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Saturday 31 March 2012

Hijde Ko Tadpana Achi Bat Nahi Hai

Ek Hijda Bazar Se Guzar Raha Tha.
Achanak Uski Gand Mein Kisi Ne Ungli Dal Di, Aur Turant Hi Nikal Di
Hijda: “Haye Haye Ye Miss Call Kisne Maari

Motapa Kaise Kam Kare, 3 Din Mein 20 Killo

"Aaj Ke Time Mein Sab Motape Se Pareshan Hai, Apne Rathee Ne Bhi Wajan Kam Karne Ki Sochi Aur Vakiye Hi Wajan Kam Kar Liya, Par Kaisi?"
Hamara Pyara Dost Rathee Bahut Mota Tha Aur Apne Wajan Ko Lekar Bahut Pareshan Tha.
Usne Bade Bade Tarike Apnaye, Gym Gya, Medicines Khayi Par Koi Farak Na Pada.
Ek Din Usne News Paper Mein Add Dekhi, Ki “Teen Din Mein 20 Killo Wajan Kam Kare, Fees Sirf 5000 Rs
Rathee Bada Hairan Hua Ki Esa Kaise Ho Sakta Hai, Man Mein Shanka Lekar Udhar Ja Pahuncha.
Jake Manager Se Mila Aur Pucha: “Arey Esa Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Ki Aadmi Ka Teen Din Mein 20 Killo Wajan Kam Ho Jaye?
Manager Muskura Ke Bola: “Aap Is Bat Ki Chinta Na Kare, Join Kare Aur Khud Dekh Le
Rathee Ne Socha Ki Chalo Itne Paise Barbaad Kiye Hai Ek Baar Aur Sahi, Usne Ye Soch Ke Fees Bar Di.
Ek Aadmi Aya Aur Usne Uske Sare Kapde Utarva Ke Nanga Kar Diya, Aur Use Ek Kamre Mein Chhod Aya.
Do Minute Bad Kamre Mein Ek Nangi Par Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Ladki Aayi
Rathee Ka Usko Dekhte Hi Khada Ho Gaya Aur Uske Muh Se Laar Tapkane Lagi.
Ladki Boli: “Agar Tumne Mujhe Pakad Liya To Tumhe Apne Saath Sex Karne Ka Moka Dungi
Ye Kahte Hi Ladki Kamre Mein Bagne Lag Gayi Aur Rathee Usko Pakadne Ke Liye Uske Piche Piche.
1 Ganta Race Chalti Rahi Par Rathee Us Ladki Ko Na Pakad Paya Aur Thak Kar Behosh Ho Kar Gir Gaya.
Thodi Der Baad Hosh Aaya Utha Aur Bahar Nikal Ke Usne Apna Wajan Tola To Dekha Ki 5 Killo Wajan Kam Ho Gaya.
Rathee Khush Hua Aur Ghar Aa Gaya, Agle Din Fir Vahi Pahuncha Aur Man Mein Socha Ki Aaj Is Ladki Ko Pakad Hi Lunga.
Fir Race Shuru Ho Gayi, Rathee Uske Piche Piche Bhag Raha Tha Aur Is Bar Ladki Ke Kafi Najdik Pahunch Paa Raha Tha
Par Ladki Aur Tez Bhagne Lag Gayi, Is Bar 2 Gante Bhaag Kar Rathee Thak Har Kar Beth Gaya.
Bahar Aya Check Kiya To 5 Killo Aur Wajan Kam Ho Gaya Tha. Rathee Bahut Hi Khush Ho Gaya Aur Ghar Aa Gaya
Agle Din Usne Kasam Kha Li Thi Ki Aaj To Is Ladki Ko Pakad Ke Hi Rahunga.
Agle Din Vo Nanga Hokar Kamre Mein Pahuncha Aur Ladki Ka Intezar Karne Lag Gaya.
Tabhi Ek 7 Foot Ka Kala Habshi (Neegro) Kamre Mein Aya, Jiska Lund Bahut Hi Mota Aur 12 Inch Ka Tha.
Rathee Ko Dekh Ke Habshi Muskura Ke Bola: “Beta Agar Mene Tujhe Pakad Liya To Main Teri Tasalli Se Gaand Marunga
Bas Fir Kya Tha Rathee Aage Aage Aur Habshi Piche Piche, Rathee Pure Josh Ke Sath Bhag Raha Tha.
3 Gante Tak Ye Chalne Ke Baad Rathee Puri Tarha Thakne Ke Baad Gir Kar Behosh Ho Gaya.
2 Gante Baad Jab Hosh Aya To Bahar Nikla Aur Wajan Tolne Gaya To Dekha Ki Sidha 10 Killo Wajan Kam Ho Gaya Thha.

Poor Rosemary

Rosemary Divorced Mr.Lele.
B’coz She Was Sick Of Telling Her Name, Roz Meri Lele,
Imagine Her Tough Luck, She Was Re-Married To Mr. Marlow.

Girlfriend Ke Saath Kya Kar Raha Tha

Ladka Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath,
Kamre Ke Andhar,
Table Ke Upar,
Pankhe Ke Neeche,
De Tacatac… Tacatac…
De Tacatac… Tacatac…
Salo Tennis Khel Raha Tha, Jaruri Nahi Har Jagha Sex Hi Kare.

Thursday 29 March 2012

When Is That The Skin Meets Skin?

When Is That The Skin Meets Skin,
Hair Meets Hair And Balls Disappear,
Dirty Mind Its When You Blink Your Eyes.

Sabka Dene Ka Apna Apna Style Hai

Kuch Ladkiyan Khade Ho Kar Deti Hain,
Kuch Ladkiyan Beth Kar Deti Hain,
Kuch Ladkiyan To Dono Tarah (Khade Aur Beth Kar) De Sakti Hain,
.
.
.
You Dirty Mind …. Jhadoo

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Achieving Your Target

Achieving Your Target In Studies Is Just Like Being Pregnant.
Everyone Congratulates You On The Outcome,
But No One Knows How Many Times You Got Fu-Ked.

Tuesday 27 March 2012

Bhagwaan Ke Naam Par Roti Milegi?

Pet Ki Aag Bhujane Ke Liye Akhir Kya Kya Nahi Karna Padta, Aur Kahte Hai Pet Ki Bukh Ke Aage Aur Koi Bukh Nahi Rukti."
Bikhari Ne Ek Aadmi Ke Ghar Ka Darwaja Khatkataya Aur Bola
Bhikari: “Babuji, Bhagwaan Ke Naam Par Roti Milegi?
Babuji: “Akela Hoon Ghar Pe Koi Aurat Nahi Hai
Bhikari: “Babuji, Taqleef Pet Mein Hai Lund Mein Nahi, Roti Maangi Hai Choot Nahi

Films Ke Naam Ka Chakkar

Santa Banta Ek Din Film Se Related Baat Kar Rahe The To Achanak Se Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha.
Santa: “Deepa Mehta Ne Ek Film Lesbeens Par Banayi Naam Rakha Fire Ab Wo Gay Ke Upar Film Bana Rahi Hai Socho Uska Naam Kya Hoga?
Banta: “Pata Nahi
Santa: “Backfire

Kam Se Kam Bachho Ki To Sharam Kar Lo

Ye Tab Ki Baat Hai, Jab Pappu 5th Class Mein Thha.
Uski Class Ki Ek Teacher Pregnant Thhi, Usko Dekh Ke Ek Din Pappu Bola
Pappu: “Madam Aapko Beta Hone Wala Hai Ya Beti?
Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Ye Baat Mujhe Kaisi Pata Hogi?
Pappu: “Madam Mujhe Pata Hai Aapko Kya Hone Wala Hai, Aapko Ladka Hone Wala Hai
Teacher Hairani Se: “Arey, Tujhe Ye Baat Kaisi Pata?
Pappu: “Mam Vo Jab Aap Chair Pe Pair Utha Ke Beth Ti Ho To Ander Se Uski Mooche Dikhti Hai

Monday 26 March 2012

Dalna Hai To Dalo Nahi To Rahne Do

"Yaar Tum Logo Ki Marji Hai Dalo Chahe Na Dalo. Acha Lage To Dal Dena Nahi To Rahne Dena, Aurat Ho Ya Mard Bas Dal Do... Par Kya?"
Tumhara Farz Hai Dalna,
Tumhra Haq Hai Dalna,
Acha Lage To Dalo,
Bharosa Ho To Dalo,
Jaha Marzi Dalo,
Jisko Marzi Dalo,
Orat Ko Dalo – Ya Mard Ko Dalo … “Vote

Sunday 25 March 2012

Husbands Are Like Owls

Teena: “What Do You Think About Husbands?
Meena: “They Are Like Owls
Teena: “Why?
Meena: “They Can See The Good Things In A Wife Only At Night

Bachte Bachte Bachha Ho Hi Gaya

Naukrani Apna Sara Samaan Pack Karke Apne Ghar Jaa Rahi Thi,
Jate Hue Apni Maalkin Se Mili Aur Boli.
Naukrani: “Malkin Main Gaanv Jaa Rahi Hun, Main Pregnent Hoon
Malkin: “Mubarak Ho, Klawati
Naukrani: “Sahab Ko Bol Dena, Ke Unka Nasbandi Ka Opration Sahi Nahi Hua

Saturday 24 March 2012

Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Mein Liya Hai?

Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Mein Liya Hai?
Woh Mota Sa, Jiske Aas-Paas Baal Hote Hai
Naram-Naram Sa Hota Hai
Aur Uper Ek Cover Bhi Hota Hai
Nahi … ? ? ? ? ?
Jooth Kyu Bolte Ho Yaar?
Kabhi Bhutta Nahi Khaya Kya?

Janu Koi Takleef To Nahi Hui Na?

"Kayi Log Suhagrat Par Biwi Ke Sath Karte Hue Bada Dhayan Rakhte Hai, Ese Hi Is Shaks Ne Rakha, Par Jab Agle Din Biwi Se Pucha To Kya Jawab Mila?"
Suhagrat Pe Patni Ke Sath Bade Aram Aram Se Sex Kiya Taki Use Koi Takleef Na Ho
Agle Din Usne Apni Biwi Se Puchha.
Pati: “Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui
Patni: “Nahi, Bohat Maza Aaya, Dard To Tab Hota Tha Jab Main School Mein Thi

Friday 23 March 2012

Always End The Relationship Like This

Girlfriend: “I Want To End Our Relationship, I Am Going To Return Everything You Gave Me
Boyfriend: “Ok, Then Let’s Start With Kisses

Khadi Rahne Wali Cheeze Khadi Hi Rahti Hai

Ek Old Couple Paris Mein Ghumne Ke Liye Gaye.
Waha Bada Hi Romantic Mahol Tha, Jise Dekh Ke Budhe Ko Feelings Aa Rahi Thi.
Achanak Se Biwi Boli: “Pehle Eiffel Tower Chale Ya Hotel Ke Room?
Husband: “Hotel Ke Room Mein Chalte Hai, Eiffel Tower To Kal Bhi Khada Rahega

Thursday 22 March 2012

Ladki Ka Naam To Bada Hi Pyara Hai

Santa Banta Ek Din Park Mein Bethe The To Achanak Se Santa Ek Ladko Ko Dekh Ke Bola.
Santa: “Yaar Bantya, Wo Ladki Kitni Sundar Hai
Banta: “Mujhe Uska Naam Pata Hai
Santa Hairani Se: “Achha Kya Naam Hai Uska?
Banta: “Wo Bank Mein Kaam Karti Hai, Uske Counter Ke Upar Uska Naam Likha Tha… Chaalu Khaata

Choice Is In Your Hands

After Marriage Rs.6000 Per Month,
Or Condom Rs.3.30,
Or 10 Minutes In Bathroom Rs.0.00,
Choice Is In Your Hands.

Koi Pathar Se Na Mare, Is Deewane Ko

Pappu Ne Ek Din Bazar Mein Ek Ladki Dekhi Aur Uske Piche Piche Jane Laga, Taki Dekh Sake Vo Kahan Rahti Hai
Kuch Dur Jane Ke Bad Ladki Ko Ehsas Ho Gaya Ki Pappu Uska Picha Kar Raha Hai To Vo Gusse Se Boli.
Ladki: “Sale, Mere Piche-Piche Ghumega To Patthar Fenk Ke Marungi
Pappu Bhi Pura Harami Tha Bola: “Achha, Tu Sirf Patthar Uthane Ke Liye Jhuk To Sahi, Teri Gaand Hi Maar Dunga

Bachho Shor Mat Karo

4th Class Ke Bacho Ko Ek Miss Pada Rahi Thi, Par Bache Kafi Shor Macha Rahe Thhe
Tang Aakar Miss Bacho Se Boli
Miss: “Shor Mat Karo Warna Khada Kar Dungi
Sub Bache: “Miss Pehle Mera… Pehle Mera… Pehle Mera…

How To Recharge A Sex Card?

Question: “How To Recharge A Sex Card?
Answer: “Open Bra, Press Nipple, Scratch Panty, Insert P3nnis, A Sound “Uee Maa” Confirm Sex Card Recharge Successfully Valid For 9 Month

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Savita Aunty Ki Billi

Chota Ladka Bhaga Bhaga Ghar Aya Aur Apni Maa Se Bola
Ladka: “Mummy Mummy Savita Aunty Ki Billi Ne Daru Pee Lee
Mummy Hairan Hote Hue: “Arrey, Tumhe Kaise Pata?
Ladka: “Wo Papa Aunty Se Keh Rahe The Savita Teri Pussy Bahut Nasheeli Hai

Height Of Facebook Update

Height Of Facebook Update:
Suhaag Raat Hain Ghunghat Utha Raha Hoon Main
…………………….. 25 Likes,
And…………….. 1 Comment,
Keep On Updating We Are Online

Fir Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?

Shadi Ke Agle Din Muslim Ladke Se Uske Dosto Ne Pucha
Dost: “Kaisa Raha?
Ladka Rote Hue: “Yaaro, Kabhi Apne Relatives Mein Shadi Mat Karna, Zara Sa Zor Lagaya To Boli Aamir Bhai Aaram Se

Make Me Feel Like A Wife

A Hot Girl Removes Her Jeans Tells To Her Boyfriend,
Girl: “Make Me Feel Like A Wife
The Boy Also Removes His Jeans And Says,
Boy: “Wash Both The Jeans

Monday 19 March 2012

Sex Ka Maja Kis Din Aaya?

Santa Ne Apni Marrige Anniversery Par Apni Biwi Se Pucha.
Santa: “Apni Shaadi Ko Panch Saal Ho Gaye Tere Ko Sex Ka Sabse Jyada Maza Kis Din Ayaa?
Biwi SHarmate Hue: “Ji Us Din, Jab Aap Ludhiana Gaye The

Aye Mere Dost Jara Dhayan Se

Upar Mat Dekh Sitaare Gir Jayenge,
Niche Mat Dekh Pathar Pighal Jayenge,
Samne Mat Dekh Koi Sharma Jayega,
.
.
.
Par Piche Jarur Dekh Varna Koi Gand Mar Jayega.

Kissing At The Top, Fire At The Bottom

Kissing At The Top, Holding At The Middle & Fire At The Bottom.
Do You Know The Answer?
What ?
Don’t Think Dirty…
.
.
.
Its A “Cigarette

Bechari , Dono Taraf Se Fasi

Ek Ladki Rote Hue Apne Pita Ji Ke Pass Aayi Aur Boli
Ladki: “Papa, Bhaiya Ne Aapko Gaali Di, Betichod
Baap Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Aane De Saale Ko, Uski Behen Chod Dunga
Ladki: “Chalo Papa Rehne Do, Dono Taraf Se Chudai To Meri Hi Hogi

Feeling Bored? Wondering What To Do?

Feeling Bored?
Wondering,
What To Do?
Open The Zip,
Enter Your Hands In Between Your Zip,
.
.
.
Take Out Your Book From Your Bag And Study.

Saturday 17 March 2012

Gunah Karne Se Kaise Bache

Maa Pareshani Ki Halat Mein Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli
Maa: “Dr Saab, Kunwari Beti Ka Abortion Karwana Hai.
Doctor: “Gunah Ke Kaam Kyun Karti Ho?
Maa: “Doctor Sahab, Mene Ise Samjhaya Tha Gunah Se Behtar Hai Condom Use Kiya Karo

Faansi laga li..?????

Sabta: Yaar tune jiss ladaki ko swimming pool me-
dubane se bachaya tha
usne faansi laga ke
suicide kar liya..
Banta: Pagal hai kya? Usse to maine hi sookhane ke liye
Taanga tha..

Pakistani Ladkiyon Ke Boobs Bade Kyon Hote Hain?

Pakistani Ladkiyon Ke (    .    ) (    .    ) Boobs Bade Kyon Hote Hain?
Kyun Ki….
Wo Aate-Jaate Har Ek Ko Kehti Hain
Aa Daab – Aa Daab

Do You Sell Viagra Here?

A Middle Aged Man, About 5 Foot 8 Inches Tall, Walks Into A Walmart And Asks Where The Pharmacy Counter Is.
He Is Directed To It. When He Reaches It, He Asks To See The Pharmacist.
The Pharmacist Comes And The Man, Looking Around Furtively, Asks Quietly: “Do You Sell Viagra Here?
The Pharmacist Answers Firmly: “Yes, Sir. We Certainly Do.
The Man Then Asks: “Do You Think I Could Get It Over The Counter?
The Pharmacist Thinks For A Moment And Then Says: “Perhaps, If You Took Five Or Six Pills At Once You Might.

Raat Ko Hamesha Kapde Utaar Ke Sona Chahiye.

"Dosto Kabhi Socha Hai Ki Rat Ko Hamesha Kapde Utar Ke Sona Chahiye, Par Kyu?"
Raat Ko Hamesha,
Kapde Utaar Ke Sona Chahiye.
Mera Matlab Rassi Se,
Kyun Ke Baarish Ka Kuch Pata Nahi Hota.

Andhere Mein Kabhi Car Thik Mat Karo

Ek Baar Santa Aur Banta Workshop Mein Kaam Kar Rahe The,
Santa Ek Car Ke Niche Gus Kar Usko Thik Kar Raha Tha.
Achanak Light Chali Gayi, Santa Bola.
Santa: “Chote, 10 No. Ka Pana De
Banta: “Aaaaaahhh Oye Madarchod Hath Mein De

Jako rakhe saiyan.mar sake na koy

Reporter to Pathan: Plateform par khade sabhi Pathan ek sath kaise mar gaye ?
Pathan : Ek Elaan huwa ki Train Plateform par aa rahi hai sabhi jaan bachane ke liye patari par kud gaye.
Reporter : Toh pathan ji aap akele kaise Bach gaye ?
Pathan : Mai Suside karne ke liye patari pe leta huwa thha elaan sunkar patari par se uthkar plateform par aakar let gaya thha

The Helping Hand

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Jo Mila Ladki Ko Mila..

Jo Mila Ladki Ko Mila.
Hont Mile Chuswane Ko,
Mumme Mile Dabwane Ko,
Phuddi Mili Chudwane Ko,
Gand Mili Marwane Ko.
Aur Aapko Kya Mila Janab ???  Sirf Lund !
Aur Wo Bhi Sirf Hilane Ko???
So Hilate Raho

Ladies Ke Pass Wo Kya Hai?

Ladies Ke Paas Wo Kya Hai Jo Round Shape Mein Hai,
Left & Right Side Hai,
Chalte Hue Hilti Hai,
Uska Name B Se Start Hota Hai?
Socho
?
?
?
Bangles, Soch Badlo Desh Badlega.

Hey Mere Bhagwan Ye Kya Ho Gaya

Banta Bhaga Bhaga Santa Ke Ghar Aya Aur Hanfte Hue Santa Ko Bola
Banta: “Santa, Mene Abhi Teri Biwi Ko Gashtiyon (Call Girls) Ke Adde Pe Dekha Tha, Jara Dhayan Rakha Kar
Santa Rote Hue: “Haye Mere Bhagwan, Meri Gharwali Ko Choot Lene Ki Aadat Kab Se Pad Gayi?

Thursday 15 March 2012

Intelligent Boyfriend

A Boy With A Girlfriend Entered A Jewellery Shop On A Saturday & Choose A Diamond Ring Worth 8 Lakhs For Her Girlfriend,
He Gave A Cheque And Said He’ll Collect The Ring On Monday After The Cheque Is Cleared.
On Monday Jeweler Called The Boy And Said,
Jeweler: “There’s No Money In Your Bank A/C
Boy: “I Know But You Can’t Imagine What A Weekend I Had With My Girlfriend

Haaye Re Tensions Hi Tensions

Ek Aadmi Ki Biwi 3 Din Se Beemar Thhi, Bechara Tension Mein Thha
Ghar Se Dawayi Lene Ke Liye Nikla To Baarish Shuru Ho Gayi, Tension Aur Bad Gayi
Baarish Ruki To Jaisi Hi Ghar Se Nikla To Bike Puncture Ho Gayi, Bechara Fir Tension Mein
Bike Ko Puncture Lagvaya To Thodi Door Jane Ke Baad Ek Aurat Ne Use Awaj Di, Usko Tension Hui Ki Ye Kon Hai Jisne Awaj Lagayi
Usne Aurat Se Pucha To Usne Bataya Ki Vo Pregnant Hai Usko Hospital Le Jao, Bechara Aur Tension Mein Aa Gaya
Fir Bhi Insaniyat Ke Nate Usne Uski Help Ki Aur Hospital Le Gaya, Pata Chala Doctor Abhi Nahi Aya, Bechare Ki Tension Aur Bad Gayi
Doctor Jab Aya To Usne Operation Karne Se Mana Kar Diya Ki Iske Pati Ko Lao, Aadmi Ko Aur Tension Ho Gayi
Par Usne Apna Faraz Nibhate Hue Kaha Ki Main Hi Iska Pati Hun, Ab Tension Ye Thhi Ki Bachha Hoga Bhi Nahi
Doctor Ne Usko Aake Kaha Ki Ladka Hua Hai, Ab Vo Jaisi Hi Jane Laga To Aurat Ne Awaj De Ke Kaha Patidev Kaha Ja Rahe Ho. Sun Ke Tension Extreme Ho Gayi
Usne Kaha Ki Maine To Operation Ho Jaye Isliye Kaha Tha Ki Pati Hun, Par Aurat Ne Kaha Ki Yahi Mera Pati Hai, Tension Se Sir Fatne Ko Ho Gaya
Usne Kaha Ki Doctor Mera Test Kar Lo, Doctor Ne Test Kiya To Pata Chala Ki Vo To Baap Hi Nahi Ban Sakta Tha, Ye Sochkar Uski Tension Hadd Se Jyada Badd Gayi
Jaisi Hi Bahar Aya To Socha Ki Ghar Mein Jo Do Bache Hai Fir Vo Kiske Hai, Bas Is Tension Se Vo Vahi Behosh Ho Gaya
So Dosto Aaj Ke Time Jidhar Bhi Jao Tensions Hi Tensions Hai, So Jara Dhayan Se Jiyo

Sachii Ghatna Daheradun Ki

Ek Sachhi Ghatna Jise Soch Kar Insan Ki Rooh Tak Kaap Jati Hai,Lekin Zalimon Ke Hath Tak Nahi Kaape
Daheradun Ki 17 Saal Ki Ladki, Jisne Abhi-Abhi 12th Pass Ki Thi,
Aur Abhi Jo Din Uske Enjoy Karne Ke Khelne Kudne Ke The,
Uske Sage Mama Aur Mami Ne Behla Fusla Kar Patakar Usse

Engineering Ka Form Bharva Hi Diya.

Wednesday 14 March 2012

Ise Kahte Hai Kismatwala

Ladka Shaadi Ke Pehle Apni Hone Wali Biwi Ko Doctor Ke Paas Virginity Test Ke Liye Le Gaya.
Test Ke Baad Doctor Khush Hote Hue Ladke Ko Bola: “Congrates, You Are So Lucky, Mera Badi Mushkil Se Andar Gaya

What Is Long & Hard, Has A Hole At The Tip

What Is Long & Hard, Has A Hole At The Tip And When You Insert It Into A Wet, Hairy & Tight Hole Makes You Feel Better?
Vicks Inhaler

Where Is My Car?

A Man Walks Out Of A Bar, Stumbling Back And Forth With A Key In His Hand. A Cop On The Beat Sees Him, And Approaches.
Cop: “Can I Help You, Sir?
Man: “Yesssh! Sssshomebody Ssshtole My Car!
The Cop Asks: “Where Was Your Car The Last Time You Saw It?
Man: “It Wasssh At The End Of Thisssh Key!
The Cop Next Looks Down And That The Man’s Member Is Being Exhibited For All The World To See.
He Asks The Man: “Sir, Are You Aware That You Are Exposing Yourself?
The Man Looks Down Woefully And Without Missing A Beat, Moans: “Ohhh God . . . They Got My Girlfriend Too!!!

Santa Banta Bhi Kamaal Hai, Kuch Nahi Sochte

Santa Banta Ka Ek Din Movie Dekhne Ka Program Bana.
Jaisi Hi Cinema Pahunche To Santa Ne Ticket Counter Par House Full Ka Board Dekha Aur Gusse Se Bola.
Santa: “Maa Ki Choot Band Ho Gayi Sali
Banta Ne Ye Suna Aur Bola: “Oye Aaja Aaja Koi Baat Nahi, Bahan Ki Choot Black Mein To Mill Rahi Hai Na

Gotiya Hamare Lund Se Jyada Kali Kyu Hoti Hai?

Baba Ji Ka Ek Bhakat Bada Hi Ajeeb Sa Prashan Leke Baba Saxidas Ji Ke Pass Gaya.
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Mujhe Aaj Tak Ek Baat Nahi Samajh Aayi Aur Main Bada Pareshan Hun, Kripya Aap Uska Jawab De Dijiye
Baba Ji: “Bolo Beta, Kya Sawal Pareshan Kar Raha Hai Tumko?
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Gotiya Lund Se Zyada Kali Kyo Hoti Hai?
Baba Ji Pahle Muskuraye Aur Apne Bhakt Ki Taraf Pyar Bhari Najro Se Dekh Kar Bole
Baba Ji: “Beta, Kyunki Wo Lund Ko Maze Leta Dekh Kar Jalti Rehti Hai.

Tuesday 13 March 2012

My Mom Is Better Than Yours

Two School Kids Were Arguing In The Playground.
First Boy: “My Dad Is A Better Snooker Player Than Your Dad
Second Biy: “No He Ain’t, My Dad Got The Highest Score Last Week.
First Boy Think For A Moment And Said: “Ok, Ok, But My Mom Is Better Than Your Mom.
Second Boy Said With A Smile On His Face: “Yeah, Alright, My Dad Also Says The Same Thing.

Chooss Chooss Chooss

Chooss Chooss Chooss
Maze Le Le Kar Chooss
Bari Bari Ek Ek Kar Ke Chooss
Ya Dono Ko Ek Saath Chooss
Masal Masal Ke Choos
Kyon Kay
Kahin Aamon (Mango) Ka Season Khatam Na Ho Jaye.

Kheli Khayi Patni Ka Example

Suhag Raat Ke Din Pati Apni Patni pe Rob Dalne Ke Liye Bola.
Pati: “Bolo Tume Chand Ki Sair Karvau Ya Taaron Ki?
Patni Bhi Kheli Khayi Thi Sun Ke Boli
Patni: “Pahle Rocket To Dekh Loon Baad Mein Decide Karungi

Bhagwan Bhi Pareshan Ho Gaye

Bhagwan Ne Srishti Ki Rachna Karne Ke Baare Mein Socha Aur Issi Purpose Se Adam Aur Eve Ko Banaya,
Unhone Adam Ko Bulaya Aur Kaha: “Ab Tumhare Liye Ek Vishesh Karye Hai, Jise Tumhe Hi Poora Karna Hoga
Adam: “Prabhu, Aap Aadesh Kare, Aapke Aadesh Ka Palan Hoga
Bhagwaan: “Adam, Tum Dharti Par Jaao
Adam: “Ye Dharti Kya Hai? Prabhu
Bhagwan Adam Ko Dharti Ke Baare Mein Samjhate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tumhe Dharti Par Jana Hoga Aur Waha Seedhe Bharat Mein Jana
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Bharat Kya Hai? Iske Baare Mein Bataye?
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Bharat Ke Baare Mein Batate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Adam, Tum Bharat Mein Pahunch Kar Himalay Par Pahunch Jana
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Himalay Kya Hai?
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Himalay Ke Baare Mein Batate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Adam, Himalay Par Phunch Kar Ek Nadi Paar Kar Lena
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Nadi Kya Hoti Hai?
Bhagwaan Aaram Se Adam Ko Nadi Ke Baare Mein Vistaar Se Batate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tum Uss Nadi Ko Paar Karke Ek Gufa Mein Ghuss Jana
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Gufa Kaisi Hoti Hai?
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Gufa Ke Baare Mein Ache Se Samajha Dete Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tumhe Uss Gufa Mein Ek Aurat Milegi
Adam: “Ye Aurat Kya Hoti Hai? Prabhu
Bhagwaan Phir Se Adam Ko Aurat Ke Baare Mein Poora Samajhate Hai Aur Kehte Hai.
Bhagwaan: “Tum Uss Aurat Ke Sath Sex Karna Taki Bachhe Paida Ho
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Sex Kya Hota Hai, Aur Isse Bachhe Kaise Paida Honge?
Bhagwaan Adam Ko Sex Ke Baare Mein Vistaar Se Samjhate Hai Aur Use Bharat Jane Ke Liye Ravana Kar Dete Hai.
Adam Bhi Prithvi Par Bhagwaan Ke Bataye Anusaar Pahunch Jata Hai, Lekin Kuch Der Baad Adam Phir Se Bhagwaan Ke Paas Aa Jata Hai,
Bhagwaan Pehle Se Hi Gusse Mein Baithe The, Aur Gusse Mein Aakar Bole
Bhagwaan: “Kya Hua Abb Kyu Wapis Aaye Ho, Kya Wo Aurat Tumhe Gufa Mein Nahi Mili?
Adam: “Aurat To Mil Gayi Prabhu Par Ek Samasya Hai?
Bhagwaan: “Kya Samasya Hai?
Adam: “Prabhu, Ye Sir Dard Kya Hota Hai?

Monday 12 March 2012

Reason Behind The Names

A Boy Goes To His Mother One Day With A Puzzled Look.
Boy: “Mom, Why Is My Bigger Brother Named Thunderstorm?
She Told Him: “Because He Was Conceived During A Mighty Storm.
Then He Asked: “Why Is My Sister Named Cornflower?
She Replied: “Well, Your Father And I Were In A Cornfield When We Made Her.
Boy: “And Why Is My Other Sister Called Moonchild?
Mom Replied: “Because We Were Watching The Moon Landing While She Was Conceived.
Thoughtfully, Mother Paused And Asked Her Son: “But Why Are You So Curious, Broken Rubber?

Woh Mangti Thi Mein Deta Na Tha

Ladke Aur Ladki Ki Shayari Jo Aapka Lund Khada Karva Dengi, Pade Ye Purani Double Meaning Shayari Ek Naye Andaaj Mein"
Woh Mangti Thi Mein Deta Na Tha,
Jawaab Uske Kisi Bhi Sawaal Ka.
Ek Din Uss Ne Manga To Khara Ho Gya,
Rongata Rongata Meray Jazbat Ka
Ek Din Wo Boli Peeche Se Nahi Age Se Karo,
Tum Deedar Mere Husn-E-Shabaab Ka
Bada Dard Hota Hai Jab Ander Jaata Hai,
Kaano Mein Ik Ik Lafz Mere Yaar Ka.
Fir Mene Pyar Se Diya To Choot Gaya
Haath Se Mere Laal Phool Gulaab Ka
Uss Ne Kaha Ke Kar Lo Mager Kisi Ko Na Batana
Bus Chupa Rahe Yeh Afsaana Hamare Pyar Ka

Dada Ji Kya Padd Rahe Ho?

Ek Pote Ne Apne Dada Ji Ko Koi Kitaab Padte Hue Dekha Aur Pucha
Pota: “Dada Ji, Kya Padd Rahe Ho?
Dada Ji: “History Ki Book
Pote Ne Kitaab Ke Title Ko Dekha Aur Hairan Hote Hue Dada Ko Bola.
Pota: “Par Ye To Sex Ki Kitab Lagti Hai
Dada: “Abe Bhonsdi Ke, Mere Liye To Ye History Hi Hai Na

Gandu Pati, Mera Ya Tera?

Ek Aurat Ne Rote Hue Apni Sath Wali Padosan Ko Dukhda Sunaya.
Aurat: “Mujhe Bachcha Nahi Ho Raha
Padosan: “Tumhara Pati Gandu Hoga?
Aurat: “Mera Pati Kya, Mujhe To Tumhara Pati Bhi Gandu Hi Lagta Hai

Sardar Ji Pakde Gaye…. Kyun??

Ek Bar Ek Political Rally Mein Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Khub Jamkar Pityai Kari
Baad Mein Logo Ne Jab Reason Pucha To Santa Rote Hue Bola.
Udhar Ek Ladki Apni Chati Pe Sticker Laga Ke Ghoom Rahi Thi “Press” Bus Maine Waha Se Press Kar Diya.”

Is That For Sale?

A Well-Stacked Young Advertising Secretary Wore Tight Knit Dresses That Showed Off Her Figure, Especially When She Walked.
Her Young, Aggressive Boss Motioned Her Into His Office One Afternoon And Closed The Door.
Pointing To Her Tightly Covered Derriere, He Asked: “Is That For Sale?
Of Course Not!” She Snapped Angrily, Blushing Furiously.
Boss Replied Quietly, “Then, I Suggest You Quit Advertising It.

Nam Ka Chakkar, Bada Hi Ganchakkar

Hamare Khas Dost Rathi Ji Ne Public Toilet Mein Peshab Karte Hue Paas Wale Ka Lund Dekha.
Uske Lund Par Likha Tha Rathi, Apne Jaat Bhai Ko Dekh ke Khush Hote Hue Puchha.
Rathi: “Bhai Sahab Aap Bhi Rathi Hai?
Aadmi: “Nahi Main Brahmin Hoon
Rathi: “Phhir Aap Ke Lund Par Rathi Kyu Likha Hai?
Aadmi: “Chutiye, Khada Hoga Tab Dekhna, Uspar Likha Hoga RAmnarayan tripaTHI

Nam Ka Chakkar, Bada Hi Ganchakkar

Hamare Khas Dost Rathi Ji Ne Public Toilet Mein Peshab Karte Hue Paas Wale Ka Lund Dekha.
Uske Lund Par Likha Tha Rathi, Apne Jaat Bhai Ko Dekh ke Khush Hote Hue Puchha.
Rathi: “Bhai Sahab Aap Bhi Rathi Hai?
Aadmi: “Nahi Main Brahmin Hoon
Rathi: “Phhir Aap Ke Lund Par Rathi Kyu Likha Hai?
Aadmi: “Chutiye, Khada Hoga Tab Dekhna, Uspar Likha Hoga RAmnarayan tripaTHI

Tharki Doctor Chala Tha Marij Ka Ilaaz Karne

Badi Dukhi Si Halat Mein Ek Marij Sex Ke Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.
Marij: “Doctor Sahab, Mera Khada Nahi Hota
Doctor Ne Apni Ek Sunder Si Nurse Ko Bola.
Doctor: “Nurse Idhar Aao, Apni Bra Utaro
Doctor Ne Fir Marij Se Puchha: “Ab Use Dekho, Khada Hua?
Marij: “No
Doctor: “Nurse, Apni Panty Utaro
Doctor: “Ab?
Marij: “No
Doctor: “Ab Tum Bahar Jao Mera Khada Ho Gaya Hai

Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do

Ek Bar Bahut Bade Hotel Mein Shadi Ho Rahi Thi, Udhar Apne Santa Ji Bhi Masti Maar Rahe The.
Achanak Se Sath Mein Khadi Ek Ladki Ko Toilet Jana Thha Usne Santa Se Puchha.
Ladki: “Sardar Ji, Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do
Santa Ne Sharamte Hue Jawab Diya: “You Naughty Girl Pahle Tum Dikhao Fir Mein Dikhaunga

Confident Vs Confidential

A Young Boy Asks His Dad.
Boy: “What Is The Difference Between Confident And Confidential?
Dad Smiled And Says: “You Are My Son, I’m Confident About That. Your Friend Over There, Is Also My Son, That’s Confidential!

Friday 9 March 2012

Bed Zara Majboot Banana

Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi To Vo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola.
Aadmi: “Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai
Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola: “Ji Chinta Na Kijiye, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Nahi Tutega.

Sex Ke Deewane Log

Ek Ladka Apni Girlfriend Se Sex Karne Ke Liye Apni Pent Utarta Hai.
Girlfriend Uska Lund Dekhte Hi Boli: “Tumhara To Bilkul Tumhare Bhai Jaisa Hai
Ladka Muskurate Hue: “Haan, Tumhari Bahan Bhi Yehi Kehti Hai

Sex Ka Aanad Kitna Achha Hota Hai

Ghar Mein Koi Na Hone Ki Wajah Se Malik Ne Apni Naukrani Ko Pakad Liya Aur Sex Karne Lag Gaya.
Thodi Der Tak Sex Karne Ke Baad Nokrani Boli: “Malik Anand Aa Raha Hai
Malik Ne Ye Suna Aur Woh Aur Tez Tez Karne Laga.
Nokrani: “Mallllikkk Ananddd Aaaa Rahaa Hai
Malik Aur Jyada Tezi Se Karne Lag Gaya.
Itne Mein Ek Awaj Aayi
Anand: “Main Aa Gaya, Papa

Thursday 8 March 2012

Tu Kall Kyo Nahi Aayi?

Punjab Ke Ek Sarkari School Ke Teacher Ne Class Mein Ek Ladki Se Puchha.
Teacher: “Tu Kall Kyu Nahi Aayi Thi?
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Sir, Kal Mujhe Tattiya Lag Gayi Thi
Teacher Hairan Hote Hue: “Phir Kya Hua? Hame Bhi To Tatte Lage Hai Par Hum To Roj Aate Hai

Andheri Rat Mein Sex Ka Sawad

Ek Ladka Aur Ladki Raat Ko Jungle Mein Sex Kar Rahe Hote Hai.
Ladki Ko Maja Dene Ke Liye Ladka Uski Choot Ko Chatne Lag Gaya.
15 Minute Baad Ladka Bola: “Agar Torch Hoti To Mazza Aa Jata
Ladki Boli: “Mujhe Bhi, Kyun Ki 15 Minutes Se Tum Ghass Hi Chaat Rahe Ho

Gaand Marwane Ki Service

Jay Nama Ka Banda To Aap Sabko Yaad Hi Hoga.
Vo Lund Ki Talash Mein Idhar-Udhar Ghumta Rahta Tha,
Ek Din Use Gand Marvane Ki Badi Talab Lagi Hoti Hai, Aur Vo Lund Ke Liye Idhar Udhar Bhatak Raha Hota Hai.
Ghumte-Ghumte Uski Nazar Ek Board Par Padti Hai, Jis Par Likha Hota Hai, “Aaiye, 500 Rupaye Mein Gand Marvaye
Usko Padhte Hi Jay Ki Aankhon Mein Chamak Aa Jati Hai,
Sochta Hai Ab To Yahi Aaya Karunga Roz-Roz Kisi Ko Khojne Mein Bahut Samay Barbaad Hota Hai.
Jay Counter Par Ja Kar Bola Hai: “Mujhe Achhi Tarah Gand Marvani Hai
Counter Par Baitha Aadmi Usse 500 Rupaye Le Leta Hai, Aur Counter Ki Khidki Band Kar Deta Hai.
Jay Bahar Chaar Ghante Intzaar Karta Hai, Lekin Counter Ki Khidki Nahi Khulti,
Jab Usse Raha Nahi Jata, To Gusse Mein Khidki Par Ja Kar Chillata Hai.
Counter Par Baitha Aadmi Khidki Kholta Hai Aur Puchta Hai: “Bataiye Main Aapki Kya Sewa Kar Sakta Hoon
Jay Gusse Se Bhara Bolta Hai: “Suna Nahi, Mujhe Gand Marvani Hai
Counter Par Baitha Aadmi Hairani Se Puchta Hai: “Kya Kaha, Phir Se Marvani Hai, Abhi Tak Man Nahi Bhara Kya?

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Aadmi Waha Ja Nahi Sakta?

Teacher Ne Class Mein Santa Se Pucha.
Teacher: “Aisi Konsi Jagha Hai Jise Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai, Par Phir Bhi Vo Wahan Nahi Ja Sakta?
Santa Kuch Soch Ke: “Madam Ji, Ladies Toilet

Khan Ko Chutiya Banati Hai Sali.

Khan Fauj Mein Tha, Kafi Time Ke Baad Ghar Aya To Dekha Ki Biwi Ek Chote Se Bache Ko God Mein Bitha Ke Doodh Pila Rahi Hai.
Khan Gusse Se Biwi Ko Bola: “Mere Bina Tu Pregnant Kaise Ho Gayi?
Biwi Usko Bevkoof Banate Hue: “Ji, Main Roj Aapki Id Photo Ko Dekh Ke Mannat Mangti Thi
Khan Gusse Se: “Sali, Mujhe Chutiya Samjhti Hai, Photo To Passport Size Ka Hai, Usmein Samaan Kidhar Hai?

Isharo Ki Language Ki Problem

Pappu Bachpan Mein Bada Hi Shaitan Tha, Aur Badi Sharate Kiya Karta Tha
Ek Din Uske Rishtedari Mein Ek Shadi Thi, Santa-Preeto Iss Sharat Par Shaadi Mein Lekar Jate Hai Ki Wo Kisi Se Bolega Nahi,
Pappu Sharat Maan Kar Shadi Mein Aa Jata Hai, Aur Sharat Ke Mutabik Kisi Se Nahi Bolta,
Lekin Thodi Hi Der Mein Ek Aadmi Pappu Ki Shikayat Lekar Santa-Preeto Ke Paas Aa Jata Hai Aur Bolta Hai,
Aadmi: “Aapka Bachha Bahut Hi Gande-Gande Ishare Kar Raha Hai
Santa: “Kis Tarah Ke Ishare Kar Raha Tha?
Aadmi: “Pehle To Usne Hath Mein Lund Bana Kar Dikhaya, Phir Hath Mein Chut Bana Kar Dikhayi Aur Uske Baad Hath Se Chodne Ka Ishara Karne Laga
Santa Ne Pappu Ko Bulaya Aur Usko Bahut Danta Aur Pucha: “Kya Gande-Gande Ishare Kar Raha Tha Be Tu?
Pappu: “Main To Hath Se Lund Bana Kar Inse Puch Raha Tha Ki Aap Ladke Walo Ki Taraf Se Ho Kya?
Jab Ye Kuch Nahi Bole To Mene Chut Bana Kar Pucha Ki Aap Ladki Walo Ki Taraf Se Ho Kya?
Jab Ye Dono Baar Mein Kuch Nahi Bole Tab Mene Inse Ishare Mein Pucha: “Jab Ladka Aur Ladki Kisi Bhi Side Se Nahi Ho To Yaha Kya Gand Marvane Aaye Ho?

Oh Poor Embarrassed Lady

A Young Woman Had Given Birth In The Elevator Of A New Delhi Hospital, And Was Embarrassed About It.
One Of The Doctors, In An Effort To Console Her, Said: “Dont Feel Bad, Two Years Ago A Lady Delivered In The Front Yard Of The Hospital.
The New Mother Burst Out Crying: “I Know, That Was Me, Too.

Sex Ke Liye Konsa Time Sahi Hai?

Ek Aurat Sex Se Related Problem Leke Doctor Ke Pass Gayi.
Aurat: “Doctor Saab, Sex Ke Liye Konsa Time Sahi Hai?
Doctor Kuch Sochkar: “Dophar 2 Se 4 Baje Tak
Aurat Ne Hairan Hokar Puchha: “Wo Kyun?
Doctor: “Kyunki Us Waqt Clinic Mein Koi Nahi Hota

Ijjat Bachana Bahut Hi Mushkil Hai

Sholey Movie Mein Se Udaya Gaya Ek Aur Scene
Basanti Ke Piche Daku Pade Hue The, Usne Chilla Ke Dhanno Ko Kaha
Basanti: “Bhaag Dhanno Bhaag Meri Ijjat Khatre Mein Hai
Dhanno: “Tujhe Apni Ijjat Ki Fikar Hai, Idhar Meri Bhi To Ijjat Khatre Mein Hai
Basanti Hairani Se: “Arey Dhanno Kaise?
Dhanno: “Daku Godo Par Hai Na

Mallika Sherawat Ki Problem

Mallika Sherawat Badi Dukhi Si Hokar Apne Family Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli.
Mallika Sherawat: “Doctor Saab, Aajkal Bahut Thak Jati Hun, Lagta Hai Khoon Kam Ho Gaya Hai
Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Pucha: “Periods Ke Waqt Kitna Loss Hota Hai?
Mallika Sochte Hue: “Kam Se Kam 4-5 Lakh Rupaye Ka To Ho Hi Jata Hai

Ab Roz Roz Condom Lagane Se Chutti

Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho
So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi
Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola
Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun
Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?

Bhabhi Ji Se Double Meaning Baat Nahi Karni Chahiye

Ek Naai Ki Dukaan Ke Upar Ghar Tha.
Ek Din Ghar Ki Ek Aurat Ne Bahar Ki Taraf Apni Sadi Sukhne Ke Liye Dali.
Dukan Mein Andhera Ho Gaya To Naai Ne Jor Se Awaaz Lagayi.
Naai: “Bhabhi  Ji, Sadi Uper Utha Lo Mene Baal Kaatne Hai

Qurbani Dene Se Kya Milega?

Ek Molvi Samne Bethe Kuch Budhe Logo Ko Updesh De Raha Tha
Molvi: “Qurbani Doge To Jannat Mein Jaaoge, Wahan Khoob Hoor Pariya Milengi
Piche Betha Ek Budha Bola: “Par Molvi Ji, Vaha Viagra Kon Dega?

Bandar Ne Sher Ki Gaand Mar Li

Ek Baar Sher Ke Man Mein Sex Karne Ki Aa Gayi To Wo Bander Ko Bola.
Sher: “Aaja Gand Maarna Khelte Hai
Bander: “Pehle Main Marunga
Sher Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bola: “Theek Hai
Bander Ne Ek Ghante Tak Sher Ki Tasalli Se Maari Aur Maarne Ke Baad Bhaag Gaya.
Sher Ko Bada Gussa Aya Aur Vo Bhi Uske Piche Bhaag Liya.
Dhundte Dhundte Sher Ek Gaanv Mein Pahucha.
Wahaa Ek Aadmi Nahane Ki Taiyari Mein Apne Kapde Aur Newspaper Table Par Rakh Kar Nahane Chala Gaya.
Bander Ne Dekha Aur Uske Kapde Pahne Aur Newspaper Padne Ka Natak Karte Hue Table Par Beth Gaya.
Itne Mein Sher Bhaga-Bhaga Aaya Aur Bahar Bethe Bander Se Puchha.
Sher: “Aapne Kisi Bander Ko Jate Hue Dekha Hai?
Bander: “Wahi Bander Na, Jisne Aapki Gaand Mari Hai?”
Sher Ke To Tote Udd Gaye Aur Hairani Se Bola: “Ji, Par Aap Ko Kaise Pata Chala
Bander: “Akhbar Mein Headline Hai – Bander Ne Sher Ki Maar Li.

Friday 2 March 2012

Gareeb Hun To Kuch Bhi Bol Dega Kya?

Apne Baap Ke Marne Ke Baad Uska Beta Uski Jagha Gaanv Ka Chaudhary Bana
Ek Bar Vo Gaanv Mein Ghumne Nikla To Usko Ek Aadmi Dikha Jiski Shakal Us Se Milti Thi
Uska Majak Udhane Ke Liye Chaudhary Bola: “Lagta Hai Tumhari Maa Hamari Haveli Mein Naukrani Thi
Aadmi Ne Badi Hi Ijjat Se Muskura Ke Jawab Diya
Aadmi: “Ji Nahi, Par Mere Pita Ji Aapki Haveli Mein Kaam Karte The

Gaand Mar Dunga Sali Ki

Pathan Miya Biwi Mein Jagda Ho Raha Tha Aur Baat Gali Gloch Tak Aa Gayi Thi.
Pathan Tang Aakar Gusse Se Chillaya
Pathan: “Chup Kar Ja Haramjadi Nahi To Gaand Mar Dunga
Biwi Rote Hue: “Yahi To Problem Hai, Aage Ki Sochte Nahi Ho Bas Piche Pade Rahte Ho

Zindagi Luta Di Sirf Tere Liye.

Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.
Ek Din Minister Ka Najane Kya Mood Bana Or Usne Patni Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.
Minister: “Sach Sach Batao Tumne Hamare Sath Kitni Baar Bewafayi Ki Hai?
Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: “Ji Sirf 3 Baar
Minister Man Hi Man Mein Khush Hua Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki, Fir Bhi Usne Pucha
Minister: “Kab Kab
Patni: “Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka Operation Hua Tha To Main Shehar Ke Sabse Bade Dr. Ko Manane Gayi Thhi
Minister: “Hmm
Patni: “Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein Band The Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The To Judge Ke Pass Gayi Thi
Minister: “Aur Teesri Bar
Patni Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur Aapke Pas 76 Mlas Kam The…

Eent Ka Jawab Pathar Se Diya

Ek Baar Ek Amir Aadmi Apni Biwi Ko Five Star Hotel Mein Khana Khilane Le Jata Hai,
Order Dene Ke Kafi Der Baad Bhi Jab Khana Nahi Aaya To Tang Aakar Usne Waiter Ko Jaldi Khana Lane Ko Bola.
Waiter Abhi Leke Aata Hun Kah Kar Chala Jata Hai Par Phir Aadha Ganta Gujar Jata Hai
Ab Aadmi Tang Aakar Utha Aur Apni Biwi Ko Lekar Kisi Aur Hotel Mein Khana Khane Le Jane Laga.
Tabi Waiter Bill Lekar Aaya Aur Bola: “Sir Aapka Bill
Aadmi Hairan Hokar: “Khana To Mene Khaya Nahi Phir Ye Bill Kis Baat Ka?
Waiter Bola: “Khana Khao Ya Na Khao, Khana To Tayaar Hai
Baat Jagde Tak Pahunch Jati Hai To Hotel Ka Manager Ye Sun Kar Aa Jata Hai Aur Bolta Hai,
Manager: “Sir, Khana Khao Ya Na Khao Par Khana To Tyaar Hai
Aadmi Ye Sun Kar Manager Ko Do Thappad Maarta Hai Aur Bola: “Sale, Hotel Ke Malik Ko Bula
Hotel Ka Malik Aajata Hai Aur Puchta Hai: “Aapne Mere Manager Ko Kyun Mara?
Aadmi Bola: “Isne Meri Biwi Ko Cheda Tha
Itna Sun Kar Manager Hairan Hokar Bola: “Mene Aapki Biwi Ko Kab Cheda?
Aadmi: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ched Ya Mat Ched Wo To Tyaar Hai

Moke Ka Fayda Is Tarha Se Uthaye

Rohit Mishra Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha.
Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi.
Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: “Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?
Malik Bola: “Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha Apne Paas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.
Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya.
Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo.
Rohit Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe Laga Ke Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai.
Wo Boli: “Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.
Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha.
Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha.
Rohit Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya,
Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye.
Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski Behen Sab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The.
Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke Baad,
Rohit Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Jab Rohit Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi.
Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline Ki Dibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola
Baap: “Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun

Moke Ka Fayda Is Tarha Se Uthaye

Rohit Mishra Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha.
Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi.
Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: “Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?
Malik Bola: “Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha Apne Paas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.
Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya.
Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo.
Rohit Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe Laga Ke Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai.
Wo Boli: “Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.
Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha.
Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha.
Rohit Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya,
Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye.
Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski Behen Sab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The.
Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke Baad,
Rohit Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Jab Rohit Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi.
Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline Ki Dibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola
Baap: “Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun

Doctor Ka Gussa Najayaz Tha

Santa Badi Roni Si Surat Bana Kar Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya
Rote Hue Doctor Ko Apni Problem Batane Laga
Santa: “Main Sidha Khada Hokar Halka Sa Jhuk Kar…
Apni Left Leg Ghutne Se Modkar Sidha Karta Hoon…
Fir Right Leg Ko Ghutne Se Modkar Sidha Karta Hoon…
Tab Kamar Mein Bahut Dard Hota Hai…
Doctor Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Mein Bola: “Achha, Par Aisa Tu Apni Gaand Marwane Ke Liye Karta Hai?
Santa: “To Bhosdi Ke Underwear Kaise Pehnu

Baba Saxidas Ji Ki Beemari Aur Ilaaj

Ek Baar Baba Saxidas Bahut Hi Bimaar Pad Gaye Aur Unko Kaafi Doctors Ko Dhikhaya Par Koi Farak Nahi Pada.
Baba Ji Ke Ek Khaas Chele Ko Yaad Aaya Ki Baba Ji Ke Khas Hakeem Ji Hai, Unko To Abhi Tak Dikhya Hi Nahi Gaya.
Usne Hakeem Ko Bulvaya Aur Baba Saxidas Ki Halat Ke Bare Mein Bataya.
Hakeem Ne Baba Ji Ko Check Kiya Aur Bataya Ki Sex Na Karne Ki Vajah Se Andkosh Mein Virya Jam Gya Hai,
Aur Iska Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai Ki Baba Ji Kam Se Kam Teen-Chaar Din Jam Kar Sex Kare.
Ab Smasya Thi Ki Baba Ji Ko Ye Baat Kon Bataye, Himmat Kar Ke Chela Baba Ji Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Chela: “Baba Aapko Jo Bimaari Hui Hai Wo Bilkul Hi Theek Ho Jayegi
Baba Saxidas: “Kya Dvaai Bataai Hai?
Chela: “Baba Aapko Sirf Teen-Chaar Din Sex Karna Padega
Baba Saxidas: “Ye Nahi Ho Sakta Main Baal-Brahmchari Hun
Chela: “Lekin Baba Apni Health Ke Liye Ek Dava Ke Tor Par To Kar Hi Sakte Ho
Baba Saxidas: “Nahi Ye Kaam Main Kisi Bhi Surat Mein Nahi Kar Sakta
Chela Wapas Chala Jata Hai Aur Bada Pareshan Ho Jata Hai, Par Achanak Se Hi Usko Ek Idea Aata Hai Aur Wo Bhukh Hadtaal Par Beth Jata Hai.
Baba Ji Ko Ye Bat Pata Chali To Unhone Use Apne Pass Bulvaya.
Baba Saxidas: “Tum Bhukh Hadtaal Kyo Kar Rahe Ho?
Chela: “Baba Ji Aap Apna Ilaaj Nahi Karwa Rahe To Ham Apne Praan Tyaag Denge
Baba Saxidas: “Achha Theek Hai Main Apna Ilaaj Karwa Leta Hoon Par Uske Liye Kuch Sharte Hai
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Aap Apni Sharte Bata De
Baba Saxidas: “Jo Bhi Ladki Mere Sath Sex Ke Liye Lekar Aao Wo Andhi Honi Chahiye Taki Wo Hamein Dekh Na Sake
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji
Baba Saxidas: “Aur Wo Ladki Behri Bhi Honi Chahiye Taki Hamari Awaaz Ko Na Sun Sake
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Wo Ladki Andhi Aur Behri Hogi
Baba Saxidas: “Aur Wo Ladki Gungi Bhi Honi Chahiye Taki Kisi Bhi Tarah Is Sex Ke Bare Mein Kisi Ko Bata Na Sake
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Wo Ladki Andhi, Behri Aur Gungi Hogi
Baba Saxidas: “Ek Aur Sabse Jaruri Shart Bhi Hai Hamari
Chela: “Wo Kya Hai Baba Ji?
Baba Saxidas Chele Ko Ankh Marte Hue Bole: “Ladki Ek Dam Jhakkas Maal Honi Chahiye

Sach Bolne Wala Nauker

Maalik Guuse Se Chillata Hua Naukar Ko Bola.
Maalik: “Tum Bathroom Mein Sidha Guss Aye, Kya Tumhe Pata Nahi Tha Ki Main Naha Raha Hun?
Naukar Ghabrate Hue Bola: “Saab Ji Galti Ho Gayi, Main Samjha Tha Ki Madam Naha Rahi Hai

Police Se Bachne Ki Tarkib, Khas Ashiqo Ke Liye

Police Ne Park Mein Do Ladke Aur Ek Ladki Ko Pakda,
Aur Pakad Ke Police Station Le Aaye Aur Inspector Ke Aage Pesh Kiya.
Inspector Ne Ek Ladke Se Puchha: “Kya Nam Hai Tera Aur Tu Udhar Kya Kar Raha Tha?
Ladka Darte Darte Bola: “Sir, Mera Naam Rathee Hai Aur Main Bansuri Baja Raha Tha
Inspector: “Ok, Tum Jao
Fir Dusre Ko Bulaya Aur Us Se Puchha: “Tera Kya Naam Hai Be Aur Tu Udhar Kya Kar Raha Tha
Ladka Ghabrate Hue: “Sir Ji, Mera Naam Nilesh Hai Aur Main Bhi Bansuri Baja Raha Tha
Ispector: “Hmm, Chal Tu Bhi Ja
Ab Inspector Ne Ladki Ko Bulvaya Aur Pucha: “Tum Bhi Bansuri Baja Rahi Thi Kya?
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Nahi Ji, Mera Hi Naam Bansuri Hai

Jasoos Pati Ki Jasoosi Kam Na Aayi

Ek Aadmi Apni Patni Par Bahut Shak Karta Tha Ki Uska Kisi Aur Ke Sath Chakkar Hai.
Lekin Patni Aisi Nahi Thi Phir Bhi Wo Aadmi Apni Patni Ko Roz Satata Aur Kehta,
Pati: “Main Bhi Bahut Bada Jaasoos Hun, Tera Pakka Bahar Kisi Ke Sath Chakkar Hai
Preshan Ho Kar Patni Ne Apne Pati Ko Sabak Sikhane Ki Sochi, Usne Ek Jawan Pados Ke Ladke Se Dosti Ki,
Aur Pati Ki Chutti Wale Din Dopehar Ke Samaye Use Bula Kar Bathroom Mein Chupa Diya Aur Khud Rasoi Mein Aata Gunthne Lagi.
Aata Gunthte-Gunthte Bheech Mein Wo Apne Pati Ke Paas Aayi Aur Boli
Patni: “Mere Hathon Mein Aata Laga Hai Aur Mujhe Bohat Jor Se Peshab Aaya Hai, Jara Meri Salwaar Ka Nala Khol Do
Pati Ne Uski Salwaar Ka Nala Khol Diya. Patni Bathroom Mein Chali Gayi, Thodi Dair Baad Phir Aayi Aur Apne Pati Se Boli,
Patni: “Mera Nala Bandh Do
Pati Ne Salwaar Ka Nala Bandh Diya, Uske Baad Patni Boli,
Patni: “Bhonsdi Ke Apne Aap Ko Bada Jasoos Samjhte Ho, Ab Kaha Gayi Tumhari Jasoosi?
Pati Hairan Ho Gaya Aur Usne Puchha: “Kyu Kya Hua?
Patni Uska Majak Udate Hue: “Tumne Apne Hath Se Meri Salwaar Kholi, Main Bathroom Mein Apne Yaar Se Chudva Ke Aayi, Phir Tumne Hi Apne Hathon Se Meri Salwaar Bandhi, Tumhe Kuch Pata Chla Ki Main Apne Yaar Se Chud Aayi?