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Friday 27 April 2012

Tight Chut Ka Maja Kaise Le?

Santa Roz Biwi Ko Sex Ke Waqt Bolta Tha.
Santa: “Aur Tight Kar – Aur Tight Kar, Achhe Se Tight Kar
Biwi Tang Aakar Ek Din Gusse Se Boli: “Bhosdi Ke Bahar Jaa Ke Ganne Ke Juice Ki Machine Main Dal Le, Tight Bhi Pura Hoga Aur Juice Bhi Jyada Niklega

Mujhe Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikhayi De Raha

Ek Bar Santa Ki Eyes Mein Kuch Problem Aa Gayi, To Uska Eyes Ka Operation Karna Pada.
Operation Ho Gaya To Santa Ne Socha Ki Chalo Paisi Bachaye Jaye.
Doctor Ne Uski Aankho Ki Patti Kholni Shuru Ki, Aur Pucha
Doctor: “Kaisa Dikh Raha Hai Ab Aapko?
Santa: “Doctor Saab Mujhe Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha
Doctor Ne Uski Aankhein Saanf Ki Or Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Dr. Saab Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikh Raha
Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Apni Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Apne Kapde Utare, Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha Ji
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Bra And Panty Utarne Ko Kaha, Aur Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Nahi Ji Sab Kuch Kaala Kaala Hai
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Santa Ke Samne Jake Apne Boobs Hilaye Aur Choot Mein Ungli Dale.
Nurse Ne Esa Kiya, Doctor Ne Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Doctor Saab Sach Mein Mujhe Kuch Najar Nahi Aa Raha
Doctor Ne Santa Ko Zor Se Thappar Mara Aur Bola.
Doctor: “Bhonsdi Ke Kuch Bhi Nazar Nahi Aa Raha To, Tera Lund Kaisi Khada Ho Gaya Hai?

Kaam Pura Dhyan Laga Ke Karna Chahiye

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Ne Apni Naabhi Ke Neeche Chidiya Ka Tattoo Banwaya Tha
Ek Din Pappu Ke Sath Sex Karne Ke Baad Usne Pappu Se Pucha.
Ladki: “Tumne Chidiya Dekhi?
Pappu: “Nahi Mera Saara Dhyan Ghosle Mein Tha

Thursday 26 April 2012

Ab Upvas Bhi Hoga Khaas

Kya Aap Bhi Pareshan Hai Ese Dialogs Se
Aaj Nahi, Aaj To Mera Vrat Hai
Gabraye Nahi, Ab Aise Dino Ke Liye Jaldi Hi Aa Raha Hai
Manforce Condom In Sabudana Flavor,
Only For Fasting Days,
Ab Upvas Bhi Hoga Khaas.

How To Make Younger Wife Pregnant

There Was An Elderly Man Who Wanted To Make His Younger Wife Pregnant.
So, He Went To The Doctor To Have A Sperm Count Done.
The Doctor Told Him To Take A Specimen Cup Home, Fill It, And Bring It Back The Next Day.
He Elderly Man Came Back The Next Day And The Specimen Cup Was Empty And The Lid Was On It.
Doctor: “What Was The Problem?
Elderly Man: “Well, You I Tried With My Right Hand…Nothing. So, I Tried With My Left Hand…Nothing. My Wife Tried With Her Right Hand…Nothing. Her Left Hand…Nothing. Her Mouth…Nothing. Then My Wife’s Friend Tried. Right Hand, Left Hand, Mouth…Still Nothing.”
Doctor: “Wait A Minute. You Mean Your Wife’s Friend Too?
Elderly Man: “Yeah, And We Still Couldn’t Get The Lid Off Of The Specimen Cup

Nirmal Baba Ka Upaye Biwiyo Ke Liye

Ek Baar Ek Aurat Badi Pareshani Ki HaalaT Mein Nirmal Baba Ke Pass Gayi Aur Rote Hue Apna Dukhda Boli
Aurat: “Baba Ji Meri Madad Karo
Nirmal Baba: “Kya Hua Bachha?
Aurat: “Mera Pati Roj Rat Ko Ghar Late Aata Hai
Nirmal Baba: “Ek Kam Karo, Ghar Ke Bahar Ek Board Laga Do
Aurat: “Ji Kaisa Board?
Nirmal Baba: “Yahi Ki, Raat Ko 9 Baje Sex Shuru, Pati Ghar Ho Ya Na Ho

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Pakistani Urdu Vs India Ki Hindi & Punajbi

Bhai Jan Aap Mujhe Pareshan Kar Rahe Hain / Yaar Tune Kya Meri Gaand Leni Kar Rakhi Hai /yaar Tu Ki Bund Leni Kitti Aa
Maine Apko Kya Keh Diya / Maine Konsa Teri Gaand Mar Li / Mein Ki Teri Bund Marli
Main Apko Abhi Theek Karta Hoon / Ruk Abhi Teri Bahan Ko Lund Deta Hun / Dena Haan Teri Bhen Nu Lun
Ye Sab Kisne Kiya / Ye Kisne Maa Chudvayi Hai / Aa Kine Ma Chudai Aa
Main Apko Pasand Nahi Karta / Main Teri Gaand Bhi Nahi Maarta / Main Teri Bund Vi Ni Marda
Aap Mere Sath Itna Free Kyun Ho Rahein Hai / Abe Mere Lund Pe Kyu Chadi Jaa Raha Hai / Lun Te Ki Chari Janaa
Aap Bahut Chalak Insaan Ho / Tu Bahut Bada Bahan Ka Lund Hai / Tu Pura Haraam Da E

Buro Kamo Ki Saza Itni Jaldi Nahi Milti

Ek Baar Ek Callgirl Jisne Sex Karne Ke Record Tode The,
Achanak Zindagi Se Tang Aakar Suicide Karne Ke Liye Station Gayi,
Aur Taangein Pasaar Kar Patri Par Baith Gayi,
Aur Agle Din Subah Paper Ki Headline Thi “Train Lapata Hai

Tuesday 24 April 2012

Dimag Ho Aisa To Kaise Na Mile Choot

Ek Baar Ek Aadmi Apne Dost Ke Ghar Jata Hai.
Par Uska Dost Ghar Par Nahi Hota Kisi Kam Se Bahar Market Tak Gaya Hota Hai.
Aadmi Uski Biwi Se Puchta Hai: “Aapke Pati Kab Tak Aa Jayenge?
Aurat Bolti Hai: “1 Gante Tak Aa Jayenge
Aadmi: “Chalo Thodi Der Yahi Pe Unka Intzar Kar Leta Hoon
Aadmi Wahi Sofe Pe Beth Jata Hai, Thodi Der Baad Dost Ki Biwi Se Bolta Hai.
Dost: “Babhi Ji, Agar Aap Mujhe Apna Ek Boob Dikhayengi To Mein Aapko 500 Rupaye Dunga
Pahle To Aurat Sochti Hai Ki Sala Kya Bakwas Kar Raha Hai, Fir Socha Ki Sirf Ek Boob Hi To Dikhana Hai.
Aurat Apna Ek Boob Dikha Deti Hai Aur 500 Rupaye Le Leti Hai.
Thodi Der Baad Aadmi Phir Puchta Hai: “Agar Aap Mujhe Apne Dono Boobs Dikhayengi To Mein 500 Rupaye Aur Dunga
Aurat Ye Sunkar Jaldi Se Dono Boobs Dikha Deti Hai Aur 500 Rupaye Le Leti Hai.
Aadmi Phir Bola: “1500 Rupaye Aur Dunga Agar Inhe Chussne Do To
Aurat Ne Socha Choosna Hi To Hai 1500 Rupaye Bhi Mil Jayenge.
Aurat Ne Jaldi Se Apni Shirt Utari Aur Boli: “Ye Lo Choos Lo
Aadmi Choosne Laga Use Aur Maja Aaya. Thodi Der Choosne Ke Baad Phir Kaha.
Aadmi: “2500 Rupaye Dunga Chut Bhi Dikha Do
Aurat Ne Socha Ki Sirf Dikhani Hi To Hai 2500 Rss Mill Jayenge, Khoob Achi Shopping Karungi, Aurat Ne Jeans Utaar Ke Apni Chut Bhi Dikha Di.
Lekin Aadmi Ka Usko Dekhte Hi Sex Karne Ka Man Karne Laga Aur Bola.
Aadmi: “Babhi Ji, Bas Ek Khawish Aur, Agar Aap Sex Karne De To 5000 Rupaye Aur Dunga
Aurat Ne Socha Chalo Ghar Par Bhi Koi Nahi Hai Aur Taste Bhi Change Ho Jayega Aur Paise Bhi Mil Jayenge, Vese Bhi Kisi Ko Kya Pata Lagna Hai
Aadmi Ne Tassali Baksh Us Se Chudayi Ki Aur Sex Karke Paise Dene Ke Baad Bola
Aadmi: “Acha Lagta Hai Unko Der Ho Jayegi Mein Phir Kabhi Aa Jaunga
Aurat Khushi Se Boli: “Haan Ji Jaroor-Jaroor Aaiyega
Aadmi Ke Niklte Hi Thodi Der Baad Aurat Ka Pati Aa Jata Hai Aur Puchta Hai.
Pati: “Mere Kisi Dost Ne Aakar Tumhe 10000 Rupaye To Nahi Diye, Jo Usne Mujhse Kal Udhar Liye The, Bol Raha Tha Ki Aaj Ghar De Jaunga

Punjabi Shayari For Girlfriend

Chal Ni Kudiye Kachi Khol,
Mumme Tere Gol-Gol,
La Ke Kapde Aaja Kol,
Nange Ho Ke Kariye Ghol,
Ghase Marange Forty-Four,
Munda Hoye Gol-Matol,
Nam Rakhange Sunny Deol.

Monday 23 April 2012

Fauji Aisi To Nahi Hote?

Gaanv Mein Ek Ladki Bhagi Bhagi Ghar Ke Ander Aayi Aur Apni Maa Se Boli
Ladki: “Maan Foji Aa Raha Hai
Maan: “Beti Andar Aaja Fojiyon Ki Niyat Kharab Hoti Hai
Ladki: “Magar Maan Foji Sardar Hai
Maan: “To Phir Bakriyan Bhi Andar Lele
Ladki: “Maan Foji Novjyot Singh Sidhu Hai
Maan: “To Phir Bakriyon Ke Sath Sath Murgiyan Bhi Andar Lele

Kya Se Kya Bana Diya Sajaan Tune Mujhe

Bacha Kuch Sochta Hua Apni Maa Ke Kamre Mein Aya Aur Puchha
Beta: “Mummy, Didi Ko Sab Log Maal Kyun Kehte Hai?
Mummy: “Beta, Shadi Ke Pehle Main Bhi Maal Thi Tere Papa Ne Ghis-Ghis Kar Maal Se L Nikalkar Maa Bana Diya

Sunday 22 April 2012

Kaam Karna Koi Asaan Thode Hai

Office Mein Nayi Secretary Aayi, Aate Hi Usne Boss Se Pucha
Secretary: “Sir, Mujhe Roz Kitne Ghante Bethna Padega?
Boss: “Do Option Hai – Bagal Ke Cabin Mein 10 Ghante, Ya Phir Mere Ghante Pe 10 Minute

This Is Old Man Is So Nice

A Blind Man Was Walking Down The Street With His Dog.
They Stopped At The Corner To Wait For The Passing Traffic.
The Dog, At This Point, Started Pissing On The Mans Leg.
As The Dog Finished The Man Reached Into His Coat Pocket And Pulled Out A Doggie Treat And Started Waving It At The Dog.
A Passerby Saw All The Events Happening And Was Shocked.
He Approached The Blind Man And Asked How He Could Possibly Reward The Dog For Such A Nasty Deed.
The Blind Man Replied “Oh I’m Not Rewarding Him, I’m Just Trying To Find His Head So I Can Kick His Fuckin’ Ass

Saturday 21 April 2012

Biwi Se Syanpanti Nahi Karni Chahiye

"Bahut Se Log Apni Biwiyo Se Syanpanti Karte Hai Aur Sochte Hai Ki Budhu Banaye, Par Is Biwi Ne To Haal Behaal Kar Diye"
Ek Aadmi Fauj Mein Tha Aur Har Mahine Biwi Ko Paise Bheja Karta Tha
Ek Bar Us Ne Apni Biwi Ko Khat Likha: “Is Mahine Salary Ke Badle 100 Kiss Bhej Raha Hoon
Biwi Bhi Puri Tez Thi Palat Ke Jawab Bheja: “Aap Ki Salary Ke Badle 100 Kiss Milay, Hisab Bhej Rahi Hoon:
Doodh Wala 2 Kiss Mein Hi Maan Gaya,
Teacher Ko 7 Deni Padi,
Sabzi Wala 7 Main Nahi Mana To 9 Dene Padi,
Kiryanewala 9 Kiss Se Nahi Mana To Usko 5 Aur Di,
Makaan Malik To Roz 6-7 Le Hi Jata Hai,
Aap Chinta Mat Karna, Mere Pass Approx 35 Aur Hai, Yeh Mahina Aaram Se Kat Jayega.”

Yaar Ese Na Kar Chusne De

Ladki: “Jaanu Mere Muh Mein Daalo, Main Choosungi
Ladka: “Nahi Nahi, Tum Kha Gayi To Main Kya Karunga?
Ladki: “Yaar Itne Kanjus Na Bano, Tum Doosri Cornetto Le Lena

Who Was In Charge?

Once Time All The Organs Of The Body Were Having A Meeting, Trying To Decide Who Was In Charge.
The Brain Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Run All The Body’s Systems, So Without Me Nothing Would Happen
The Heart Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Pump The Blood And Circulate Oxygen All Over The Body, So Without Me You’d All Waste Away.
The Stomach Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Process Food And Give All Of You Energy.
The Rectum Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I’m Responsible For Waste Removal.
All The Other Body Parts Laughed At The Rectum And Insulted Him, So In A Huff, He Shut Down Tight.
Within A Few Days, The Brain Had A Terrible Headache, The Stomach Was Bloated, And The Blood Was Toxic.
Eventually The Other Organs Gave In. They All Agreed That The Rectum Should Be The Boss.
The Moral Of The Story? The Asshole Is Always In Charge.

Din Raat Dikhe Bas Mujhe Ek Hi Cheez

Pappu Ne Santa Se Puchha: “Papa, Mummy Ke Do Aur Cow Ke Chaar Kyu Hote Hai?
Santa: “Madarchod, Kaha Se Sikh Ke Aaya Hai Ye Sab Tu
Pappu: “Papa, Main To Taangon (Legs) Ki Baat Kar Raha Hoon, Apko To Din Raat Bas Chuchi Hi Dikhti Hai

Thursday 19 April 2012

Use With Caution

A Man In Hurry By Mistake Uses Ladies Toilet In A Five Star Hotel.
He Sits Down And Notices 4 Buttons- WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, He Presses WW & He Is Gently Sprayed With Warm Water,
Then WA, A Blast Of Warm Air Dries Him.
Then PP, A Powder Puff Which Left Him Smelling Fresh.
Feeling Pampered He Presses APR.
Next Day He Wakes Up In Hospital.
He Asked the nurse: “What Happened To Me, All I Remember Is I Pressed APR
A Nurse Smiled And Said “APR Meant Automatic Pad Remover Your Cock And Balls Are In This Jar, If You Want, Take Them.”

Tharki Aunti, Pappu Ki Deewani

Jawan Ladka Apni Jawan Aunti Ke Sath Scooter Par Ja Raha Tha,
Jab Bhi Aunti Ke Boobs Uski Kamar Par Lagte To Wo Kahta,
Ladka: “Na Pappu Na Ye Aunti Hai
Ghar Aa Ke Aunti Ne Use Pucha: “Tu Kis Pappu Se Baatein Kar Raha Tha?
Ladke Ne Sharmate Hue Kaha: “Mera Baar-Baar Khada Ho Raha Tha To Main Isko Samjha Raha Tha Ke Pappu Khada Na Ho Ye Aunti Hai
Aunti Khushi Se Boli: “Hat Pagal, Tu Pappu Ko Na Rok, Aunti To Main Teri Hoon Pappu Ki To Nahi

Wednesday 18 April 2012

In Order To Get Good Job

According To William Sexfear Research
In Order To Get Good Job In Good Company A Boy Require 100% Talent.
Where As Girls Require Only 4% Talent .. Remaining Is ( 36 ) )24( ( 36 ) = 96 %

Jaisi Karni Vaisi Hi Bharni Ka Example

Pankaj Naam Ke Ek Ladke Ki Shadi Nahi Ho Rahi Thi, To Usne Apna Dimag Lagaya Aur Poore Sheher Mein Shor Machwa Diya Ke Uske Do Lund Hai.
Fatafatt Kafi Sare Rishte Aane Lage, To Usne Ek Khubsurat Si Ladki Pasand Karke Shadi Kar Li
Suhag Raat Ko Patni Puchati Hai: “Arrey Apka Doosra Lund Kahan Hai?
Pankaj Ne Dimag Lgaya Aur Bola: “Wo Doosra Lund Pados Wale Sharmaji Le Gaye Hai.
Patni Ne Bhi Kaha Chal Koi Baat Nahi Aur Dono Ki Aram Se Zindagi Beetne Lag Gayi
Kuch Dino Ke Baad Pankaj Ko Kisi Kaam Se Shahar Se Bahar Jana Pada, Teen-Chaar Din Ke Baad Aata Hai To Biwi Uske Aate Hi Ladna Shuru Kar Deti Hai.
Pankaj Bechare Ko Samajh Nahi Aati Aur Vo Hairan Hokar Puchta Hai: “Arrey Hua Kya Hai?
Biwi Gusse Se Bolti Hai: “Mene Aap Jaisa Chutiya Dusra Nahi Dekha
Pankaj Ke Tote Udd Gaye Aur Usne Pucha: “Kyu Mene Kya Kiya?
Biwi: “Aap Ne Chota Wala Lund Apne Paas Rakh Liya Aur Badewala Sharma Ji Ko Kyon Diya?

Tuesday 17 April 2012

Fass To Bechara Fir Bhi Gaya

Ek Aadmi Ek Aisi Bus Mein Ghus Gaya Jisme Saare Sardar Hi Bethe Hue The,
Jaisi Hi Vo Ek Seat Pe Betha, Sath Wale Sardar Ne Usko Kaha: “Chal Bhai Ek Joke Suna
Aadmi Bechare Ki To Ye Sunte Hi Fat Gayi, Ki Joke Kaise Sunau?
Saare Joke To Sardaro Pe Hi Hote Hain, Agar Maine Sunaya To Ye Log Mujhe Marne Lagenge.
Usne Mana Kar Diya Ki Mujhe Koi Joke Nahi Aata.
To Sardar Bola: “Saale Joke Sunaa Nahi To Abhi Peetna Shuru Kar Denge
Bechara Aadmi Dar Gaya Aur Usne Apna Dimaag Laga Ke Joke Sunana Shuru Kar Diya,
Woh Bola: “Ek Bihari Tha
Uska Ye Bolna Hi Tha Ki 3-4 Sardaro Ne Use Thappad Marne Shuru Kar Diye,
Aur Bole: “Bhosdi Ke Sardaar Saare Mar Gaye, Jo Tune Iss Joke Mein Bihaari Ko Ghusa Diya.”

Shayari Pyare Se Dost Pe

Chahat Hai Tu,
Hasrat Hai Tu,
Umeed Hai Tu,
Takdir Hai Tu,
Imaan Hai Tu,
Yaar Hai Tu,
Armaan Hai Tu.
Short Form… “C.H.U.T.I.Y.A” Hai Tu.

Monday 16 April 2012

Cricket Ka Deewana Shayar

Mere Lund Ki Bowling Ne Uski Choot Ka Wicket Gira Diya,
Mere Lund Ki Bowling Ne Uski Choot Ka Wicket Gira Diya,
Lekin Taqdir To Dekho…
Uske Baap Ne Abortion Karwa Ke Meri Ball Ko No-Ball Kara Diya.

Tum Logo Ka Hi To Hai

Pappu Ek Din Sadak Par Khada Hokar Peshab Kar Raha Tha.
Ek Ladki Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Se Boli: “Tujhe Sharam Nahi Aati?
Pappu: “Sharm Wali Kon Si Baat Hai, Aap Ke Liye Hi To Isko Utha Rakha Hai, Hamne Kon Sa Gaand Mein Lena Hai

Laga Rah Mere Dost Laga Rah

Jahaan Dosti Waha Pyar,
Jaha Pyar Waha Ishq,
Jaha Ishq Waha Mohabbat,
Jaha Mohabbat Waha Chudai,
Jaha Chudai Waha Dard,
Jaha Dard Waha Zandu Baam,
Ab Sirfrs 19 Rupaye Mein Laga Rah.

Friday 13 April 2012

Ladki Ke Nakhre Chudne Tak

16 Saal Ki Ladki Ke Set Hone Se Chudne Tak 16 Nakhre:
1. Tumne Suna Nahi, Mera Peecha Mat Karo
2. Main Koi Aisi Vesi Nahi Ek Sharif Ladki Hoon
3. Bas Ek Baar Hi I Love You Bolungi
4. Thik Hai Par Sirf Ek Baar Hi Milungi
5. Main Aa To Gayi, Par Kuch Karna Nahi
6. Yaar Sharam Kar Lo, Koi Dekh Lega
7. Bus Uper Uper Se Kar Lo Jo Karna Hai
8. Oye Please Yaar Jeans To Mat Utaro
9. O.K. Udaas Mat Hovo Kar Lo. Bus Ek Baar Hi Karungi
10. Yaar Light Band Kar Do Badi Sharam Aa Rahi Hai
11. Ye To Bahut Lamba Hai, Ander Hi Nahi Jayega
12. Suna Hai Pahli Baar Karne Pe Bada Dard Hota Hai
13. Please Aram Aram Se Karna Zor Se Mat Dalna
14. Ooi Maaa, Bohat Dard Ho Raha Hai Plz Bahar Nikalo
15. Aah Aah Oooh, Please Thoda Sa Aur Ander Dalo Na
16. Bahar Na Nikalo Ander Hi Rahne Do.

Lal Killa Lal Kyun Hai?

Pappu Aur Uski Girlfriend Ek Din School Ke Ground Mein Bethe Thhe
Girlfriend Ne Kuch Sochte Hue Pappu Se Puchha: “Yaar, Ye Lal Killa Lal Kyun Hai?
Pappu Bhi Majak Ke Mood Mein Tha Bola.
Pappu: “Kyunki, Rajnikant Ne Paan Kha Kar Us Par Pichkari Mari Thi, Ab Ye Mat Puchhna Ki Taj Mahal Safed Kyun Hai

Randi Ki Atamkatha Shayarana Andaaz Mein

Main Aayi Shehar Mein Logo Ne Mujhe Ghoora,
Bra Kholi Aur Mera Doodh Pee Gaye Poora,
Ramu Chacha Aaye Aur Mera Daam Bol Diya,
Kuch Kahu Uske Pehle Mera Nada Khol Diya,
Unki Ye Harkat Mujhe Lagi To Bahut Achi Thi,
Agle Hi Pal Unke Hath Mein Meri Kachhi Thi,
Bed Pe Chadar Bichi Rang Birangi Thi,
Kuchh Hi Palon Mein Main Poori Nangi Thi,
Unke Paas Na Koi I-Pill Na Koi Nirodh Tha,
Mere Man Mein Sirf Isi Baat Ka Virodh Tha,
Usne Pakad Ke Mujhe Zor Se Bed Pe Gira Diya
Bina Kuch Kahe Apna Pura Andar Mere Dal Diya
Dard To Hui Mujhe Bahut Par Pee Gayi Main Thodi Thodi
Chacha Ne Ab Dekh Mujhe Kaha Beta Ban Ja Ab Tu Godi
Chudne Se Pehle Jitna Main Darr Aur Gabra Rahi Thi
Ab Utna Aur Jyada Main Uska Apne Ander Le Rahi Thi
Lund Meri Choot Ki Waadiyo Mein Jane Kaha Kho Gaya,
Ab Niche Dekhiye Kahi Aapka Bhi Khada To Nahi Ho Gaya.

Thursday 12 April 2012

Baniye Logo Ki Delivery Itni Sasti Kyu?

Ek Hospital Ke Aage Ek Note Pe Likha Tha Yahan Normal Delivery 500/- Rupaye Mein Hoti Hai Aur Baniye Ki 10/- Rupaye Mein,
Ek Pandit Ne Ye Note Pada Aur Hairan Hokar Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Aur Puchha.
Pandit: “Hamari Itni Mehengi Aur Baniye Ki Itni Sasti Kyun?
Doctor: “Kyun Ki Hamein Baniye Ki Delivery Mein Jayda Kaam Nahi Karna Padta Hai
Pandit: “Wo Kaise ?
Doctor: “Hum Dilevery Ke Samaye Choot Ke Aage 1/- Ka Sikka Dikhate Hai, Aur Baccha Apne Aap Bahar Aa Jata Hai

What A Tester

In An Alcohol Factory The Regular Taster Died And The Director Started Looking For A New One To Hire.
A Drunkard With Ragged – Dirty Look Came To Apply For The Position.
The Director Of The Factory Wondered How To Send Him Away! They Tested Him
They Gave Him A Glass With A Drink – He Tried It And Said, “It’s Red Wine, A Muscat, Three Years Old, Grown On A North Slope, Matured In Steel Containers.” That’s Correct Said The Boss.
Another Glass. “It’s Red Wine, Cabernet, Eight Years Old, A Southwestern Slope, Oak Barrels” “Correct”
Now, The Director Was Astonished – Amazed
He Winked At His Secretary To Suggest Something. She Brought In A Glass Of Urine.
The Alcoholic Tried It ! “It’s Of A Blonde -26 Years Old- Pregnant ! Probably Third Month Now – And If You Don’t Give Me The Job, I’ll Tell Who The Father Is !
He Got The Job

Wednesday 11 April 2012

Kis Desh Ki Police Sabse Bhadiya Hai?

Ek Baar America, Japan Aur India Ke Police Officers Mein Behas Ho Gayi, Ki Kon Sabse Bhadiya Hai.
Har Koi Apne Desh Ki Police Ko Behtar Bata Raha Tha, Akhir Ye Faisla Hua Ki Competition Rakha Jaye.
To Competition Mein Ek Sher Ko Jungle Main Chod Diya,
Aur Chaar Ghante Baad America Ki Police Ko Sher Pakadne Ke Liye Bheja.
America Police Ne 10 Ghante Ke Andar Sher Ko Pakad Liya.
Sher Ko Phir Jungle Main Choda Gaya Aur Japan Police Ko Pakadne Ke Liye Bheja.
Japan Ki Police Ne 5 Ghante Main Sher Ko Pakad Liya.
Sher Ko Phir Se Jungle Main Chod Diya Aur Indian Police Ko Bheja Gaya.
Indian Police 2 Din Tak Laut Ke Nahi Aayi.
To Sabhi Officers Unko Dhundne Ke Liye Jungle Main Ghus Gaye.
Ghane Jungle Mein Dekhte Hai Ki Indian Police Ek Gidad Ko Ulta Latka Kar Maar Rahi Thi
Aur Bol Rahi Thi: “Kabool Kar Bahan Ke Laude, Ki Main Hi Sher Hoon

Apne To Apne Hote Hai

Jhuke Lund Ke Bhi Sapne Hote Hai,
Chut Milne Ke Bhi Nagme Hote Hai,
Agar Khada Na Ho Apka Kabhi Chodne Mein,
To Hamein Yaad Karna Kyun Ki Apne To Apne Hote Hai.

Tuesday 10 April 2012

Esa Kyu Hai Fir?

Question Of The Year.
Jab Mohobbat Or Jung Mein Sab Jayaz Hai,
To Mohobbat Mein Hone Wale Chunnu Munnu Na-Jayaz Kyun?

IPL Ke Maze Lo I-Pill Ke Sath

Six And Sex:
Utha Ke Maro To Six,
Lita Ke Maro To Sex,
Bahar Gaya To Six,
Andar Gaya To Sex,
Dono Haath Upar To Six,
Dono Per Upar To Sex
Enjoy IPL With I-Pill..

Difference Between Foreigner And Indian After Whiskey

Whats The Difference Between Foreigner And Indian After Two Pegs Of Whiskey?
Foreigner Says: “Good Night Sweet Dreams
Indian Says: “Bhai Ab Batao Kiski Maan Chodni Hai

Monday 9 April 2012

Ladiyo Ke Liye Sujhav, Baba Saxidas Ji Ka

"Hamare Baba Ji Hamesha Ladko Ko Hi Shiksha Dete Rahte Hai, Par Aaj Unhone Pahli Bar Ladkiyo Ko Ek Sujhav Diya Hai, Batana Jarur Ki Kaisa Laga ;)"
Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Kahna Hai Ki Ladkiyo Ko Apni Shave Regular Karte Rahna Chahiye
Ab Aap Ladkiya Soch Rahi Hongi Ki Kyu?
Isliye Ki Agar Baal Jyada Badd Jayenge To Unmein Jue Pad Sakti Hai
Ab Agar Jue Padengi To Unka Dil Udhar Khujli Karne Ka Bhi Karega
Khujli To Hath Se Karni Padegi, Aur Jab Udhar Hath Lagega To Maja Bhi Aayega
Aur Jab Maja Aayega To Fir Aur Maja Lene Ka Dil Karega.
Hath Se Jab Dil Bhar Jayega To Fir Koi Boy Friend Banane Ka Dil Karega.
Aur Aage To Aap Ladkiya Sayani Hi Ho.
Isliye Agar Pyaar Vyaar Ke Chakkar Se Bachna Hai To Regular Shave Karti Raha Karo.

Ladki Ne Shayad Sprite Pee Thi

Ladka Apni Premika Ko Lekar Ek Hotel Mein Gaya
Khana Peena Khane Ke Baad Jab Sone Ki Baari Aayi To Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Kaha
Ladka: “Hello Darling, Nind Nahi Aa Rahi Hai Sex Ho Jaye?
Ladki Gusse Se: “Abe Bhonsdi Ke Meri Choot Mein Kon Sa Teri Maan Loriyan Gaa Rahi Hai, Jo Tujhe Nind Aa Jayegi, Muthh Maar Aur So Ja
Ladki Ne Shayad Sprite Pee Thi, Isliye Sidhi Baat No Bakwas …. :p

Sunday 8 April 2012

Khwaishein Chotte Bachho Ki

"Teen Bachho Ki Story, Jo Aap Logo Ko Sochne Pe Majbur Kar Degi Ki Aaj Ke Time Mein Akhir Ho Kya Raha Hai?"
Teen Bache, Karib 12-12 Saal Ke, Ghar Ke Bahar Khel Rahe The,
Wahi 2 Gaadiyan Ek Lancer Aur Dusri Honda City Khadi Thi.
Pehle Bache Ki Khwaish Badi Thi, Bola: “Main Chahta Hoon Ki Mere Chandi Ke Baal Uge, Taaki Use Tod Kar Main Ye Lancer Kharid Sakun
Dusra Kaafi Pahuncha Hua Tha, Bola: “Main Chahta Hoon Ki Mere Sone Ke Baal Uge, Taaki Use Tod Kar Main Ye Honda City Kharid Sakun
Teesra Chup Tha, Dono Ne Vajah Puchhi: “Abe Tujhe Chandi Ke Baal Chahiye Ya Sone Ke?
Teesra Bola: “Na Main Sone Ke Baal Chahta Hoon, Na Chandi Ke, Main Apni Body Ke Ek Khas Hisse Pe Baal Chahta Hoon, Wo Baal Meri Behan Ke Paas Hai Aur Ye Dono Gaadiya Usi Ki Hain

A Man With His Tool In A Woman’s Mouth

A Great Thinker Once Said:
A Man With His Tool In A Woman’s Mouth ….

Can Be A Dentist.
Shame On Your Dirty Thinking.

Friday 6 April 2012

Divorced But Still Virgin

On The Wedding Night.
Wife: “Hey Be Gentle Please .. Its My First Time On Bed
Husband Shocked: “What? But You Have Been Divorced Three Times
Wife: “Yes
My 1st Husband Was A “PhilosopherHe Only Talked About It.
2nd Was “GynecologistHe Just Kept Looking At It.
3rd Was “EngineerHe Needed A Year To Design A New Way To Do It.
And You Are A “Politician” So This Time I Know I Am Going To Be “Fu-Ked” Like The Whole Country.

Jaisa Baap Vaisa Beta

Ek Din Santa Ne Bade Dukhi Mann Se Apne Baap Ko Dukhda Sunaya.
Santa: “Papa, Mene Biwi Ko S.M.S Kiya Ke Main Aaj Raat Ko Ghar Pahunch Jaunga
Ghanta Singh: “Firr??
Santa: “Main Ghar Aaya To Wo Kisi Aur Ke Sath Bister Pe Thi
Ghanta Singh Kuch Sochte Hue: “Beta, Dil Chhota Na Kar Sms Nahi Mila Hoga
 

Beware Of Doctors

A Lady Died Of Aids Because Her Doctor Made A Mistake In Prescription.
He Wrote, Make Frequent Changes In ‘Males‘ Instead Of ‘Meals‘ Beware Of Doctors.

Hindu Ladke Se Shadi Karne Ke Fayde

Muslim Ladki Ke Fayde Ek Hindu Ladke Se Shaadi Karne Ke.
Burkhe Se Aajadi,
7-8 Deliveries Se Rahat,
Talak Ka Koi Khatra Nahi,
Saaf Daadi Wala Pati Aur Puri Lulli.

Thursday 5 April 2012

Warning On A T-Shirt Of A Girl

Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
Statutory Warning: Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Aye Meri Jaan, Itna Sa Kahna Maan

Chodumal Khan Saab Ji Ki Shayari Apni Premika Ke Liye
Shikwa Na Kar, Gilla Na Kar,
Bas Itni Si Baat Hai Mere Yaar..
Jab Main Daalu, Tu Hilla Na Kar.

Light Chale Jaane Par Reaction

Light Chale Jaane Par:
U.K: “Oh No”
U.S.A: “Whats This”
Germany: “Oh Shit”
Europe: “Hey Shit Man”
India: “Inki Behen Ko Chodu, Abi To Aayi Thi

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Definition Of A Lesbian?

Question: “What Is The Definition Of A Lesbian?
Answer: “Just Another Damn Woman Trying To Do A Man’s Job

Ladkiya Aur Jyada Sunder Aur Sexy Kaisi Lag Sakti Hai?

Pappu Ek Din Apni Girlfriend Ko Ghar Lekar Aya Aur Uska Sex Ka Mood Ban Gaya.
Ab Problem Ye Thi Ki Vo Usko Directly Sex Ko Bol Nahi Sakta Tha,
Dimag Lagaya To Ek Idea Aya, Apni Girlfriend Ko Samjhate Hue Bola
Pappu: “Agar Tum 500gm Weight Ek Minute Mein Kam Kar Do To Tum Jyada Sundar Aur Sexy Lagogi
Girlfriend Hairani Se: “Ye Kaise Ho Sakta Hai?
Pappu: “Bas Apne Kapde Utaar Do

Monday 2 April 2012

Grammer Wali Madam Ka Period

Teacher: “Bachon Aaj Hum Grammer Padhenge, To Batao Ek Aurat Ek Khidki Se Jhank Rahi Hai, Ye Kya Hai?
Pappu: “Mam, Ye Ek Vachan Hua
Teacher: “Good, Ab Batao Ki – Bahut Si Aurtein Khidkiyon Se Jhank Rahi Hai?
Pappu Kuch Sochkar Bola: “Mam, Ye To Randi Bazar Hua

Taxes On Rape

Judge: “You Are Accused Of Rape, So You Are Fined Rs.11461
Man: “My-lord Why Exactly Rs11461?
Judge: “Rs.10000 For Rape, 4% Vat And 10.2% Entertainment Tax

Sunday 1 April 2012

Insulting SMS For Your Friend

Ek Ladka Ladki Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Tha,
Ladki Achanak Zor Se Hansi,
Ladka: “Kya Hua Jaan?
Ladki: “Jaanu Tumhara To Ek Hi Tatta Hai
Ladka: “Nahi Jaan Dusra Abhi SMS Padh Raha Hai

Yaad To Aayegi Hi

Suhag Raat Ko Pati Ne Patni Ki Taange Uthai, To Patni Rone Lagi
Pati: “Kya Hua?
Patni: “Kuch Nahi Hamra Padosi Deepak Yaad Aagya, Uska Bhi Yehi Style Tha......