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Friday 2 March 2012

Gareeb Hun To Kuch Bhi Bol Dega Kya?

Apne Baap Ke Marne Ke Baad Uska Beta Uski Jagha Gaanv Ka Chaudhary Bana
Ek Bar Vo Gaanv Mein Ghumne Nikla To Usko Ek Aadmi Dikha Jiski Shakal Us Se Milti Thi
Uska Majak Udhane Ke Liye Chaudhary Bola: “Lagta Hai Tumhari Maa Hamari Haveli Mein Naukrani Thi
Aadmi Ne Badi Hi Ijjat Se Muskura Ke Jawab Diya
Aadmi: “Ji Nahi, Par Mere Pita Ji Aapki Haveli Mein Kaam Karte The

Gaand Mar Dunga Sali Ki

Pathan Miya Biwi Mein Jagda Ho Raha Tha Aur Baat Gali Gloch Tak Aa Gayi Thi.
Pathan Tang Aakar Gusse Se Chillaya
Pathan: “Chup Kar Ja Haramjadi Nahi To Gaand Mar Dunga
Biwi Rote Hue: “Yahi To Problem Hai, Aage Ki Sochte Nahi Ho Bas Piche Pade Rahte Ho

Zindagi Luta Di Sirf Tere Liye.

Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.
Ek Din Minister Ka Najane Kya Mood Bana Or Usne Patni Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.
Minister: “Sach Sach Batao Tumne Hamare Sath Kitni Baar Bewafayi Ki Hai?
Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: “Ji Sirf 3 Baar
Minister Man Hi Man Mein Khush Hua Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki, Fir Bhi Usne Pucha
Minister: “Kab Kab
Patni: “Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka Operation Hua Tha To Main Shehar Ke Sabse Bade Dr. Ko Manane Gayi Thhi
Minister: “Hmm
Patni: “Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein Band The Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The To Judge Ke Pass Gayi Thi
Minister: “Aur Teesri Bar
Patni Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur Aapke Pas 76 Mlas Kam The…

Eent Ka Jawab Pathar Se Diya

Ek Baar Ek Amir Aadmi Apni Biwi Ko Five Star Hotel Mein Khana Khilane Le Jata Hai,
Order Dene Ke Kafi Der Baad Bhi Jab Khana Nahi Aaya To Tang Aakar Usne Waiter Ko Jaldi Khana Lane Ko Bola.
Waiter Abhi Leke Aata Hun Kah Kar Chala Jata Hai Par Phir Aadha Ganta Gujar Jata Hai
Ab Aadmi Tang Aakar Utha Aur Apni Biwi Ko Lekar Kisi Aur Hotel Mein Khana Khane Le Jane Laga.
Tabi Waiter Bill Lekar Aaya Aur Bola: “Sir Aapka Bill
Aadmi Hairan Hokar: “Khana To Mene Khaya Nahi Phir Ye Bill Kis Baat Ka?
Waiter Bola: “Khana Khao Ya Na Khao, Khana To Tayaar Hai
Baat Jagde Tak Pahunch Jati Hai To Hotel Ka Manager Ye Sun Kar Aa Jata Hai Aur Bolta Hai,
Manager: “Sir, Khana Khao Ya Na Khao Par Khana To Tyaar Hai
Aadmi Ye Sun Kar Manager Ko Do Thappad Maarta Hai Aur Bola: “Sale, Hotel Ke Malik Ko Bula
Hotel Ka Malik Aajata Hai Aur Puchta Hai: “Aapne Mere Manager Ko Kyun Mara?
Aadmi Bola: “Isne Meri Biwi Ko Cheda Tha
Itna Sun Kar Manager Hairan Hokar Bola: “Mene Aapki Biwi Ko Kab Cheda?
Aadmi: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ched Ya Mat Ched Wo To Tyaar Hai

Moke Ka Fayda Is Tarha Se Uthaye

Rohit Mishra Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha.
Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi.
Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: “Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?
Malik Bola: “Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha Apne Paas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.
Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya.
Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo.
Rohit Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe Laga Ke Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai.
Wo Boli: “Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.
Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha.
Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha.
Rohit Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya,
Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye.
Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski Behen Sab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The.
Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke Baad,
Rohit Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Jab Rohit Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi.
Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline Ki Dibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola
Baap: “Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun

Moke Ka Fayda Is Tarha Se Uthaye

Rohit Mishra Apne Liye Ek Purani Bike Dhund Raha Thha.
Ek Din Use Aisi Bike Mili Jiski Condition Bilkul Nayi Se Bhi Achhi Thi.
Usne Use Kharidte Samaye Uske Malik Se Pucha: “Yaar, Ye Itni Nayi Kaise Lagti Hai?
Malik Bola: “Ek Vesline Ki Dibbi Hamesha Apne Paas Rakho, Aur Jese Hi Barish Shuru Ho Iske Uppar Vesline Laga Do Hamesha Nayi Jaisi Hi Rahegi.
Nayi Jaisi Bike Leke Usne Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhayi Aur Usko Ghumane Le Gaya.
Vapis Jab Use Ghar Chhod Raha Tha To Girlfriend Boli Ki Aaj Raat Ko Tum Hamare Ghar Par Hi Dinner Karo.
Rohit Man Gaya Aur Bike Ko Stand Pe Laga Ke Jaisi Hi Ander Jane Laga To Uski Girl Friend Ne Ek Ajeeb Baat Batai.
Wo Boli: “Hamare Ghar Mein Khana Khane Ke Time Par Jo Bhi Kuch Bolega Use Ghar Ke Saare Bartan Manjhne Padte Hai, Isliye Khana Khate Samaye Kuch Bhi Mat Bolna.
Uski Baat Sun Kar Ok Bola, Par Jaisi Hi Ander Ghusa Dekh Kar Hairan Rah Gaya, Ghar Ke Har Kone Mein Juthe Bartno Ka Dher Laga Hua Tha.
Bina Kuch Bole Dining Table Pe Beth Gaya, Sabhi Log Chupchap Khana Khane Lage, Koi Kuch Nahi Bol Raha Tha.
Rohit Ka Dimag Ab Kaam Kiya Aur Usne Moke Ka Fayada Uthate Hue Apni Girl Friend Ko Kiss Kiya,
Uske Kapde Utarne Shuru Kiye Phir Wo Dono Khana Bhul Kar Sex Mein Lag Gaye.
Woh Dono Jameen Par Hi Sex Karne Lage Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Uski Girl Friend Ki Maa, Uska Baap, Uski Behen Sab Ye Tamasha Dekh Rahe The.
Par Bartan Manjhne Ke Darr Se Sabhi Chup The. Girl Friend Ko Achhi Tarah Chodne Ke Baad,
Rohit Ne Uski Behen Ko Bhi Chodna Shuru Kar Diya Par Koi Kuch Nahi Bola.
Jab Rohit Uski Maa Ko Chod Chuka Hi Tha Tabhi Jor Se Barish Hone Lagi, Aur Use Apni Bike Ki Fikar Hone Lagi.
Usne Tezi Se Jeb Mein Hath Dala Aur Vesline Ki Dibbi Nikali Hi Thi Ki. Ladki Ka Baap Chilla Kar Bola
Baap: “Nahi Nahi, Mein Bartan Manjhne Ke Liye Tyaar Hun

Doctor Ka Gussa Najayaz Tha

Santa Badi Roni Si Surat Bana Kar Ek Doctor Ke Pass Gaya
Rote Hue Doctor Ko Apni Problem Batane Laga
Santa: “Main Sidha Khada Hokar Halka Sa Jhuk Kar…
Apni Left Leg Ghutne Se Modkar Sidha Karta Hoon…
Fir Right Leg Ko Ghutne Se Modkar Sidha Karta Hoon…
Tab Kamar Mein Bahut Dard Hota Hai…
Doctor Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Mein Bola: “Achha, Par Aisa Tu Apni Gaand Marwane Ke Liye Karta Hai?
Santa: “To Bhosdi Ke Underwear Kaise Pehnu

Baba Saxidas Ji Ki Beemari Aur Ilaaj

Ek Baar Baba Saxidas Bahut Hi Bimaar Pad Gaye Aur Unko Kaafi Doctors Ko Dhikhaya Par Koi Farak Nahi Pada.
Baba Ji Ke Ek Khaas Chele Ko Yaad Aaya Ki Baba Ji Ke Khas Hakeem Ji Hai, Unko To Abhi Tak Dikhya Hi Nahi Gaya.
Usne Hakeem Ko Bulvaya Aur Baba Saxidas Ki Halat Ke Bare Mein Bataya.
Hakeem Ne Baba Ji Ko Check Kiya Aur Bataya Ki Sex Na Karne Ki Vajah Se Andkosh Mein Virya Jam Gya Hai,
Aur Iska Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai Ki Baba Ji Kam Se Kam Teen-Chaar Din Jam Kar Sex Kare.
Ab Smasya Thi Ki Baba Ji Ko Ye Baat Kon Bataye, Himmat Kar Ke Chela Baba Ji Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Chela: “Baba Aapko Jo Bimaari Hui Hai Wo Bilkul Hi Theek Ho Jayegi
Baba Saxidas: “Kya Dvaai Bataai Hai?
Chela: “Baba Aapko Sirf Teen-Chaar Din Sex Karna Padega
Baba Saxidas: “Ye Nahi Ho Sakta Main Baal-Brahmchari Hun
Chela: “Lekin Baba Apni Health Ke Liye Ek Dava Ke Tor Par To Kar Hi Sakte Ho
Baba Saxidas: “Nahi Ye Kaam Main Kisi Bhi Surat Mein Nahi Kar Sakta
Chela Wapas Chala Jata Hai Aur Bada Pareshan Ho Jata Hai, Par Achanak Se Hi Usko Ek Idea Aata Hai Aur Wo Bhukh Hadtaal Par Beth Jata Hai.
Baba Ji Ko Ye Bat Pata Chali To Unhone Use Apne Pass Bulvaya.
Baba Saxidas: “Tum Bhukh Hadtaal Kyo Kar Rahe Ho?
Chela: “Baba Ji Aap Apna Ilaaj Nahi Karwa Rahe To Ham Apne Praan Tyaag Denge
Baba Saxidas: “Achha Theek Hai Main Apna Ilaaj Karwa Leta Hoon Par Uske Liye Kuch Sharte Hai
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Aap Apni Sharte Bata De
Baba Saxidas: “Jo Bhi Ladki Mere Sath Sex Ke Liye Lekar Aao Wo Andhi Honi Chahiye Taki Wo Hamein Dekh Na Sake
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji
Baba Saxidas: “Aur Wo Ladki Behri Bhi Honi Chahiye Taki Hamari Awaaz Ko Na Sun Sake
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Wo Ladki Andhi Aur Behri Hogi
Baba Saxidas: “Aur Wo Ladki Gungi Bhi Honi Chahiye Taki Kisi Bhi Tarah Is Sex Ke Bare Mein Kisi Ko Bata Na Sake
Chela: “Theek Hai Baba Ji Wo Ladki Andhi, Behri Aur Gungi Hogi
Baba Saxidas: “Ek Aur Sabse Jaruri Shart Bhi Hai Hamari
Chela: “Wo Kya Hai Baba Ji?
Baba Saxidas Chele Ko Ankh Marte Hue Bole: “Ladki Ek Dam Jhakkas Maal Honi Chahiye

Sach Bolne Wala Nauker

Maalik Guuse Se Chillata Hua Naukar Ko Bola.
Maalik: “Tum Bathroom Mein Sidha Guss Aye, Kya Tumhe Pata Nahi Tha Ki Main Naha Raha Hun?
Naukar Ghabrate Hue Bola: “Saab Ji Galti Ho Gayi, Main Samjha Tha Ki Madam Naha Rahi Hai

Police Se Bachne Ki Tarkib, Khas Ashiqo Ke Liye

Police Ne Park Mein Do Ladke Aur Ek Ladki Ko Pakda,
Aur Pakad Ke Police Station Le Aaye Aur Inspector Ke Aage Pesh Kiya.
Inspector Ne Ek Ladke Se Puchha: “Kya Nam Hai Tera Aur Tu Udhar Kya Kar Raha Tha?
Ladka Darte Darte Bola: “Sir, Mera Naam Rathee Hai Aur Main Bansuri Baja Raha Tha
Inspector: “Ok, Tum Jao
Fir Dusre Ko Bulaya Aur Us Se Puchha: “Tera Kya Naam Hai Be Aur Tu Udhar Kya Kar Raha Tha
Ladka Ghabrate Hue: “Sir Ji, Mera Naam Nilesh Hai Aur Main Bhi Bansuri Baja Raha Tha
Ispector: “Hmm, Chal Tu Bhi Ja
Ab Inspector Ne Ladki Ko Bulvaya Aur Pucha: “Tum Bhi Bansuri Baja Rahi Thi Kya?
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Nahi Ji, Mera Hi Naam Bansuri Hai

Jasoos Pati Ki Jasoosi Kam Na Aayi

Ek Aadmi Apni Patni Par Bahut Shak Karta Tha Ki Uska Kisi Aur Ke Sath Chakkar Hai.
Lekin Patni Aisi Nahi Thi Phir Bhi Wo Aadmi Apni Patni Ko Roz Satata Aur Kehta,
Pati: “Main Bhi Bahut Bada Jaasoos Hun, Tera Pakka Bahar Kisi Ke Sath Chakkar Hai
Preshan Ho Kar Patni Ne Apne Pati Ko Sabak Sikhane Ki Sochi, Usne Ek Jawan Pados Ke Ladke Se Dosti Ki,
Aur Pati Ki Chutti Wale Din Dopehar Ke Samaye Use Bula Kar Bathroom Mein Chupa Diya Aur Khud Rasoi Mein Aata Gunthne Lagi.
Aata Gunthte-Gunthte Bheech Mein Wo Apne Pati Ke Paas Aayi Aur Boli
Patni: “Mere Hathon Mein Aata Laga Hai Aur Mujhe Bohat Jor Se Peshab Aaya Hai, Jara Meri Salwaar Ka Nala Khol Do
Pati Ne Uski Salwaar Ka Nala Khol Diya. Patni Bathroom Mein Chali Gayi, Thodi Dair Baad Phir Aayi Aur Apne Pati Se Boli,
Patni: “Mera Nala Bandh Do
Pati Ne Salwaar Ka Nala Bandh Diya, Uske Baad Patni Boli,
Patni: “Bhonsdi Ke Apne Aap Ko Bada Jasoos Samjhte Ho, Ab Kaha Gayi Tumhari Jasoosi?
Pati Hairan Ho Gaya Aur Usne Puchha: “Kyu Kya Hua?
Patni Uska Majak Udate Hue: “Tumne Apne Hath Se Meri Salwaar Kholi, Main Bathroom Mein Apne Yaar Se Chudva Ke Aayi, Phir Tumne Hi Apne Hathon Se Meri Salwaar Bandhi, Tumhe Kuch Pata Chla Ki Main Apne Yaar Se Chud Aayi?