein Badi Tezi Se Bhaaga Ja Rahe Thha
Lomdi Ne Dekha Aur Uske Aage Aake Khadi Ho Gayi Aur Puchha
Lomdi: “Itne Teji Se Kaha Bhage Ja Rahe Ho?
Chuha: “Aunty Please Abhi Jane Do Fir Bataunga
Lomdi Hairani Hui Aur Boli: “Arey Hua Kya Hai?
Chuha Hath Jodte Hue: “Please Jane Do Meri Jaan Ka Sawal Hai
Lomdi Gusse Se Boli: “Main Tumhe Tab Tak Nahi Jane Dungi Jab Tak Bataoge Nahi Ki Hua Kya Hai
Chuha Rote Hue: “Kisi Ne Sher Ki Bahan Ki Choot Fad Dali Aur Naam Mera Laga Diya Hai

Jaisi Ko Taisa, Isse Kahte Hai

Ek Ladke Ne College Mein Chinki Ko Dialog Maara.
Ladka: “Andheri Raat Mein Diya Tere Hath Mein.
Chinki: “Kyaaaa?
Ladka Muskurate Hue: “Achhi Film Hai Naa.!
Chinki: “Teri Bahan Ki Choot.
Ladka Hairani Se: “Whattttt?”
Chinki: “Bahut Laal Hai Naa …?

Saturday 22 October 2011

Why Do 99 percent Of Girls Have A Bigger Left Boob?

Why Do 99 percent Of Girls Have A Bigger Left Boob?
Because, 99 percent Of The Boys Are Right Handed…

curious husband

In A Hospital A Lady after delivering a baby was getting some Stitches.
The curious husband was sitting outside. After some time he look inside through the window and then knocked and asked shyly:  “Doctor, Pura toh nahi siloge na?

Haath Mein Kitni Fingers Hoti Hain?

Teacher To Johny: “Haath Mein Kitni Fingers Hoti Hain?
Johny: “Sir Six
Teacher: “Bhosri Ke Tujhe Kitni Bar Bola Hai Pant Se Hath Bahar Nikaal Kar Count Kiya Kar”

You Are Like A Mobile Phone

During Sexual Session The Girl Says: “Dear You Are Like A Mobile Phone
Boy: “Do I Vibrate A Lot?
Girl: “No, But When You Get In To The Tunnel You Loose Network

Common Between A Girl’s Legs N Amul Butter?

Golu Asks Pappu
Golu: “What Is Common Between A Girl’s Legs And Amul Butter?
Pappu: “Simple, Both Are Delicious When Spread

Thursday 20 October 2011

Suhagraat Ka Hisaab

Shadi Ki Pehli Raat Ko Husband Apni Wife Ko 500 Rupees De Kar Bola,
Hum Ne Yeh Kaam Kabhi Free Mein Nahi Kiya
Wife 200 Rupees Wapis Karke Boli Aur Humne Kabi 300 Se Zayada Nahi Liya

Biwi Mehngi To Nahi Padd Rahi

Ek Banda Roj Kothe Pe Jake Rate Malum Karta Thha Aur Vapis Aa Jata Thha
Ek Din Uske Dost Ne Usse Puchha: “Jab Tu Kuch Karta Hi Nahi Hai To Rate Kyun Puchhta Hai
Jawab Aaya: “Yaar Mein Check Karta Hun Kahin Biwi Mehngi To Nahi Padd Rahi

Kid Peeps Into His Parents’ Bedroom

A Kid By Chance Peeps Into His Parents’ Bedroom At Night And Shocked At What He Sees!
He Shouts At His Mom: “And You Punish Me For Just Sucking The Thumb” !!!

Ladki Ki Salary Aur Kamayi

Ladki Dekhne Ke Liye Ladke Wale Ladki Walo Ke Ghar Gaye.
Ladke Wale: “Hamara Beta PWD Mein Cleark Hai. 5000 Salary Hai Aur Uppar Se 25000 Kamaata Hai.
Ladki Wale: “Hamari Beti Nurse Hai. 3000 Salary Hai Aur Neeeche Se 30000 Kamaati Hai.”

Master Ji Ki Pant Ki Zip

Hindi Ki Class Mein Master Ji Ki Pant Ki Zip Khhuli Dekh Kar Ladkiyaan Zor Zor Se Husne Lagi.
Master Ji Bole: “Zyaada Hehe Ki To Bahar Nikal Ke Khada Kar Dunga

Sardar Ji, Aapko Logo Ne Kyun Maara?

Sardar Ji, Aapko Logo Ne Kyun Maara???
Sardar: “Arey Yaar Meri Photo Bus Mein Gir Gayi Thhi, Maine Kaha Madam Zara Saari Upar Karna Maine Photo Lena Hai

Bansuri To Bahut Choti Hai

Sex Ke Baad Callgirl Customer Se Boli: “Tumari Bansuri To Bahut Hi Choti Hai
Customer: “Mujhe Thodi Pata Tha Ke, Stadium Mein Bajaani Padegi

Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi

Sardar Doodhwale Se: “Yaar Tum Do Din Se Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe??
Doodhwala: “Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi
Sardar: “To Koi Baat Nahi! Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate!

Kaunsa Mahina Chal Raha Hai

Ek Bar Ek Mote Sardar Ji Ko Badi Teji Se Toilet Aya Par Jese Hi Vo Gents Toilet Mein gaya To Vo Full Tha..
To Usne Apne Baal Khole Aur Ladies Toilet Mein Guss Gaya.. Aur Toilet Pe Beth Gaya..
Itne Mein Ek Lady Aayi Usne Uska Pet Foola Dekh Kar Pucha Ki “Behan Kaunsa Mahina Chal Raha Hai
Sardar Ji Bole: “Daswa (10th)”
Lady: “Tabhi To Bachhe Ki Tang Bahar Aa Gayi Hai

A Punjabi Bra Advertisment

Har Kuri Di Pehli Te Akhiri Pasand *Preeto Bra*.
Hun 6 Sizaan Wich Available,
1. Small
2. Medium
3. Large
4. Balle Balle
5. Hai Oye Rabba
6. Oh Teri Bhen Di. . .

Oh My God, What The Hell is Going On

A Kid Saw His Mother Messing With Make Up On Her Face And She Said: “Shit
And Kid Asked To His Mother What Is “Shit?
Then His Mother Answered: “It Is Second Word For Makeup.
Then He Saw His Sister Talking On Phone About Condoms.
When Kid Asked Her: “What Is A Condom?
Then Sister Replied: “It Is Second Word For Clothes
After Few Minutes, Kid Saw His Father Was Cutting A Chicken.
When He Cuts His Finger & Said Fuck, Kid Asked: “What Is Fuck?
Father Said To His Son: “It Is Second Word For Cutting
Suddenly Door Bell Rang Kid Opened The Door And His Grandmother Came In & Asked Grandson: “Where Is Everyone?
Then Kid Said Happily: “Mom Is Upstairs Putting Shit On Her Face, Sister Is Putting Condoms On & Daddy Is Fucking The Chicken

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Heart Ki Kitni Legs Hoti Hai?

Son: Papa Heart Ki Kitni Taangein Hoti Hain?
Father: Ek Bhi Nahi Puttar, Kyu??
Son: To Phir Kal Raat Aap Kyu Bol Rahe Thhe, “Sweet Heart Taangein Uppar Karo

2 Gay Ladke Ek Khubsurat Larki Ko Dekh Kar Kya Bole???

Q: 2 Gay Ladke Ek Khubsurat Larki Ko Dekh Kar Kya Bole???
A: Yaar Agar Ladki Aisi Hai To Uska Bhai Kaisa Hoga ???

Saand Saal Mein Kitni Bar Sex Karta Hai

Biwi Husband Se: Ek Saand Saal May 300 Bar Sex Hai, Lekin Tum Is Ka 10% Bhi Nahi Karte
Husband: Sahi hai, Par Ye Kahaan Likha Hai Ki Saand Ek Hi Cow Ke Saath 200 Bar Sex Karta Hai.

Answers Of Little Johny

One Girl Ask To Johny : Woh Kya Hai Jo Cow Ke Paas To Four Hai Par Mere Pass Two?
Johny: Legs
Girl : Woh Kya Hai Jo Tumhari Jeans Mein To Hai Par Meri Jeans Mein Nahi?
Johny: Paisi
Girl : Woh Kya Hai Jo Log Din Mein Karne Ki Jagha Raat Ko Bistar Par Karte Hain?

Women’s Voices During Sex By Different Countries..

Usa : Yeah…..Yeah….
Uk : C’mon Baby…..
India: Uyi Maa Mar Gayi…
Pak : Bas Karo Shaikh Sahab Savere Tattiya Band Nahi Hongi….

Deewana Aur Uska Sher

Shaam Diyo Se Sajaye Bethe Hai,
Khushbu Badan Pe Lagaye Bethe Hai,
Hamari Deewangi Ka Alam To Dekho, Wo Raat Ko Aanewale Hai
Aur Hum Dopahar Se Hi Condom Chadaye Bethe Hai

Rs. 10000/- Ka Handbag

Lady: “Itna Chota Sa Handbag 10000/- Ka? Itna Mehnga Kyun
Shopkeeper: “Behanji, Ye Khalis Lund Ki Chamdi Ka Bana Handbag Hai, Thoda Sa Haath Pher Te Hi Suitcase Ban Jayega..

I Am Black, You Are White. Why?

Boy: Mommy, Why Iam Black & Ur White?
Mom: “Listen Son, Considering All The Crazy Things I Did Years Ago, You Should Be Thankful To God That You Are Not Barking..!!”

How About The Ones Like Mine?”

Wife: “I Dreamt They Were Auctioning Off Dicks. The Big Ones Went For Ten Dollars And The Thick Ones Went For Twenty Dollars.
Husband: “How About The Ones Like Mine?
Wife: “Those They Gave Away.
Husband: “I Had A Dream Too…I Dreamt They Were Auctioning Off Cunts. The Pretty Ones Went For A Thousand Dollars, And The Little Tight Ones Went For Two Thousand.
Wife: “And How Much For The Ones Like Mine?
Husband: “That’s Where They Held The Auction.

Biwi Ho To Aisi

Patni Ne Pati Ko Naukrani Ke Sath Sex Karte Dekh Liya.
Pati Ko To Kuch Na Boli Par, Naukrani Ko Akele Mein Le Gayi
Bechari Naukari Darte Hue Rone Lag Gayi Aur Hath Jod Ke Boli.
Naukrani: “Bibi Ji Maaf Kar Do, Sahab Ne 500 Rs Ka Lalach Diya Thha
Malkin: “Vo Chhod, Tujhe 1000 Rs Dungi, Bas Ye Bata De Ki Sahab Ka Khada Kaisi Kiya?

Tuesday 18 October 2011

True Meaning Of I Love You.

Boys Always Say ‘I Love You‘ To Girls But!! What is The True Meaning Of This Line?
I‘ Am
L‘ooking
O‘ut 4
V‘aginal
E‘ntry
Y‘ou Must Take
O‘ff Ur
U‘nderwear!

Ek Aisi Ladki Jise Aids Ho

Sardar Ji Ne Hotel Mey Ek Aisi Lardi Ki Demand Ki Jisko Aids Ho.
Wajah Poochi Tu Sardar Ji Nay Kaha “Mere Se Meri Biwi Ko Aids Ho, Meri Biwi Se Mere Bhai Ko, Bhai Se Bhabi Ko, Bhabi Se Papa Ko, Papa Se Mamma Ko, Mamma Se Padosi Ko, Tab Usay Pata Chale Ga Ki Sardar Ki Maan Se Sex Karnay Ka Kaya Anjaam Hota Hai

Meri Izzat Lutti Gayi

Sardarni: “Aji Sunday HO.. Ajj Sade Ghar 3 Daaku Aaye Si.. Onha Ne Meri Izat Lutt Layi Je.
Sardar: “Toon Onha Nu Rokya Naeen….?
Sardarni: “Bada Rokyaa Si Ohna Nu… Par O Ruke Hi Nahi…. Kehan Lage Hun Sanu Jaan De… Assi Thak Gaye Aan, Fer Kadi Anvange

Duniya Mein Sabse Himmat Wala Kaun Hai?

Duniya Mein Sabse Himmat Wala Kaun Hai?
Answer: Dhobi, Woh Kisi Ke Bhi Ghar Jake Bol Sakta Hai
Sahab, Mamsab Ko Bolo Ki Kapde Nikaal Ke Rakhe, Main Abhi Aakar Leta Hoon

What Is Long & Hard, Has A Hole At The Tip

What Is Long & Hard, Has A Hole At The Tip And When U Insert It Into A Wet, Hairy & Tight Hole Makes U Feel Better?

Vicks Inhaler

Chooss Chooss Chooss

Chooss Chooss Chooss
Maze Lay Lay Kar Chooss
Bari Bari Ek Ek Kar Kay Chooss
Donoo Ko Ek Saath Chooss
Masal Masal Kay Choos
Kyon Kay

Kahin Aamon (Mango) Ka Season Khatam Na Ho Jaye.

Woh Mangti Thi Mein Detaa Na Thha

Woh Mangti Thi Mein Detaa Na Thha,
Jawaab Uske Sawaal Ka..
Abhi Rakha Hi Thha Ke Chhut Gayaa,
Haath Se Mere Phool Gulaab Ka..
Woh Kehti Thi Peeche Se Nahi Aage Se Karo,
Deedar Mere Husn-e-Shabaab Ka..

Woh Kehti Thi Bada Dard Hota Hai Jab Under Jaata Hai,
Kaano Mein Ik Ik Lafz Janab Ka.

Sardar Ji Ne Press Kar Diya.

Ek Bar Ek Sardar Ji Ko Political Rally Mein Police Ne Pakkad Liya….
Kyunki, Ek Ladki Apni Chest Pe Ek Badge Laga Ke Ghoom Rahi Thi “Press” Bus Sardar Ji Ne Press Kar Diya.

Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do

Ek Bar Ek Shadi Mein Ek Ladki Ko Toilet Jana Tha To Usne Paas Khade Sardar Ji Se Pucha: “Sardar Ji Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do
Sardar Ji Ne Sharmante Huw Jawab Diya: “You Naughty Girl Pehlay Tum Dikhao Fir Mein Dikhaunga

Little Johny And His Story

One Day In School Little Johnny Saw His Dad’s Car Passing By The School Playground And Go Into The Woods.
Curious Johnny Followed The Car And Saw His Dad And Aunt Jane In A Sexual Position.
Little Johnny Found This So Exciting. He Ran Back Home And Started To Tell His Mother:  “Mom, I Was At The Playground And I Saw Dad’s Car Go Into The Woods With Aunt Jane. I Went There To Look And Dad Was Giving Aunt Jane A Big Kiss, And Then He Take Off Her Shirt. Then Aunt Jane Helped Daddy Take His Pants Off, Then Aunt Jane…
At This Point Mom Cut Him Off And Said, “Johnny, This Is Such An Interesting Story, Lets Save The Rest Of It For Supper Time. I Want To See The Look On Your Daddy’s Face When You Tell It Tonight..
At The Dinner Table, Mom Asked Little Johnny To Tell The Story.
Johnny Started His Story, ‘Mom, I Was At The Playground And I Saw Dad’s Car Go Into The Woods With Aunt Jane. I Went There To Look And Dad Was Giving Aunt Jane A Big Kiss, And Then He Take Off Her Shirt. Then Aunt Jane Helped Daddy Take His Pants Off, Then Aunt Jane And Daddy Started Doing The Same Thing That Mummy And Uncle Bill Used To Do When Daddy Away for Meetings.
Mummy Fainted!
Moral: Sometimes You Need To Just Shut The Fuck Up And Listen To The Whole Story Before You Interrupt!

This Is Called True Insult

A  Family Is At The Dinner Table. The Son Asks His Father, “Dad, How Many Kinds Of Boobies Are There?
The Father, Surprised, Answers: “Well, Son, There’s Three Kinds Of Breasts.
In Her Twenties, A Women’s Breasts Are Like Melons, Round And Firm.
In Her Thirties To Forties, They Are Like Pears, Still Nice But Hanging A Bit.
After Fifty, They Are Like Onions.
Onions?“, Son Surprised
Yes, You See Them And They Make You Cry.
This Infuriated His Wife And Daughter So The Daughter Said: “Mum, How Many Kinds Of ‘Willies‘ Are There?
The Mother, Surprised, Smiles And Answers: “Well Dear, A Man Goes Through Three Phases.
In His Twenties, His Willy Is Like An Oak Tree, Mighty And Hard.
In His Thirties And Forties, It Is A Birch, Flexible But Reliable.
After His Fifties, It Is Like A Christmas Tree.
A Christmas Tree?“, Daughter Asked
Yes, Dead From The Root Up And The Balls Are For Decoration Only.

Lund Hai Bada Shaitan

Mein To Thi Pagal Aur Anjaan
Yeh Hain Ek Lund Ka Ehsaan
Samajhti Thi Ke Lund Hai Bejaan
Nahin Dekha Jisne Choot Ka Maidan
Jab Khara Hua Toh Mein Hui Hairaan
Is Harkat Ne Humko Kardiya Pareshan
Jab Andar Dala Toh Nikaal Di Jaan
Hum Samajhte The Lund Hai Nadaan
Lekin Ab Jana Ki Lund Hain Bara Shaitaan

Good Girls Vs Bad Girls

Good Girls Blush During Love Scenes In A Movie. Bad Girls Know They Could Do It In Better Way.
Good Girls Loosen A Few Buttons When It’s Hot Around. Bad Girls Make It Hot Around By Loosening Few Buttons.
Good Girls Have Only One Credit Card And Rarely Use It. Bad Girls Only Have One Bra And Rarely Use It.
Good Girls Pack Their Toothbrush For Traveling. Bad Girls Pack Their Diaphragms.
Good Girls Prefer The Missionary Position While Sex. Bad Girls Do Too, But Only For Starters.
Good Girls Say, “No Way.” Bad Girls Say, “When n Where?”
Good Girls Think They’re Not Fully Dressed Without A Strand Of Pearls. Bad Girls Think They’re Fully Dressed With Just A Strand Of Pearls.
Good Girls Wax Their Floors. Bad Girls Wax Their Bikini Lines.
Good Girls Wear High Heels To Work. Bad Girls Wear High Heels To Bed.

10 Most Important Guys In A Woman’s Life

10) Doctor -  Because He Says, “Take Off Your Clothes.
9) Dentist – Because He Says, “Open Wide.
8) Hairdresser – Because He Says, “Do You Want It Teased Or Blown.
7) Milkman – Because He Says, “Do You Want It In Front Or In Back?
6) Interior Decorator – Because He Says, “Once You Have It All In, You’ll Love It.
5) Banker – Because He Says, “If You Take It Out To Soon, You’ll Lose Interest.
4) Police Officer – Because He Says, “Spread ‘Em.”
3) Mailman – Because  He Always Delivers His Package.
2) Pilot – Because He Takes Off Fast And Then Slows Down.
1) Hunter – Because He Always Goes Deep In The Bush, Shoots Twice And Always Eats What He Shoots.

Bed Zara Majboot Banana

Sardar Ji: “Mistriji Bed Zara Majboot Banana Mere Munde Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai.
Mistri: “Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Kuch Nahi Tutega.

Aadmi Waha Ja Nahi Sakta?

Teacher Ne Santa Se Pucha: “Aisi Kaunsi Jagah Hai Jisko Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai Par Phir Bhi Wo Waha Ja Nahi Sakta?”
Santa Bola: “Ladies Toilet

Jesse Jackson Death, Hell And Decision

One day in future, Jesse Jackson dies from a Heart Attack
He immediately goes to hell and meet the Devil. “I don’t know what to do here,” Devil says. “You are on my list, but I have no room free for you. You definitely have to stay in the hell,  I’ve  few folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
Jesse thought that sounded pretty cool, so the devil opened the the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large swimming pool. He kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
No,” Jesse said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer at all, and I don’t think I could do that for all day.”
The devil led him to the 2nd Room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room with full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I break rocks all the day,”commented Jesse.
The devil opened the third door. Through it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, and doing what she does best. Jesse looked at the scene and finally said, “OH Yeah, I can handle this.
The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . . .
OK, Monica, now you’re free to go.

Monday 17 October 2011

Army General’s Car And His Wife?

What Is The Common Between An Army General’s Car And His Wife?
Ans: “Both Are Highly Maintained And Very Less Used.

Difference Between A Girl Friend And Motor Bike?

What Is The Difference Between A Girl Friend And Motor Bike.
Motorbike Is First Kicked And Then Used,
While A Girlfriend Is First Used And Then Kicked.

Ladki Ki Mast T-Shirt

Pappu Ke Pados Mein Ek Nayi Familly Rahne Aayi,
Ek Din Uski Ladki Ne T–Shirt Pahni Hui Thhi Jispe Car Bani Hui Thi.
Papu Lagatar Usko Dekhe Ja Raha Thha, Ladki Ne Us Se Pucha.
Ladki: “Oye, Kabhi Car Nahi Dekhi Kya?
Papu: “Ji, Car To Dekhi Hai, Par Itne Bade-Bade Speed Breaker Kabhi Nahi Dekhe

11 oct. morning 2011

A Mother Is In The Kitchen Making Dinner For Her Family When Her Daughter Walks In.
Mother, Where Do Babies Come From?
The Mother Thinks For A Few Seconds And Says, “Well Dear, Mommy And Daddy Fall In Love And Get Married. One Night They Go Into Their Bedroom, They Kiss And Hug And Have Sex.
The Daughter Looks Puzzled So The Mother Continues, “That Means The Daddy Puts His Penis In The Mommy’s Vagina. That’s How You Get A Baby, Honey.
The Child Seems To Comprehend.
Oh, I See, But The Other Night When I Came Into Your Room You Had Daddy’s Penis In Your Mouth. What Do You Get When You Do That?
Jewelry, My Dear. Jewelry.

Ladke Aur Ladki Mein Asli Faraq, Chinki Ki Jubani

Teacher Ne Science Class Mein Chinki Se Puchha.
Teacher: “Ladki Or Ladke Mein Kya Farak Hai?
Chinki: “Ji Ladki Chah Kar Bhi Ek Saal Mein Sirf Ek Hi Bache Ki Maan Ban Sakti Hai Aur Ladka Chahe To Ek Saal Mein 365 Bachon Ka Baap Ban Sakta Hai.

Why Love Is Better Then War?

Teacher Bachho Ko History Samjha Rahi Thhi, Ek Dum Se Usne Class Mein Bethe Bachho Se Puchha.
Teacher: “Why Love Is Better Then War?
Chinki Khadi Hui Aur Muskurati Hue Boli
Chinki: “Madamji, Arey Aapko Itna Bhi Nahi Pata, Simple Because Condom Is Cheaper Then Gun.

Why Sperrm Donation Is More Expensive Than Blood Donation?

In A Period Of Sex Education, Teacher Asks.
Teacher: “Why Sperrm Donation Is More Expensive Than Blood Donation?
Pappu: “Mam Simple, Because Hand-Made Things Are Always Costly

Ek Sawal Jo Kar De Pareshan

Ek Aisa Sawal Jo Aapko Sochne Pe Majbur Kar Dega.
Ladkiya Toilet Se Nikalne Ke Baad Hath Kyu Dhoti Hai, Jabki Unke Pass Pakadne Ke Liye Kuch Hai Hi Nahi.

Sunday 16 October 2011

No More Child, A Great Solution

After Having Their 11th Child, A Couple Decided 11 Was Enough, As They Could Not Afford A Larger Bed.
So The Husband Went To His Veterinarian And Told Him That He And His Cousin Didn’t Want To Have Any More Children.
The Doctor Told Him That There Was A Procedure Called A Vasectomy That Could Fix The Problem But That It Was Expensive.
A Less Costly Alternative, Said The Doctor, Was To Go Home, “Get A Cherry Bomb, Light It, Put It In An Empty Beer Can, Then Hold The Can Up To His Ear And Count To 10.”
The Redneck Said To The Doctor, “I May Not Be The Smartest Man In The World, But I Don’t See How Putting Cherry Bomb In A Beer Can Next To My Ear Is Going To Help Me.
Trust Me” Said The Doctor.
So The Man Went Home, Lit A Cherry Bomb And Put It In A Beer Can.
He Held The Can Up To His Ear And Began To Count: “1″ “2″ “3″ “4″ “5″ …….
At Which Point He Paused, Placed The Beer Can Between His Legs, And Resumed Counting On His Other Hand.

Dosto Ke Liye Ek Khas Sandesh

Ek Bar Ring Baje To Samjo Ki, Main Tumhare Bare Mein Soch Raha Hoon.
Do Bar Ring Baje To Samjo Ki, Tumhari Bahut Yaad Aa Rahi Hai.
Teen Bar Ring Baje To Samjo Ki, Main Tumhe Miss Kar Raha Hoon.
Char Bar Ring Baje To Iska Matlab Hai Ki Bosadi Ke Gaandu Jaldi Se Phone Utta, Urgent Kaam Hai.

Competition Ka Hi To Zamana Hai

Ek Baar Gaanv Mein Ek Gareeb Kisaan Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hui.
Ab Bechara Vo Gareeb Itna Tha Ki Unke Makaan Mein Ek Hi Kamra Thha,
So Usne Socha Ki Room Ko Divide Kar Deta Hun Aur Usne Room Ke Center Mein Ek Bada Sa Parda Taang Diya Jis Se Room Ke Do Partitions Ho Gaye,.
Suhagrat Par Beta Jab Full Speed Se Nayi Dulhan Ko Chod Raha Thha, To Ye Dekh Ke Kisaan Ki Biwi Ne Kisaan Ko Bola Ki Tu Bhi Shuru Ho Ja.
Kuch Der Karne Ke Bad Kisaan Thak Gaya, Par Uska Beta Laga Raha, Kisaan Ki Biwi Ne Fir Usko Karne Ko Bola.
Teen Baar Esa Ho Chuka Thha, Par Beta Jawan Thha Chauthi Baar Bhi Uper Chadd Gaya.
Par Budhe Kisaan Ki Gaand Fatt Chuki Thhi, So Vo Utha Aur Parde Ki Side Pe Jake Bete Se Bola.
Beta Kahe Ko Competition Kar Raha Hai, Maa To Teri Hi Chud Rahi Hai

Confusing Words

An Elderly Couple Had Been Dating For Some Time And Decided It Was Finally Time To Marry.
Before The Wedding, They Had A Long Conversation Regarding How Their Marriage Might Work.
They Discussed Finances, Living Arrangements And So On.
Finally The Old Man Decided It Was Time To Broach The Subject Of Their Physical Relationship.
How Do You Feel About Sex?” He Asked, Rather Hopefully.
Well, I’d Have To Say I Like It Infrequently,” She Responded.
The Old Guy Paused… Then He Asked, “Was That One Word Or Two?

Saturday 15 October 2011

Do You Want To Try 69 Position Too?

Once A Girl Is Quite Fantasized About “69“.
She Has A Regular Boyfriend And They Have Never Done It Before.
One Day She Invites Her Boyfriend To Her Apartment For Romantic Dinner.
After Heavy Dinner, She Tells Him That She Wants To Do “69″.
But The Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Any Idea About What Is 69.
Girlfriend Gets Upset But Thinks That She Can Teach Him How To Do 69.
She Asks Him To Lay Down… And She Then Lays On Top Of Him In Reverse Direction So As In 69.
The Boyfriend Is Confused But Is Eager To Know About 69. So He Does As The GF Tells Him To Do.
They Lay Down In This Position For About 2 Min.
She Is Thinking That He Will, By The Time, Get Excited By This.
But Suddenly The GF Has To Let Go One Fart… Directly On Her BF’s Face.
GF Quickly Apologizes And Asks Him To Stay In That Position For Some More Time.
After One Min She Has To Let Go One Another Fart…. This Time Bigger Than The Previous.
The BF Quickly Throws Her Away, Gets Up, Starts Dressing Up And Yells At Her..
If You Think I Am Gonna Take 67 More Like This, You Are Mad

Ek Acha Aur Sachha Dost

Swami Lunnacharya Ji Farmate Hai
Ek Acha Aur Sachha Dost Larki Ke Brazier Ki Tarha Hota Hai.
1.Comfortable
2.Supportive
3.Tight Se Pakre
4.Girne Se Bachae
Or
5.Hamesha Dil K Qarib Rahe

Sania Mirza Ne Paksitani Make Hi Life Partner Kyu Banaya

Dosto Kabhi Socha Hai Ki Sania Mirza Ne Paksitani Make Hi Life Partner Kyu Banaya.
Because She Knows That An Enemy Can Fuck Better Than Friend…

Ek Saaf Suthra SMS

No Lunn
No Gaand
No Phuddi
No Boobs
No Choot
No Chudai Na Ksi Ki Behn Ko Lunn
Na Kisi Ki Maa Ki Choot,
Kyunki Aj Saf Suthra Sms Bhejne Ka Dil Kar Raha Thha