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Sunday 16 October 2011

No More Child, A Great Solution

After Having Their 11th Child, A Couple Decided 11 Was Enough, As They Could Not Afford A Larger Bed.
So The Husband Went To His Veterinarian And Told Him That He And His Cousin Didn’t Want To Have Any More Children.
The Doctor Told Him That There Was A Procedure Called A Vasectomy That Could Fix The Problem But That It Was Expensive.
A Less Costly Alternative, Said The Doctor, Was To Go Home, “Get A Cherry Bomb, Light It, Put It In An Empty Beer Can, Then Hold The Can Up To His Ear And Count To 10.”
The Redneck Said To The Doctor, “I May Not Be The Smartest Man In The World, But I Don’t See How Putting Cherry Bomb In A Beer Can Next To My Ear Is Going To Help Me.
Trust Me” Said The Doctor.
So The Man Went Home, Lit A Cherry Bomb And Put It In A Beer Can.
He Held The Can Up To His Ear And Began To Count: “1″ “2″ “3″ “4″ “5″ …….
At Which Point He Paused, Placed The Beer Can Between His Legs, And Resumed Counting On His Other Hand.

Dosto Ke Liye Ek Khas Sandesh

Ek Bar Ring Baje To Samjo Ki, Main Tumhare Bare Mein Soch Raha Hoon.
Do Bar Ring Baje To Samjo Ki, Tumhari Bahut Yaad Aa Rahi Hai.
Teen Bar Ring Baje To Samjo Ki, Main Tumhe Miss Kar Raha Hoon.
Char Bar Ring Baje To Iska Matlab Hai Ki Bosadi Ke Gaandu Jaldi Se Phone Utta, Urgent Kaam Hai.

Competition Ka Hi To Zamana Hai

Ek Baar Gaanv Mein Ek Gareeb Kisaan Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hui.
Ab Bechara Vo Gareeb Itna Tha Ki Unke Makaan Mein Ek Hi Kamra Thha,
So Usne Socha Ki Room Ko Divide Kar Deta Hun Aur Usne Room Ke Center Mein Ek Bada Sa Parda Taang Diya Jis Se Room Ke Do Partitions Ho Gaye,.
Suhagrat Par Beta Jab Full Speed Se Nayi Dulhan Ko Chod Raha Thha, To Ye Dekh Ke Kisaan Ki Biwi Ne Kisaan Ko Bola Ki Tu Bhi Shuru Ho Ja.
Kuch Der Karne Ke Bad Kisaan Thak Gaya, Par Uska Beta Laga Raha, Kisaan Ki Biwi Ne Fir Usko Karne Ko Bola.
Teen Baar Esa Ho Chuka Thha, Par Beta Jawan Thha Chauthi Baar Bhi Uper Chadd Gaya.
Par Budhe Kisaan Ki Gaand Fatt Chuki Thhi, So Vo Utha Aur Parde Ki Side Pe Jake Bete Se Bola.
Beta Kahe Ko Competition Kar Raha Hai, Maa To Teri Hi Chud Rahi Hai

Confusing Words

An Elderly Couple Had Been Dating For Some Time And Decided It Was Finally Time To Marry.
Before The Wedding, They Had A Long Conversation Regarding How Their Marriage Might Work.
They Discussed Finances, Living Arrangements And So On.
Finally The Old Man Decided It Was Time To Broach The Subject Of Their Physical Relationship.
How Do You Feel About Sex?” He Asked, Rather Hopefully.
Well, I’d Have To Say I Like It Infrequently,” She Responded.
The Old Guy Paused… Then He Asked, “Was That One Word Or Two?