This Is Called True Insult

A  Family Is At The Dinner Table. The Son Asks His Father, “Dad, How Many Kinds Of Boobies Are There?”
The Father, Surprised, Answers: “Well, Son, There’s Three Kinds Of Breasts.”
“In Her Twenties, A Women’s Breasts Are Like Melons, Round And Firm.”
“In Her Thirties To Forties, They Are Like Pears, Still Nice But Hanging A Bit.”
“After Fifty, They Are Like Onions.”
“Onions?“, Son Surprised
“Yes, You See Them And They Make You Cry.”
This Infuriated His Wife And Daughter So The Daughter Said: “Mum, How Many Kinds Of ‘Willies‘ Are There?”
The Mother, Surprised, Smiles And Answers: “Well Dear, A Man Goes Through Three Phases.”
“In His Twenties, His Willy Is Like An Oak Tree, Mighty And Hard.”
“In His Thirties And Forties, It Is A Birch, Flexible But Reliable.”
“After His Fifties, It Is Like A Christmas Tree.”
“A Christmas Tree?“, Daughter Asked
“Yes, Dead From The Root Up And The Balls Are For Decoration Only.“

Lund Hai Bada Shaitan

Mein To Thi Pagal Aur Anjaan
Yeh Hain Ek Lund Ka Ehsaan
Samajhti Thi Ke Lund Hai Bejaan
Nahin Dekha Jisne Choot Ka Maidan
Jab Khara Hua Toh Mein Hui Hairaan
Is Harkat Ne Humko Kardiya Pareshan
Jab Andar Dala Toh Nikaal Di Jaan
Hum Samajhte The Lund Hai Nadaan
Lekin Ab Jana Ki Lund Hain Bara Shaitaan

Good Girls Vs Bad Girls

Good Girls Blush During Love Scenes In A Movie. Bad Girls Know They Could Do It In Better Way.
Good Girls Loosen A Few Buttons When It’s Hot Around. Bad Girls Make It Hot Around By Loosening Few Buttons.
Good Girls Have Only One Credit Card And Rarely Use It. Bad Girls Only Have One Bra And Rarely Use It.
Good Girls Pack Their Toothbrush For Traveling. Bad Girls Pack Their Diaphragms.
Good Girls Prefer The Missionary Position While Sex. Bad Girls Do Too, But Only For Starters.
Good Girls Say, “No Way.” Bad Girls Say, “When n Where?”
Good Girls Think They’re Not Fully Dressed Without A Strand Of Pearls. Bad Girls Think They’re Fully Dressed With Just A Strand Of Pearls.
Good Girls Wax Their Floors. Bad Girls Wax Their Bikini Lines.
Good Girls Wear High Heels To Work. Bad Girls Wear High Heels To Bed.

10 Most Important Guys In A Woman’s Life

10) Doctor -  Because He Says, “Take Off Your Clothes.”
9) Dentist – Because He Says, “Open Wide.”
8) Hairdresser – Because He Says, “Do You Want It Teased Or Blown.”
7) Milkman – Because He Says, “Do You Want It In Front Or In Back?”
6) Interior Decorator – Because He Says, “Once You Have It All In, You’ll Love It.”
5) Banker – Because He Says, “If You Take It Out To Soon, You’ll Lose Interest.”
4) Police Officer – Because He Says, “Spread ‘Em.”
3) Mailman – Because  He Always Delivers His Package.
2) Pilot – Because He Takes Off Fast And Then Slows Down.
1) Hunter – Because He Always Goes Deep In The Bush, Shoots Twice And Always Eats What He Shoots.

Bed Zara Majboot Banana

Sardar Ji: “Mistriji Bed Zara Majboot Banana Mere Munde Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai.”
Mistri: “Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Kuch Nahi Tutega.“

Aadmi Waha Ja Nahi Sakta?

Teacher Ne Santa Se Pucha: “Aisi Kaunsi Jagah Hai Jisko Banaya To Aadmi Ne Hai Par Phir Bhi Wo Waha Ja Nahi Sakta?”
Santa Bola: “Ladies Toilet“

Jesse Jackson Death, Hell And Decision

One day in future, Jesse Jackson dies from a Heart Attack
He immediately goes to hell and meet the Devil. “I don’t know what to do here,” Devil says. “You are on my list, but I have no room free for you. You definitely have to stay in the hell,  I’ve  few folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.”
Jesse thought that sounded pretty cool, so the devil opened the the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large swimming pool. He kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
“No,” Jesse said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer at all, and I don’t think I could do that for all day.”
The devil led him to the 2nd Room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room with full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
“No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I break rocks all the day,”commented Jesse.
The devil opened the third door. Through it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, and doing what she does best. Jesse looked at the scene and finally said, “OH Yeah, I can handle this.”
The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . . .
“OK, Monica, now you’re free to go.“