Tight Chut Ka Maja Kaise Le?

Santa Roz Biwi Ko Sex Ke Waqt Bolta Tha.
Santa: “Aur Tight Kar – Aur Tight Kar, Achhe Se Tight Kar”
Biwi Tang Aakar Ek Din Gusse Se Boli: “Bhosdi Ke Bahar Jaa Ke Ganne Ke Juice Ki Machine Main Dal Le, Tight Bhi Pura Hoga Aur Juice Bhi Jyada Niklega“

Mujhe Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikhayi De Raha

Ek Bar Santa Ki Eyes Mein Kuch Problem Aa Gayi, To Uska Eyes Ka Operation Karna Pada.
Operation Ho Gaya To Santa Ne Socha Ki Chalo Paisi Bachaye Jaye.
Doctor Ne Uski Aankho Ki Patti Kholni Shuru Ki, Aur Pucha
Doctor: “Kaisa Dikh Raha Hai Ab Aapko?”
Santa: “Doctor Saab Mujhe Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha”
Doctor Ne Uski Aankhein Saanf Ki Or Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Dr. Saab Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikh Raha”
Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Apni Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Apne Kapde Utare, Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Kuch Nahi Dikh Raha Ji”
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Bra And Panty Utarne Ko Kaha, Aur Fir Pucha.
Santa: “Nahi Ji Sab Kuch Kaala Kaala Hai”
Doctor Ne Nurse Ko Kaha Ki Santa Ke Samne Jake Apne Boobs Hilaye Aur Choot Mein Ungli Dale.
Nurse Ne Esa Kiya, Doctor Ne Fir Santa Se Pucha.
Santa: “Doctor Saab Sach Mein Mujhe Kuch Najar Nahi Aa Raha”
Doctor Ne Santa Ko Zor Se Thappar Mara Aur Bola.
Doctor: “Bhonsdi Ke Kuch Bhi Nazar Nahi Aa Raha To, Tera Lund Kaisi Khada Ho Gaya Hai?“

Kaam Pura Dhyan Laga Ke Karna Chahiye

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Ne Apni Naabhi Ke Neeche Chidiya Ka Tattoo Banwaya Tha
Ek Din Pappu Ke Sath Sex Karne Ke Baad Usne Pappu Se Pucha.
Ladki: “Tumne Chidiya Dekhi?”
Pappu: “Nahi Mera Saara Dhyan Ghosle Mein Tha“

Ab Upvas Bhi Hoga Khaas

Kya Aap Bhi Pareshan Hai Ese Dialogs Se
“Aaj Nahi, Aaj To Mera Vrat Hai”
Gabraye Nahi, Ab Aise Dino Ke Liye Jaldi Hi Aa Raha Hai
Manforce Condom In Sabudana Flavor,
Only For Fasting Days,
Ab Upvas Bhi Hoga Khaas.

How To Make Younger Wife Pregnant

There Was An Elderly Man Who Wanted To Make His Younger Wife Pregnant.
So, He Went To The Doctor To Have A Sperm Count Done.
The Doctor Told Him To Take A Specimen Cup Home, Fill It, And Bring It Back The Next Day.
He Elderly Man Came Back The Next Day And The Specimen Cup Was Empty And The Lid Was On It.
Doctor: “What Was The Problem?”
Elderly Man: “Well, You I Tried With My Right Hand…Nothing. So, I Tried With My Left Hand…Nothing. My Wife Tried With Her Right Hand…Nothing. Her Left Hand…Nothing. Her Mouth…Nothing. Then My Wife’s Friend Tried. Right Hand, Left Hand, Mouth…Still Nothing.”
Doctor: “Wait A Minute. You Mean Your Wife’s Friend Too?”
Elderly Man: “Yeah, And We Still Couldn’t Get The Lid Off Of The Specimen Cup“

Nirmal Baba Ka Upaye Biwiyo Ke Liye

Ek Baar Ek Aurat Badi Pareshani Ki HaalaT Mein Nirmal Baba Ke Pass Gayi Aur Rote Hue Apna Dukhda Boli
Aurat: “Baba Ji Meri Madad Karo”
Nirmal Baba: “Kya Hua Bachha?”
Aurat: “Mera Pati Roj Rat Ko Ghar Late Aata Hai”
Nirmal Baba: “Ek Kam Karo, Ghar Ke Bahar Ek Board Laga Do”
Aurat: “Ji Kaisa Board?”
Nirmal Baba: “Yahi Ki, Raat Ko 9 Baje Sex Shuru, Pati Ghar Ho Ya Na Ho“

Pakistani Urdu Vs India Ki Hindi & Punajbi

Bhai Jan Aap Mujhe Pareshan Kar Rahe Hain / Yaar Tune Kya Meri Gaand Leni Kar Rakhi Hai /yaar Tu Ki Bund Leni Kitti Aa
Maine Apko Kya Keh Diya / Maine Konsa Teri Gaand Mar Li / Mein Ki Teri Bund Marli
Main Apko Abhi Theek Karta Hoon / Ruk Abhi Teri Bahan Ko Lund Deta Hun / Dena Haan Teri Bhen Nu Lun
Ye Sab Kisne Kiya / Ye Kisne Maa Chudvayi Hai / Aa Kine Ma Chudai Aa
Main Apko Pasand Nahi Karta / Main Teri Gaand Bhi Nahi Maarta / Main Teri Bund Vi Ni Marda
Aap Mere Sath Itna Free Kyun Ho Rahein Hai / Abe Mere Lund Pe Kyu Chadi Jaa Raha Hai / Lun Te Ki Chari Janaa
Aap Bahut Chalak Insaan Ho / Tu Bahut Bada Bahan Ka Lund Hai / Tu Pura Haraam Da E

Buro Kamo Ki Saza Itni Jaldi Nahi Milti

Ek Baar Ek Callgirl Jisne Sex Karne Ke Record Tode The,
Achanak Zindagi Se Tang Aakar Suicide Karne Ke Liye Station Gayi,
Aur Taangein Pasaar Kar Patri Par Baith Gayi,
Aur Agle Din Subah Paper Ki Headline Thi “Train Lapata Hai“

Dimag Ho Aisa To Kaise Na Mile Choot

Ek Baar Ek Aadmi Apne Dost Ke Ghar Jata Hai.
Par Uska Dost Ghar Par Nahi Hota Kisi Kam Se Bahar Market Tak Gaya Hota Hai.
Aadmi Uski Biwi Se Puchta Hai: “Aapke Pati Kab Tak Aa Jayenge?”
Aurat Bolti Hai: “1 Gante Tak Aa Jayenge”
Aadmi: “Chalo Thodi Der Yahi Pe Unka Intzar Kar Leta Hoon”
Aadmi Wahi Sofe Pe Beth Jata Hai, Thodi Der Baad Dost Ki Biwi Se Bolta Hai.
Dost: “Babhi Ji, Agar Aap Mujhe Apna Ek Boob Dikhayengi To Mein Aapko 500 Rupaye Dunga”
Pahle To Aurat Sochti Hai Ki Sala Kya Bakwas Kar Raha Hai, Fir Socha Ki Sirf Ek Boob Hi To Dikhana Hai.
Aurat Apna Ek Boob Dikha Deti Hai Aur 500 Rupaye Le Leti Hai.
Thodi Der Baad Aadmi Phir Puchta Hai: “Agar Aap Mujhe Apne Dono Boobs Dikhayengi To Mein 500 Rupaye Aur Dunga”
Aurat Ye Sunkar Jaldi Se Dono Boobs Dikha Deti Hai Aur 500 Rupaye Le Leti Hai.
Aadmi Phir Bola: “1500 Rupaye Aur Dunga Agar Inhe Chussne Do To”
Aurat Ne Socha Choosna Hi To Hai 1500 Rupaye Bhi Mil Jayenge.
Aurat Ne Jaldi Se Apni Shirt Utari Aur Boli: “Ye Lo Choos Lo”
Aadmi Choosne Laga Use Aur Maja Aaya. Thodi Der Choosne Ke Baad Phir Kaha.
Aadmi: “2500 Rupaye Dunga Chut Bhi Dikha Do”
Aurat Ne Socha Ki Sirf Dikhani Hi To Hai 2500 Rss Mill Jayenge, Khoob Achi Shopping Karungi, Aurat Ne Jeans Utaar Ke Apni Chut Bhi Dikha Di.
Lekin Aadmi Ka Usko Dekhte Hi Sex Karne Ka Man Karne Laga Aur Bola.
Aadmi: “Babhi Ji, Bas Ek Khawish Aur, Agar Aap Sex Karne De To 5000 Rupaye Aur Dunga”
Aurat Ne Socha Chalo Ghar Par Bhi Koi Nahi Hai Aur Taste Bhi Change Ho Jayega Aur Paise Bhi Mil Jayenge, Vese Bhi Kisi Ko Kya Pata Lagna Hai
Aadmi Ne Tassali Baksh Us Se Chudayi Ki Aur Sex Karke Paise Dene Ke Baad Bola
Aadmi: “Acha Lagta Hai Unko Der Ho Jayegi Mein Phir Kabhi Aa Jaunga”
Aurat Khushi Se Boli: “Haan Ji Jaroor-Jaroor Aaiyega”
Aadmi Ke Niklte Hi Thodi Der Baad Aurat Ka Pati Aa Jata Hai Aur Puchta Hai.
Pati: “Mere Kisi Dost Ne Aakar Tumhe 10000 Rupaye To Nahi Diye, Jo Usne Mujhse Kal Udhar Liye The, Bol Raha Tha Ki Aaj Ghar De Jaunga“

Punjabi Shayari For Girlfriend

Chal Ni Kudiye Kachi Khol,
Mumme Tere Gol-Gol,
La Ke Kapde Aaja Kol,
Nange Ho Ke Kariye Ghol,
Ghase Marange Forty-Four,
Munda Hoye Gol-Matol,
Nam Rakhange Sunny Deol.

Fauji Aisi To Nahi Hote?

Gaanv Mein Ek Ladki Bhagi Bhagi Ghar Ke Ander Aayi Aur Apni Maa Se Boli
Ladki: “Maan Foji Aa Raha Hai”
Maan: “Beti Andar Aaja Fojiyon Ki Niyat Kharab Hoti Hai”
Ladki: “Magar Maan Foji Sardar Hai”
Maan: “To Phir Bakriyan Bhi Andar Lele”
Ladki: “Maan Foji Novjyot Singh Sidhu Hai”
Maan: “To Phir Bakriyon Ke Sath Sath Murgiyan Bhi Andar Lele“

Kya Se Kya Bana Diya Sajaan Tune Mujhe

Bacha Kuch Sochta Hua Apni Maa Ke Kamre Mein Aya Aur Puchha
Beta: “Mummy, Didi Ko Sab Log Maal Kyun Kehte Hai?”
Mummy: “Beta, Shadi Ke Pehle Main Bhi Maal Thi Tere Papa Ne Ghis-Ghis Kar Maal Se L Nikalkar Maa Bana Diya“

Kaam Karna Koi Asaan Thode Hai

Office Mein Nayi Secretary Aayi, Aate Hi Usne Boss Se Pucha
Secretary: “Sir, Mujhe Roz Kitne Ghante Bethna Padega?”
Boss: “Do Option Hai – Bagal Ke Cabin Mein 10 Ghante, Ya Phir Mere Ghante Pe 10 Minute“

This Is Old Man Is So Nice

A Blind Man Was Walking Down The Street With His Dog.
They Stopped At The Corner To Wait For The Passing Traffic.
The Dog, At This Point, Started Pissing On The Mans Leg.
As The Dog Finished The Man Reached Into His Coat Pocket And Pulled Out A Doggie Treat And Started Waving It At The Dog.
A Passerby Saw All The Events Happening And Was Shocked.
He Approached The Blind Man And Asked How He Could Possibly Reward The Dog For Such A Nasty Deed.
The Blind Man Replied “Oh I’m Not Rewarding Him, I’m Just Trying To Find His Head So I Can Kick His Fuckin’ Ass“

Biwi Se Syanpanti Nahi Karni Chahiye

"Bahut Se Log Apni Biwiyo Se Syanpanti Karte Hai Aur Sochte Hai Ki Budhu Banaye, Par Is Biwi Ne To Haal Behaal Kar Diye"

Ek Aadmi Fauj Mein Tha Aur Har Mahine Biwi Ko Paise Bheja Karta Tha
Ek Bar Us Ne Apni Biwi Ko Khat Likha: “Is Mahine Salary Ke Badle 100 Kiss Bhej Raha Hoon”
Biwi Bhi Puri Tez Thi Palat Ke Jawab Bheja: “Aap Ki Salary Ke Badle 100 Kiss Milay, Hisab Bhej Rahi Hoon:
Doodh Wala 2 Kiss Mein Hi Maan Gaya,
Teacher Ko 7 Deni Padi,
Sabzi Wala 7 Main Nahi Mana To 9 Dene Padi,
Kiryanewala 9 Kiss Se Nahi Mana To Usko 5 Aur Di,
Makaan Malik To Roz 6-7 Le Hi Jata Hai,
Aap Chinta Mat Karna, Mere Pass Approx 35 Aur Hai, Yeh Mahina Aaram Se Kat Jayega.”

Yaar Ese Na Kar Chusne De

Ladki: “Jaanu Mere Muh Mein Daalo, Main Choosungi”
Ladka: “Nahi Nahi, Tum Kha Gayi To Main Kya Karunga?”
Ladki: “Yaar Itne Kanjus Na Bano, Tum Doosri Cornetto Le Lena“

Who Was In Charge?

Once Time All The Organs Of The Body Were Having A Meeting, Trying To Decide Who Was In Charge.
The Brain Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Run All The Body’s Systems, So Without Me Nothing Would Happen”
The Heart Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Pump The Blood And Circulate Oxygen All Over The Body, So Without Me You’d All Waste Away.”
The Stomach Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Process Food And Give All Of You Energy.”
The Rectum Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I’m Responsible For Waste Removal.”
All The Other Body Parts Laughed At The Rectum And Insulted Him, So In A Huff, He Shut Down Tight.
Within A Few Days, The Brain Had A Terrible Headache, The Stomach Was Bloated, And The Blood Was Toxic.
Eventually The Other Organs Gave In. They All Agreed That The Rectum Should Be The Boss.
The Moral Of The Story? The Asshole Is Always In Charge.

Din Raat Dikhe Bas Mujhe Ek Hi Cheez

Pappu Ne Santa Se Puchha: “Papa, Mummy Ke Do Aur Cow Ke Chaar Kyu Hote Hai?”
Santa: “Madarchod, Kaha Se Sikh Ke Aaya Hai Ye Sab Tu”
Pappu: “Papa, Main To Taangon (Legs) Ki Baat Kar Raha Hoon, Apko To Din Raat Bas Chuchi Hi Dikhti Hai“

Use With Caution

A Man In Hurry By Mistake Uses Ladies Toilet In A Five Star Hotel.
He Sits Down And Notices 4 Buttons- WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, He Presses WW & He Is Gently Sprayed With Warm Water,
Then WA, A Blast Of Warm Air Dries Him.
Then PP, A Powder Puff Which Left Him Smelling Fresh.
Feeling Pampered He Presses APR.
Next Day He Wakes Up In Hospital.
He Asked the nurse: “What Happened To Me, All I Remember Is I Pressed APR”
A Nurse Smiled And Said “APR Meant Automatic Pad Remover Your Cock And Balls Are In This Jar, If You Want, Take Them.”

Tharki Aunti, Pappu Ki Deewani

Jawan Ladka Apni Jawan Aunti Ke Sath Scooter Par Ja Raha Tha,
Jab Bhi Aunti Ke Boobs Uski Kamar Par Lagte To Wo Kahta,
Ladka: “Na Pappu Na Ye Aunti Hai”
Ghar Aa Ke Aunti Ne Use Pucha: “Tu Kis Pappu Se Baatein Kar Raha Tha?”
Ladke Ne Sharmate Hue Kaha: “Mera Baar-Baar Khada Ho Raha Tha To Main Isko Samjha Raha Tha Ke Pappu Khada Na Ho Ye Aunti Hai”
Aunti Khushi Se Boli: “Hat Pagal, Tu Pappu Ko Na Rok, Aunti To Main Teri Hoon Pappu Ki To Nahi“